Hello there. The first thing you need to know about me is that I'm a writer so I like to write and I like to read and I love to talk.

What else? I love to cook (my yuk sung is the best around for miles), watch quality American television drama, create increasingly fabulous and complicated betting systems, watch boxing and arthouse cinema. All at the same time where possible. I have boundless compassion and enjoy helping old ladies across the road - sometimes they even make it to the other side.

I'm 6'2 with the mind of a scientist and heart of an axe murderer. I like hurting girls. But does this really make me a bad person? ¹

I'm here to chat with and meet like-minded deviants. I get along well with the depraved. Successful applicants will be bright, sparky, with a good heart and a devious mind.

Are you up to the challenge?

~Indiana Jones music plays~

~Credits roll~

¹It really does.