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Is it right for mistresses to ask for tribute?

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submissiveforwomen
Posted

I'm really not sure about this but I need to ask what your thoughts are.

Do you think mistresses should ask for tribute, do you think it's right that they do this? Or do you, like me, think is totally wrong and should not be in the BDSM community? I really need to know because I had a really big argument with a mistress, and I need people's opinion on this. I don't believe this belongs in the BDSM community!

Please let me know what you think, I don't know if I'm right or if I'm wrong.

  • Like 3
LeilaSub190
Posted
I don't know too much about female doms but I do know there are LOADS of female dom accounts on this site that are feigning any genuine or emotional interest and are purely in it to cash in by lying to people. Don't suppose she asked for £300 so she could get sex toys? There's one who keeps remaking the same account but stupidly keeps using the same lines. Until you're in DS relationship and therefore trust that person because you've committed to them and so you might buy things together or for each other to use together.... I don't think there's any place for money exchange at all. I'd take it as a red flag and find someone more deserving x
  • Like 10
Posted
Exactly what Leila says.
  • Like 3
Posted

LeilaSub190 said is perfectly. There are far too many fakes and non-genuine Mistresses on this site to really trust any of them until you have at the very least met them in person to confirm they are real and not juts using you as a cash cow and taking advantage of you.

 

As a  rule of thumb on this site, any other site or in life in general, do not give money to people who demand it in this way unless you have at the very least met them and got to know them well enough that you not only trust them but that there is no doubt about their intentions in you mind. If your Mistress is requesting tribute before you have even met, then that is a big red flag for me. If however she is asking you shower her with gifts or money once you had met and actually had some time to get acquainted with her in person, then I don't see this being a problem for someone who is into that scenario. 

 

I think tributes and asking for them is not my cup of tea and it's something that I, as a male Dom and Master will never request of my sub's or necessarily agree with. However there are some in the BDSM and Kink community who actually enjoy being Dommed and giving in this way as part of their kink. Is it wrong that it is part of the BDSM world...No I don't think it is.

 

There is obviously a level of need for Masters or Mistresses who financially Dom their sub's which can only come about from the sub's themselves, however genuine FinDom's are few and far between and the preponderance of fakes and wannabe's gives all the genuine folks a very bad name and reputation indeed. 

 

What you need to decide is if this is something you would be OK with and have an interest in exploring at all at this point as it is obviously something she demands of you and expects. If you tell her that you need to meet to at least verify she is for real and not fake before giving her any money or tributes due to meeting her online, she should be understanding of this and seek to reassure you and any fears or anxiety you may have about it. If she reacts badly to this and instead of respecting your boundaries, limits and need for more trust then that tell you everything you need to know about how one sided a relationship this would be for you. Any good Mistress will likely tel you that while they wish to be served, worshiped and adored, they will only do this safe in the knowledge that whatever sub's they have are happy and equally satisfied with the relationship arrangements, rules and boundaries.

 

Any relationship, be it Vanilla or BDSM only works when both parties are happy and secure within a mutually beneficial and nurturing environment, so if this environment is not mutual beneficial or nurturing and your not getting what you need as a sub, then you have your answer as to what needs to be done. Often in these situations there is no right or wrong that applies to every situation and the context is key, however from what you have said already it sounds very much like this situation feels wrong to you and if it feels wrong it's usually because it is. Trust you gut and go with it my friend   

  • Like 7
Posted
Genuine Mistresses would not ask for tribute they would do it for the pleasure it give them and their sub
  • Like 5
Posted

asking for tribute isn't a sign of independence and sufficiency, a tribute should be given to show respect and honor and there must be a willingness, it is like an award given to worthy people. forcing subs to pay for a tribute, financial domination and the like aren't far from robbery. (just an opinion)

  • Like 3
Posted

As others have said there are quite alot outshine that try reel you in by asking for your email right away or sending you a link to make a slave profile and saying sign up for month gold membership BIG RED FLAG

Most that send their pics are either stood in hallway or kitchen type area That looks fancy and pics don't look genuine

So tread carefully 

  • Like 3
Posted
On 10/11/2017 at 3:46 AM, submissiveforwomen said:

I'm really not sure about this but I need to ask what your thoughts are.

Do you think mistresses should ask for tribute, do you think it's right that they do this? Or do you, like me, think is totally wrong and should not be in the BDSM community? I really need to know because I had a really big argument with a mistress, and I need people's opinion on this. I don't believe this belongs in the BDSM community!

Please let me know what you think, I don't know if I'm right or if I'm wrong.

I was always told it is NOT nice to ever ask for anything...and that old adage "ask and you shall receive" does NOT apply here.  A gift received without asking is better appreciated and she should learn this...send her on her way...just my thoughts...

  • Like 4
Posted
On 11/10/2017 at 9:28 AM, LeilaSub190 said:

I don't know too much about female doms but I do know there are LOADS of female dom accounts on this site that are feigning any genuine or emotional interest and are purely in it to cash in by lying to people. Don't suppose she asked for £300 so she could get sex toys? There's one who keeps remaking the same account but stupidly keeps using the same lines. Until you're in DS relationship and therefore trust that person because you've committed to them and so you might buy things together or for each other to use together.... I don't think there's any place for money exchange at all. I'd take it as a red flag and find someone more deserving x

Have to say..I agree totally..I was contacted by a Dom...asking for tributes....even before we chatted...etc...So NO...!...A...RED flag is a must....Be really careful....Any form of payment without getting to know who you are thinking of submitting to....needs really  careful  consideration...!...I know what I am talking about...!....Take care....Cassie...!

  • Like 4
Posted
On 11/10/2017 at 8:46 AM, submissiveforwomen said:

I'm really not sure about this but I need to ask what your thoughts are.

Do you think mistresses should ask for tribute, do you think it's right that they do this? Or do you, like me, think is totally wrong and should not be in the BDSM community? I really need to know because I had a really big argument with a mistress, and I need people's opinion on this. I don't believe this belongs in the BDSM community!

Please let me know what you think, I don't know if I'm right or if I'm wrong.

Going by my own experiences....you are right...!..Real  Doms are there to satisfy  their clients wishes and fantasies,,..not their own...desires...!...If that is the case....they should be honest enough to admit that...if they don't...,stay clear...!...Friends with benefits....can be a much better option.....and free...!...

  • Like 3
Posted
On 11/10/2017 at 9:28 AM, LeilaSub190 said:

I don't know too much about female doms but I do know there are LOADS of female dom accounts on this site that are feigning any genuine or emotional interest and are purely in it to cash in by lying to people. Don't suppose she asked for £300 so she could get sex toys? There's one who keeps remaking the same account but stupidly keeps using the same lines. Until you're in DS relationship and therefore trust that person because you've committed to them and so you might buy things together or for each other to use together.... I don't think there's any place for money exchange at all. I'd take it as a red flag and find someone more deserving x

Totally agree....Cassie...

  • Like 2
Posted
On 11/10/2017 at 8:43 PM, QUEEN_RED said:

asking for tribute isn't a sign of independence and sufficiency, a tribute should be given to show respect and honor and there must be a willingness, it is like an award given to worthy people. forcing subs to pay for a tribute, financial domination and the like aren't far from robbery. (just an opinion)

Do you honestly expect ..clients to pay for a session without knowing what they could have to suffer because of your personal loves.....Do you expect ...someone like me ...who would love to have a Dom as my next door neighbour.....to go ahead with...a total stranger....not knowing anything about who I would be submitting myself to...!...Would you take that RISK....Imagine yourself in that situation.....If you can't......then do NOT call yourself a Dom...You need that very special level of understanding...If you do not have that....find another website...!

  • Like 1
Posted

Sorry...it makes me really angry thinking about  Doms who think that have it all their way.....Without willing subjects....they would have NO income....!....Get to know your subjects first...!....Make us feel welcome and willing to  discuss our limits...et....and abide by whatever we agree...!......Trust is what it is all about....Casie...

  • Like 2
Moni
Posted
On 11/10/2017 at 10:28 AM, LeilaSub190 said:

I don't know too much about female doms but I do know there are LOADS of female dom accounts on this site that are feigning any genuine or emotional interest and are purely in it to cash in by lying to people. Don't suppose she asked for £300 so she could get sex toys? There's one who keeps remaking the same account but stupidly keeps using the same lines. Until you're in DS relationship and therefore trust that person because you've committed to them and so you might buy things together or for each other to use together.... I don't think there's any place for money exchange at all. I'd take it as a red flag and find someone more deserving x

Just as a reminder, if you suspect a profile is fake or a spammer, don't hesitate to report the profile. You can report a member via the icon on the members’ profile (underneath their profile image) and you can report individual messages too. We want Fetish.com to be a fun and safe site and that is only possible with your help. It's YOUR community so don't be afraid to report any suspicious behaviour or members who violate the community rules. Reporting is anonymous and the other member will never know who made the report. 

All the best :) 

  • Like 7
Posted (edited)
On 11/10/2017 at 9:28 AM, LeilaSub190 said:

I don't know too much about female doms but I do know there are LOADS of female dom accounts on this site that are feigning any genuine or emotional interest and are purely in it to cash in by lying to people. Don't suppose she asked for £300 so she could get sex toys? There's one who keeps remaking the same account but stupidly keeps using the same lines. Until you're in DS relationship and therefore trust that person because you've committed to them and so you might buy things together or for each other to use together.... I don't think there's any place for money exchange at all. I'd take it as a red flag and find someone more deserving x

..A lot of Dom's..mention some form of gratuity....at the beginning as a way of showing our willingness..to be considered as Worthy in their eyes..!....What about us...Subs...should'nt we have the same option....to find out if they are Worthy...for us to submit to them...!...Without willing Subs..etc....what would they do..without us....they would have nothing...Maybe  they can find a line in Self..Domination..!..The inter action between a Dom...and a curious Sub...in the beginning...is the most important issue...Would any one order blindly over the internet and pay...not knowing what they bought..same principle..!...I really was contacted by a Dom...seriously....about 10.pm...received a request for payment..she wanted a gratuity...to show good and genuine intentions...I actually received a request from a Dom...on this Website....to ring her local Thai restaurant and pay for her meal..!..Prove yourselves worthy of our submissive nature..!...before asking for any Gratuity...Without us you have nothing..!...It is like looking for friendship....you might have to meet a few people....before you meet someone you feel that you have a lot to build on in developing a friendship..One might have to meet a few Dom's before you meet the one you feel is right for you...Until you get to that stage...then after that...it is up to the two of you how to proceed..!....A Dom ...Sub ...Slave..relationship....is very special....and a lot more has to be taken into account...!..Maybe..an odd thing to say...but one has to click...with a Dom...One has to discover whether one feels...Yes..I can trust Her or Him.....One Bad experience can make you so wary...even...stop you for chasing your dream....Don't let that happen...Check out my profile....there is a little bit mentioned.....It has taken me years...to get to this stage...a stage I wanted such a long time ago..!...Memories do not fade that quickly....bear that in mind..

And they should realise that...and Not take advantage of us..!...

Edited by Cassie34
A couple of words missing...Added moments..
  • Like 2
MadamDomme
Posted

Asking for money is cheap and disgusting. No excuses. If she's a sex worker she should say it from the get go. I buy the toys Im interested in. If the guy is interested in something I don't have, he buys it and keeps it. Other than that, I'm not even interested in a gift and consider them a gateway to misunderstandings and problems. Don't budge on your rules. Don't let anyone guilt trip you for having them. 

  • Like 4
Posted

You know what....you have given me hope...!....Something I had given up on...!....Sounds silly....but Thanks...

  • Like 1
Posted

I don't believe you should be payed for being a dom or a sub as you are both providing what you both desire which doesn't have anything to do with money

  • Like 2
Julie234
Posted

Yes....slave should pay tribute to mistress 

Posted

Whichever way you look at it....whether you call it a Tribute....any form of payment for services....is a payment....does not matter how you describe it...it is a payment...Like any other individual or business..one would expect to get a receipt....money is changing hands...Even tips in a restaurant are taxed...If I am or was going to pay for a Dom's services....I should be able to get a receipt....If something went wrong....you went back home with some sort of infection....from unclean equipment used from their previous client. .then there would be some sort of redress...If any Dom asks you to sign any sort of agreement....etc...Ask yourself why..they have a responsibility to make sure that their equipment etc....is safe...clean...even spraying with Dettol or similar...can prevent any harbouring bugs being transferred to their next client..!...However you look at it...A tribute is an income..!...Do Not ignore your responsibilities...Check out my comments about Leather..!....Every Dom seems to be only concerned whether we are worthy...subjects...I would like to know....how do we know whether you are worthy of controlling our submissive nature..!...Cassie

Posted

Hi there Cassie, any real Dom (of which there are a few I have met on the site who are very nice and genuine people) is not concerned with “How worthy” a sub may or may not be. Most real Dom’s understand fully that it is up to them to earn a sub’s gift of submission, so in this way it is actually for the Dom to prove how worthy they are of a sub’s gift of submission, as it is the greatest gift that a Dom can be given. This is a gift that can only be earned through consent, trust, honesty and respect and as such it is upon the Master or Dom to cultivate these four pillars with any sub that they contact. I am sorry to hear you have had such negative experiences of Dom’s on the site so far, but I can assure you we are not all like that.

  • Like 3
Posted

A great reply....it is so difficult to choose the Dom that is right for one self....I think a Dom has to be really honest...and understand that not all submissives  want to be treated as dirt..!...That first connection with a Dom...is so important...Don't come across that there is no option but to accept your way of treating subs or slaves....You need us more than we need you...without us...what have you got..?...Make us feel welcome into your world....Do not put us off by your initial demands...we have to get to know you....build up that trust which is so important ..!....It should be enjoyable for both of us...however you want to interpret  that..!..That initial contact can make or break  a possible Dom...Sub..Slave...relationship..!...Cassie...and I am still looking for that perfect Female Dom..!

Posted

a truly dominate women will never demand Money or fee just there submission he/ she will only feel blessed when it is gifted to her and any gift worth having is wroth waiting for at the end of the day

  • Like 2
Posted

Would you send Money to a Stranger you never meet before  cose there no law saying a sub can ask a Mistress for Money and if sex invloved in send Money that called Prostitution

  • Like 2

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