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Description
Submissive in training, exploring more about BDSM and the DDLG dynamic. I have a Dominant and I’m not looking for anyone else. I'm not here to find another Dominant, just to ask questions, clear doubts, and discover more about myself within this dynamic
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Struggling with porn in a LDR D/s relationship
Hi everyone,
I'm in a long-distance D/s relationship (he's my Dominant and also my boyfriend), and I've been feeling very conflicted about something lately. From the beginning, I knew my partner watched porn, and I didn't think it would affect me much. But recently, it’s started to really Read more…hurt.
Earlier today, he shared some videos with me where women were being publicly humiliated by other women—stripped, slapped, etc.—and told me that he had masturbated to some of them before. I asked if he still could, and he said yes, with some of them. I’m not trying to judge him or shame him, but it honestly made me feel really uncomfortable and even a bit betrayed.
The thing is, he told me he doesn’t want me watching porn, not because of jealousy, but because he thinks it might make me dependent on it. So I stopped. And even though I agreed at the time, now I’m struggling with this imbalance.
I know he cares about me, and he’s been very open and honest. But I can’t lie—this makes me feel insecure, hurt, and even a little replaced. I’m still new to this lifestyle, and we haven’t been able to do training or really deepen our dynamic because of the distance, which makes me feel even more disconnected sometimes.
I’m wondering:
Has anyone else in a D/s or LDR felt this way before?
How do you deal with porn in a dynamic where one partner is Dominant?
Does it affect your trust, or your emotional connection?
Am I overreacting by feeling betrayed, especially knowing the kind of content it was?
I’m trying really hard not to let my insecurities take over, but I’d love to hear your honest thoughts. Thank you so much in advance.
I'm in a long-distance D/s relationship (he's my Dominant and also my boyfriend), and I've been feeling very conflicted about something lately. From the beginning, I knew my partner watched porn, and I didn't think it would affect me much. But recently, it’s started to really Read more…hurt.
Earlier today, he shared some videos with me where women were being publicly humiliated by other women—stripped, slapped, etc.—and told me that he had masturbated to some of them before. I asked if he still could, and he said yes, with some of them. I’m not trying to judge him or shame him, but it honestly made me feel really uncomfortable and even a bit betrayed.
The thing is, he told me he doesn’t want me watching porn, not because of jealousy, but because he thinks it might make me dependent on it. So I stopped. And even though I agreed at the time, now I’m struggling with this imbalance.
I know he cares about me, and he’s been very open and honest. But I can’t lie—this makes me feel insecure, hurt, and even a little replaced. I’m still new to this lifestyle, and we haven’t been able to do training or really deepen our dynamic because of the distance, which makes me feel even more disconnected sometimes.
I’m wondering:
Has anyone else in a D/s or LDR felt this way before?
How do you deal with porn in a dynamic where one partner is Dominant?
Does it affect your trust, or your emotional connection?
Am I overreacting by feeling betrayed, especially knowing the kind of content it was?
I’m trying really hard not to let my insecurities take over, but I’d love to hear your honest thoughts. Thank you so much in advance.
LikeBabyJoker910, cummingthadiii, tampaWolf813and 30 more… · 16 Replies
Can DDLG Be Combined with a Master/Slave Relationship? Looking for Guidance and Experiences
Thank you so much for taking the time to look up and send me that article. I really appreciate it! It helped me understand things better, and I’m truly grateful for your effort and kindness
Can DDLG Be Combined with a Master/Slave Relationship? Looking for Guidance and Experiences
Thank you so much for taking the time to respond to me! I really appreciate it.
I already talked to my partner about this, and he says that there can be a balance between both dynamics. But what I really want to know is whether I’m actually a Little or not. He told me that some Littles have a Read more… specific age, and he asked me what age I would like, but I have no idea. I also don’t really like the idea of having a specific age; I just want to be myself. I’m not sure if that’s possible or if having an age is mandatory.
Another thing that worries me is that my partner loves the idea of me being his slave, but I don’t know if he truly likes the idea of me being a Little. I’m afraid that he’s just telling me it’s okay to make me feel better, but in reality, it’s not something he actually enjoys. I feel like I wouldn’t be fully pleasing him, and that thought makes me anxious.
Again, thank you so much for your insights! I really appreciate the help
Can DDLG Be Combined with a Master/Slave Relationship? Looking for Guidance and Experiences
Thank you so much for your response! It really helps me understand that there’s no single way to do this and that I can explore what feels right for me. I’m still very new to BDSM in general, so I have a lot of doubts and insecurities. I really like the idea of DDLG, but I don’t know if I’m truly a Read more… Little or how to balance it with a Master/slave dynamic.
I appreciate your suggestion about books! Do you have any specific recommendations? Also, how did you personally realize you were a Little? I’d love to hear more about your experiences if you don’t mind sharing.
Again, thank you for taking the time to answer me!
Can DDLG Be Combined with a Master/Slave Relationship? Looking for Guidance and Experiences
Thank you for your response! I’m also very new to this, and I haven’t fully explored BDSM yet. I have so many doubts and insecurities about different aspects of it, and it would be great to hear your thoughts
LikeDaddyDom66 ·
Jump to discussion
Can DDLG Be Combined with a Master/Slave Relationship? Looking for Guidance and Experiences
Hi everyone, I hope you can help me with some doubts I have.
I currently have a Dominant, but our relationship is long-distance, so we haven't explored much in practice. The dynamic we have in mind is Master/slave, which interests me, but at the same time, I feel a strong curiosity about DDLG.
My Read more…dilemma is that I don't know if DDLG is really for me or if I am a little. I feel drawn to it, but when I compare it to a Master/slave relationship, they seem like complete opposites—one is strict and intense, while the other is softer and nurturing. I wonder if it's possible to find a balance between both or if they are fundamentally incompatible.
I also want to understand the psychological aspect of this. I am a very sensitive person with low self-esteem, and sometimes I need a lot of affection and validation to feel good. I like the idea of having someone who makes decisions for me, guides me when I feel lost, and helps me manage my emotions. But at the same time, I want to feel humiliated, completely controlled, and experience strict power.
I also want to fully understand the DDLG dynamic. I know the basics, but I’d love to learn more about its rules, structure, and how it develops emotionally in a relationship. I’m not sure if I truly fit into that role or if I just like the idea of it.
Some of my questions are:
Can a Master/slave relationship be combined with DDLG without contradicting each other?
How can I know if I am really a little or if I just like the idea?
What are the main differences between submission in DDLG and submission in a Master/slave relationship?
From a psychological perspective, what kind of personality fits better with each of these dynamics?
How does DDLG work in practice? What are the roles and expectations?
Has anyone had a similar experience and can share how they navigated it?
I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences. I’m just trying to learn more about myself and understand what I truly want in this dynamic.
Thanks in advance!
I currently have a Dominant, but our relationship is long-distance, so we haven't explored much in practice. The dynamic we have in mind is Master/slave, which interests me, but at the same time, I feel a strong curiosity about DDLG.
My Read more…dilemma is that I don't know if DDLG is really for me or if I am a little. I feel drawn to it, but when I compare it to a Master/slave relationship, they seem like complete opposites—one is strict and intense, while the other is softer and nurturing. I wonder if it's possible to find a balance between both or if they are fundamentally incompatible.
I also want to understand the psychological aspect of this. I am a very sensitive person with low self-esteem, and sometimes I need a lot of affection and validation to feel good. I like the idea of having someone who makes decisions for me, guides me when I feel lost, and helps me manage my emotions. But at the same time, I want to feel humiliated, completely controlled, and experience strict power.
I also want to fully understand the DDLG dynamic. I know the basics, but I’d love to learn more about its rules, structure, and how it develops emotionally in a relationship. I’m not sure if I truly fit into that role or if I just like the idea of it.
Some of my questions are:
Can a Master/slave relationship be combined with DDLG without contradicting each other?
How can I know if I am really a little or if I just like the idea?
What are the main differences between submission in DDLG and submission in a Master/slave relationship?
From a psychological perspective, what kind of personality fits better with each of these dynamics?
How does DDLG work in practice? What are the roles and expectations?
Has anyone had a similar experience and can share how they navigated it?
I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences. I’m just trying to learn more about myself and understand what I truly want in this dynamic.
Thanks in advance!
LikeJanie-W, aLittlebitStoned, freyainthenorthand 31 more… · 37 Replies
Windwolf ➦Windwolf quote Windwolf:❝I continue to be amazed at how many people think things are like Master/slave dynamic when nothing is like M/s dynamics. People only imagine that because they are imagining what they think M/s is like.
A Master is the person who owns and controls enslaved individuals, Read more… exercising absolute power over their lives.
A slave is owned and treated as property, ***d to work against their will, and deprived of personal liberty, with their location and work dictated by their Master.
Slaves voluntarily submit themselves to their Master. That is their final decision as long as the two remain in their agreement.
Slaves do not get to be anything. They are told what to be by their Master.
Slaves do not get to be brats, littles, switches, or anything else. Everything that the slave does , thinks, acts or believes is dictated by the Master.
Playing at M/s online alone , hardly qualifies as experience in the Master/slave dynamic.
Slaves do not question their Masters leadership or authority. If the slave has a question, they ask for permission to ask their question.
For me personally, I always make sure that, especially after training sessions the slave has a question and answer period. I do this because the best time to have Q&A is when things are fresh on ones mind.
Some people believe that the M/s dynamic is cruel because they do not understand the need of the slave simply to be owned.
If you are submissive and you do not have a burning need to be owned, then you are a sub and not a slave.
To be a slave, being "owned" is an essential part of the dynamic
I know that there are libraries of writing's out there telling how to mix M/s dynamics with other dynamics.
The problem is those people have never lived in a M/s dynamic.
This dynamic must be in a real life environment. Otherwise, how can you control a slave you can't have in your presence 24/7?
How can my slave prepare my food, clean my clothes ,kneel at my feet and warm my bed Otherwise?
The BDSM lifestyle no matter what dynamic people choose to be in isn't just an online role playing game or a bedroom fetish fulfillment. That's simply what it's been reduced to by people who are afraid to live their lives like that.
But for goodness sake, stop twist things that you have never experienced into something you "believe" they may be. If you don't know how something works, ask someone who actually knows. And for those answering, don't answer someone's serious questions with answers that you think you know.
Alternative lifestyles are just that. Not Alternative RPGs. Answers matter because someone out there has just entered into a R/L dynamic and the real answers matter. ❞
No matter how we want to make something work. Just because we put two things together doesn't mean that fit.
I am a fully trained Traveling Chef and I assure you that if I caught a Chef putting Tabasco sauce on Chocolate Mousse, that Chef would be unemployed immediately.
Unfortunately, too many people give advice on things that they have no knowledge or background in.
I have seen people who identify themselves as slaves also identifying as brats. Fact is, slaves do not get to decide if they are brats or not.
Subs submit to submission. Slaves consent to ownership. There's a hell of a difference.
Slaves are not submissive. They are property.
Unfortunately, a lot of people think they know what Master and slave dynamics are.
For those who really want an idea of what it's really like, visit the Master Slave Conference on Fetlife.
You will find very few people there that are under 50 years old. That's for two reasons. One, successful M/s dynamics are 24/7 real life .
Two, M/s dynamics tend to be life time commitments.
While there are variations in M/s dynamics, they still fit inside the dynamic.
Giving something a name that you want it to be, does not mean that it actually applies.
Sometimes it seems to me that lately, it's more important what people call themselves than what they do.
So what kind of Master would own a slave that was a little girl?
A Daddy Master that owned a little girl? Exactly how would a little girl manage to fulfill all of the duties that a slave is required performance?
So would the slave stop being a slave and just become a sub instead?
What happens to the Masters ownership then?
Masters are dominant in the actual meaning of the word. And slaves are submissive in the actual meaning of the word.
But Doms are not Masters in the definition of that word. And subs are not slaves in the definition of that word.
Unfortunately, it seems that rather than discovering what they are, some people try to pick something out of the air.
Look, most of us know that some emotional issues at some point set our directions in kink.
To me it's as important why we want something as much as what we want.
A healthy designed platform can help extensively to promote growth.
Creating a confusing relationship produces confusing results.
A Master is the person who owns and controls enslaved individuals, Read more… exercising absolute power over their lives.
A slave is owned and treated as property, ***d to work against their will, and deprived of personal liberty, with their location and work dictated by their Master.
Slaves voluntarily submit themselves to their Master. That is their final decision as long as the two remain in their agreement.
Slaves do not get to be anything. They are told what to be by their Master.
Slaves do not get to be brats, littles, switches, or anything else. Everything that the slave does , thinks, acts or believes is dictated by the Master.
Playing at M/s online alone , hardly qualifies as experience in the Master/slave dynamic.
Slaves do not question their Masters leadership or authority. If the slave has a question, they ask for permission to ask their question.
For me personally, I always make sure that, especially after training sessions the slave has a question and answer period. I do this because the best time to have Q&A is when things are fresh on ones mind.
Some people believe that the M/s dynamic is cruel because they do not understand the need of the slave simply to be owned.
If you are submissive and you do not have a burning need to be owned, then you are a sub and not a slave.
To be a slave, being "owned" is an essential part of the dynamic
I know that there are libraries of writing's out there telling how to mix M/s dynamics with other dynamics.
The problem is those people have never lived in a M/s dynamic.
This dynamic must be in a real life environment. Otherwise, how can you control a slave you can't have in your presence 24/7?
How can my slave prepare my food, clean my clothes ,kneel at my feet and warm my bed Otherwise?
The BDSM lifestyle no matter what dynamic people choose to be in isn't just an online role playing game or a bedroom fetish fulfillment. That's simply what it's been reduced to by people who are afraid to live their lives like that.
But for goodness sake, stop twist things that you have never experienced into something you "believe" they may be. If you don't know how something works, ask someone who actually knows. And for those answering, don't answer someone's serious questions with answers that you think you know.
Alternative lifestyles are just that. Not Alternative RPGs. Answers matter because someone out there has just entered into a R/L dynamic and the real answers matter. ❞
No matter how we want to make something work. Just because we put two things together doesn't mean that fit.
I am a fully trained Traveling Chef and I assure you that if I caught a Chef putting Tabasco sauce on Chocolate Mousse, that Chef would be unemployed immediately.
Unfortunately, too many people give advice on things that they have no knowledge or background in.
I have seen people who identify themselves as slaves also identifying as brats. Fact is, slaves do not get to decide if they are brats or not.
Subs submit to submission. Slaves consent to ownership. There's a hell of a difference.
Slaves are not submissive. They are property.
Unfortunately, a lot of people think they know what Master and slave dynamics are.
For those who really want an idea of what it's really like, visit the Master Slave Conference on Fetlife.
You will find very few people there that are under 50 years old. That's for two reasons. One, successful M/s dynamics are 24/7 real life .
Two, M/s dynamics tend to be life time commitments.
While there are variations in M/s dynamics, they still fit inside the dynamic.
Giving something a name that you want it to be, does not mean that it actually applies.
Sometimes it seems to me that lately, it's more important what people call themselves than what they do.
So what kind of Master would own a slave that was a little girl?
A Daddy Master that owned a little girl? Exactly how would a little girl manage to fulfill all of the duties that a slave is required performance?
So would the slave stop being a slave and just become a sub instead?
What happens to the Masters ownership then?
Masters are dominant in the actual meaning of the word. And slaves are submissive in the actual meaning of the word.
But Doms are not Masters in the definition of that word. And subs are not slaves in the definition of that word.
Unfortunately, it seems that rather than discovering what they are, some people try to pick something out of the air.
Look, most of us know that some emotional issues at some point set our directions in kink.
To me it's as important why we want something as much as what we want.
A healthy designed platform can help extensively to promote growth.
Creating a confusing relationship produces confusing results.
Like
· 02.04.2025 3:12:59
TheDarkKnight79 In short, yes.
If there's no evidence of it or if there's no examples, be the example.
No two BDSM relationship dynamics are completely identical. There are literally infinite gradations and nuances. The permutations are endless.
I'm a (partially) trained Chef. I like to view BDSM elements in Read more… terms of cooking. The key fundamentals to cooking is expressionism, experimentation, and creativity. Is those three pillars didnt play a part in the cooking process then we'd all be eating grains, nuts, berries, etc.
The biggest and most common advice that I would give to anyone, in any type of relationship and dynamic, is communication. Talk about it. Get into the weeds and flesh out what kind of dynamic that your hybrid of Master/slave - DDlg would look like and discuss and dissect every minute layer of it.
I'm a sapiosexual as well as a psychological Dom, so I would view the aforementioned process as incredibly erotic. I would also use it as a bonding exercise.
And that's exactly what it is. Just imagine how things would be after you've "cooked" your unique BDSM dish.
That dynamic would be owned and lived entirely by you and your Dom.
That, to me, is the epitome of what can make a BDSM relationship so beautiful.
If there's no evidence of it or if there's no examples, be the example.
No two BDSM relationship dynamics are completely identical. There are literally infinite gradations and nuances. The permutations are endless.
I'm a (partially) trained Chef. I like to view BDSM elements in Read more… terms of cooking. The key fundamentals to cooking is expressionism, experimentation, and creativity. Is those three pillars didnt play a part in the cooking process then we'd all be eating grains, nuts, berries, etc.
The biggest and most common advice that I would give to anyone, in any type of relationship and dynamic, is communication. Talk about it. Get into the weeds and flesh out what kind of dynamic that your hybrid of Master/slave - DDlg would look like and discuss and dissect every minute layer of it.
I'm a sapiosexual as well as a psychological Dom, so I would view the aforementioned process as incredibly erotic. I would also use it as a bonding exercise.
And that's exactly what it is. Just imagine how things would be after you've "cooked" your unique BDSM dish.
That dynamic would be owned and lived entirely by you and your Dom.
That, to me, is the epitome of what can make a BDSM relationship so beautiful.
LikeSubmissive_summer
· 01.04.2025 22:40:50
Windwolf I continue to be amazed at how many people think things are like Master/slave dynamic when nothing is like M/s dynamics. People only imagine that because they are imagining what they think M/s is like.
A Master is the person who owns and controls enslaved individuals, exercising absolute power Read more… over their lives.
A slave is owned and treated as property, ***d to work against their will, and deprived of personal liberty, with their location and work dictated by their Master.
Slaves voluntarily submit themselves to their Master. That is their final decision as long as the two remain in their agreement.
Slaves do not get to be anything. They are told what to be by their Master.
Slaves do not get to be brats, littles, switches, or anything else. Everything that the slave does , thinks, acts or believes is dictated by the Master.
Playing at M/s online alone , hardly qualifies as experience in the Master/slave dynamic.
Slaves do not question their Masters leadership or authority. If the slave has a question, they ask for permission to ask their question.
For me personally, I always make sure that, especially after training sessions the slave has a question and answer period. I do this because the best time to have Q&A is when things are fresh on ones mind.
Some people believe that the M/s dynamic is cruel because they do not understand the need of the slave simply to be owned.
If you are submissive and you do not have a burning need to be owned, then you are a sub and not a slave.
To be a slave, being "owned" is an essential part of the dynamic
I know that there are libraries of writing's out there telling how to mix M/s dynamics with other dynamics.
The problem is those people have never lived in a M/s dynamic.
This dynamic must be in a real life environment. Otherwise, how can you control a slave you can't have in your presence 24/7?
How can my slave prepare my food, clean my clothes ,kneel at my feet and warm my bed Otherwise?
The BDSM lifestyle no matter what dynamic people choose to be in isn't just an online role playing game or a bedroom fetish fulfillment. That's simply what it's been reduced to by people who are afraid to live their lives like that.
But for goodness sake, stop twist things that you have never experienced into something you "believe" they may be. If you don't know how something works, ask someone who actually knows. And for those answering, don't answer someone's serious questions with answers that you think you know.
Alternative lifestyles are just that. Not Alternative RPGs. Answers matter because someone out there has just entered into a R/L dynamic and the real answers matter.
A Master is the person who owns and controls enslaved individuals, exercising absolute power Read more… over their lives.
A slave is owned and treated as property, ***d to work against their will, and deprived of personal liberty, with their location and work dictated by their Master.
Slaves voluntarily submit themselves to their Master. That is their final decision as long as the two remain in their agreement.
Slaves do not get to be anything. They are told what to be by their Master.
Slaves do not get to be brats, littles, switches, or anything else. Everything that the slave does , thinks, acts or believes is dictated by the Master.
Playing at M/s online alone , hardly qualifies as experience in the Master/slave dynamic.
Slaves do not question their Masters leadership or authority. If the slave has a question, they ask for permission to ask their question.
For me personally, I always make sure that, especially after training sessions the slave has a question and answer period. I do this because the best time to have Q&A is when things are fresh on ones mind.
Some people believe that the M/s dynamic is cruel because they do not understand the need of the slave simply to be owned.
If you are submissive and you do not have a burning need to be owned, then you are a sub and not a slave.
To be a slave, being "owned" is an essential part of the dynamic
I know that there are libraries of writing's out there telling how to mix M/s dynamics with other dynamics.
The problem is those people have never lived in a M/s dynamic.
This dynamic must be in a real life environment. Otherwise, how can you control a slave you can't have in your presence 24/7?
How can my slave prepare my food, clean my clothes ,kneel at my feet and warm my bed Otherwise?
The BDSM lifestyle no matter what dynamic people choose to be in isn't just an online role playing game or a bedroom fetish fulfillment. That's simply what it's been reduced to by people who are afraid to live their lives like that.
But for goodness sake, stop twist things that you have never experienced into something you "believe" they may be. If you don't know how something works, ask someone who actually knows. And for those answering, don't answer someone's serious questions with answers that you think you know.
Alternative lifestyles are just that. Not Alternative RPGs. Answers matter because someone out there has just entered into a R/L dynamic and the real answers matter.
Like
· 31.03.2025 7:05:48
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Thank you