Hi all, bit long winded, so bear with me. If you just want to read my query and not the whole backstory see the final paragraph marked with an asterisk.
Have always been into kink. Went through a very intense period of it in my mid-twenties where I was part of the scene, had a lovely Domme playmate Read more…who took very good care of me as she introduced me to some of the fun to be had. I discovered some things about myself that gave me immense satisfaction and pleasure. I have since moved away and mostly lost contact with her and have had two children which did a bit of damage to my libido for a year or six! (Nothing like sleep deprivation and constant interruption to make sex very quick and basic, if it happens at all!).
My husband is vanilla-ish, but open minded and luckily more on the Dom side. He's had some mental health struggles which I have supported him through and been very much the carer/strength in the relationship. As my libido has come back and his health has recovered to some extent I find myself craving with great intensity the submissive relationship I previously explored. I want to be cherished and taken care of; to be told what to do and to be pleasured in return for my submission. I need to be in that place where I can let go and float because I am mentally and emotionally exhausted and depleted. Depression is a selfish illness so I have had to be selfless and I would like, just now and then, to be the one on the receiving end of all the care.
Husband and I have been exploring some more kink fantasies of late and whilst I'm not sure I'll get him to a club any time soon (though I would love that) he has shown willing to explore some more bedroom BDSM. I know he has joined a forum himself to ask some questions, it may well be this one but I'd rather not know :-)
*The aspect of my kink that has always had the most effect on me is restraint, particularly ropes/shibari. I was wondering if anybody could recommend a good book/site to explain to a potential Dom how to get started, what ropes are good, what effect ropes are likely to have on the sub/sub space, aftercare - all those sorts of things. Especially as I have sunk very deeply into subspace when tied into a rope harness before and needed quite significant aftercare so want to make sure he's informed. I could explain some of it to him myself (though not how to do the tying) but it feels rather like topping from the bottom so I'd rather buy him a book and let him figure it out. Luckily he's into sailing so shouldn't have any issues with the knots and ropes!