Am I too Vanilla

[Deleted Member]

I honestly feel like I'm the only one here who doesn't like being dominated or is dominant.I mean to each their own but I've met a lot of people shaming me for not being into BDSM honest question here is that so uncommon?

[Do****]

This a bdsm site.... So you obviously downloaded the wrong app

[Ma****]

It's a bdsm app so unfortunately there's gonna be alot of ppl surprised & rude to you for not being interested in it. The whole app is based around kinks... perhaps you'd be more comfortable in a dating app or if you just wanted sex that's not kinky idk if tinder is still a thing or I've used Craigslist in the past maybe check into those? Goodluck!

[gi****]

Everyone has there own levels of curiosity of BDSM nothing says you have to dive head first into all of it right away those who shame because of it are irritating to say the least. You being yourself is all anyone should ever try to achieve

[ThePhoenix]

No, this is a fetish site for kinksters. Those that have weird and wonderful fetish or are kinky. You don't have to be into BDSM to join this site and those that have shamed you, shouldn't be here. This is a free non non-judgmental social site for kinksters.
Now, if you're totally vanilla, then you're on the wrong site.

Edited December 11, 2024 by ThePhoenix

[Ma****]

lol

[Su****]

There is no actual line of being “too” vanilla! Your kink is unique to you. Nobody has the right to judge you or shame you over whatever boundary you set.

[sp****]

8 minutes ago, Sumito said:

There is no actual line of being “too” vanilla! Your kink is unique to you. Nobody has the right to judge you or shame you over whatever boundary you set.

Yes! everyone's different; as long as you're not hurting one, and everyone participating is a consenting adult, who cares what you're into?

[he****]

Insecure people that rather tear you down then build you up. Has nothing to do with this app, this is a “ people” issue not fet app. Sorry to hear this though, just keep staying true to yourself and their is nothing better or more attractive than that quality.

[Deleted Member]

I guess I did download the wrong app.It didn't say it was a BDSM app in the description just a kink app.I think people should be aware that there are other kinks outside BDSM for the record but if it is for BDSM yeah I agree with you.

[Deleted Member]

26 minutes ago, MasochisticPuppy24 said:

It's a bdsm app so unfortunately there's gonna be alot of ppl surprised & rude to you for not being interested in it. The whole app is based around kinks... perhaps you'd be more comfortable in a dating app or if you just wanted sex that's not kinky idk if tinder is still a thing or I've used Craigslist in the past maybe check into those? Goodluck!

I'm not not into kinks I'm just not interested in that kink.But now that I know I'll probably find something else.

[Sc****]

Nah, ignore that shit. Plenty here who just like to go about things their own way without fitting into some role. Some of the freakiest, kinkiest, people I've ever known eschew the title of "dom", "sub", what have you.

[Deleted Member]

32 minutes ago, Dom4fun92 said:

This a bdsm site.... So you obviously downloaded the wrong app

Wasn't made known in the description it just said it was a kink app.

[Deleted Member]

Yes everyone is unique. But I have to ask why are you on a bdsm app if you’re not into bdsm?

[My****]

If it bothers you that much and it's making you question or consider going vanilla maybe that's what you need to do but don't lose sight of what it is that you want

[ThePhoenix]

Fetish.com  not BDSM.com It's in the name ***ps.   

Yes, BDSM is one of the biggest subjects on this app. But this app is for Kinksters and those who have a fetish - 

[Deleted Member]

6 minutes ago, tathree78 said:

Yes everyone is unique. But I have to ask why are you on a bdsm app if you’re not into bdsm?

As I stated previously when I was recommended the app it said it was a kink app NOT a BDSM app.

[Deleted Member]

You’re not alone. If I had a BDSM definition it would be requesting a gentle Female Dom.

I don’t like *** or ***, but I’m not going to yuk anyone else’s yum.

But I do like talking to other people who are into their favorite type of BDSM. It’s impressive to hear people discuss their kink calmly and kindly all while telling you some of the wildest things you’ve ever heard, so far.

I’d say my biggest kink is seeing real pleasure. But pleasure that is not expected, just experienced. An orgasm alone, for me, is not a requirement as a sign of quality play time.

[jc****]

31 minutes ago, tathree78 said:

Yes everyone is unique. But I have to ask why are you on a bdsm app if you’re not into bdsm?

This is not a BDSM app. BDSM is an umbrella term for bondage, discipline and sado-masocihsm. The middle two can also be swapped out for Domination/Submission.

BDSM is just one single part of kink. There is plenty more out there, and all your question does is indicate that you lack knowledge about kink.

[jc****]

Just to clarify here, this is a kink app. BDSM is not the only form of kink, though it tends to be the most common one that people in the community ascribe to.

BDSM is one part of kink and fetish, but there are many things outside of it that exist without being vanilla.

[Deleted Member]

BDSM stands for Bondage Discipline Sadism and Masochism. Dominance and submission fall under Discipline but bleed into the other three letters. There are plenty of fetishes that don't fall under the BDSM umbrella.

[Deleted Member]

Why are you on a BDSM site if you aren't into BDSM?

[Ar****]

Ignore the people giving you grief. The clue is in the name "Fetish" dot com - not BDSM dot com. The app plugs itself, as you rightly say, as a "kinky" app rather than a BDSM one. And as others have already said, BDSM is just one aspect of this community that not everyone ascribes to.

A key foundation to this community - and this WAS a community site long before it ever had an app or so much emphasis placed on dating - is an open-minded lack of judgement. We frown upon shaming here.

I'm sorry you've been treated this way. Keep being you, and you'll find your tribe. Good luck.

[ja****]

No such thing as to vanilla, I totally get what you mean, I’m much more a sensualist then strictly Dom/sub. My kinks are less about a power dynamic then how it makes me feel for example I love watersports but I hate being degraded and I can top or bottom for that. It’s the main issue with BDSM being often used as a short hand for the wider kink community

[Ta****]

There’s no rule that says you have to be dominant or submissive. You can just be kinky without being either.