Secret life of a solo sub: Creeps.

[Deleted Member]

I suppose to a degree it's to be expected that on any dating site you're going to get your fair share of creepy messages and random dick pics.  Generally, I find most creeps show their colours from the start.  "Fancy a shag?" Um, no thanks. *block* "Wanna see some porn?" I have an internet connection, thanks.  *block* 

But then there are the guys who are far more subtle.  So subtle, in fact, that you struggle to put a finger on what exactly they're doing that makes you feel icky.  Trust that gut instinct!

I've had interactions with subtle gaslighters (I'm not pointing fingers at any one person).  They started by giving the sob story about how they struggle to find folks to talk to who "get" them.  Laying the groundwork for the guilt trips if they "accidentally step over the line".  

Now...I know that by writing my "secret life" posts I'm putting myself in a bit of a spotlight.  But I write these for two reasons.  One is to sort of organise my thoughts along this journey of self-discovery.  The other is to learn from the feedback I get from others.  And most of the feedback has been brilliant.  

However, there are some folks who have read these posts as an invitation to behave as though they already know me.  I assure you, you don't.  So for clarification, henceforth anyone contacting me with the following will likely get an automatic block:

"I saw what you posted about xyz and clearly you are into ... and I'm the one who can provide it."

If your profile is clearly that of a couple and I tell you I'm not interested in being your unicorn but you still start asking me about my kinks.

For that matter, if you ask me about my kinks before wanting to know anything about me as a basic human being.

If your first message is, "Hello gorgeous." (or beautiful, sexy, sweetheart, or any other such terminology...)

If you call me a "Good girl" before we've established any kind of rapport.

If you tell me what I'm into.  "I know deep down you really need someone to..."

If you immediately want to switch to another forum. "Kik, WhatsApp, messenger?"

If you can't engage in any real conversation but tell me after the first few messages that you're "being patient" with me.

Also...I'm a sub.  I've made that clear on my profile.  No, I'm not interested in becoming your Domme.  READ MY PROFILE BEFORE CONTACTING ME!!!

I'm sure there are so many more examples.  I'm curious, though...what other glaringly obvious red flags other people can think of?

[Wo****]

"Your tits are amazing. Perfect for this hard cock"

"Hello mistress"

"Please can I serve you"

"Do you have kik"

"I need to fuck you"

 

 

Reading my messages is a new hobby tbh. 

Some of them really do make me wonder about people.

 

 

[Deleted Member]

The put down type message is one I've seen sent to female friends. Sort of along the lines of "you know I'm not normally into girls like you because (blank) but I don't mind it with you"
Or "Normally I don't chat to girls who are (blank) but I'm willing to look past that as I'm such a nice guy" 🙄 🤮

[Deleted Member]

5 minutes ago, LazyPiratesBounty said:

"Your tits are amazing. Perfect for this hard cock"

"Hello mistress"

"Please can I serve you"

"Do you have kik"

"I need to fuck you"

 

 

Reading my messages is a new hobby tbh. 

Some of them really do make me wonder about people.

 

 

I literally just got, "Primal Eh?  I bet that's hot." moments after posting this topic.

[Wo****]

Oh dear god!

See???

Fun, isn't it? 😆

 

 

 

We need a "crap message of the day" thread!

[Deleted Member]

6 minutes ago, MaskedDom said:

The put down type message is one I've seen sent to female friends. Sort of along the lines of "you know I'm not normally into girls like you because (blank) but I don't mind it with you"
Or "Normally I don't chat to girls who are (blank) but I'm willing to look past that as I'm such a nice guy" 🙄 🤮

Oh God!  I'm glad I've not had any of those yet!  I'm a sub, but still have a Taurean temper...mixed with a very sharp tongue when angered.  I might verbally take their nuts off before blocking if they did that!

[Deleted Member]

🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

[Wo****]

7 minutes ago, J_Darkmoon said:

Oh God!  I'm glad I've not had any of those yet!  I'm a sub, but still have a Taurean temper...mixed with a very sharp tongue when angered.  I might verbally take their nuts off before blocking if they did that!

Sods law says they'll be into that!

[Deleted Member]

6 minutes ago, J_Darkmoon said:

Oh God!  I'm glad I've not had any of those yet!  I'm a sub, but still have a Taurean temper...mixed with a very sharp tongue when angered.  I might verbally take their nuts off before blocking if they did that!

Lol well I'm glad to hear it. It is crazy to see some of the ridiculous comments posted on people's profiles. Often saying "hey message me" ect despite them not saying anything else about themselves.

Honestly these twats are so annoying and unfortunately scare a lot of people off from sites like this but that's why it's good to post things like this so people who are new can see it's not normal and these guys are just the rejects.

[Deleted Member]

3 minutes ago, LazyPiratesBounty said:

Sods law says they'll be into that!

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Jed]

Great post and one for lots of folk new to this lifestyle...i always look at it from a perspective of " would you engage in conversation with a stranger in this manner in a public venue" if your opening gambit is any of the aforementioned one liners or subtle heart string pulling tall tales then this post us aimed very much at You!!!!
At the heart of everything we do in this lifestyle is communicate clearly honestly and truthfully we build trust through this and establish a base line for our choosen path...if you clearly have one goal in mind and that's just to fuck your way through life then I'm guessing failure will be your constant companion...
The kink world is evolving and the way in which we communicate dictates many of the outcomes we see here, common courtesy for the whole doesn't go a miss and getting to know a person isn't a chore, it allows growth, builds bond's and develops relationships with a strong base line of knowledge.
The reason people have profiles is to communicate desires, intentions, aspirations and allow a certain insight into the person they are, READ PROFILES!!!!!!!!
RED FLAGS well anyone who can't manage the above!!!!
But seriously negativity should be avoided at all costs !!!!

[Wo****]

I'm all for the direct, honest approach but "I'm horny. Fancy a fuck?" Is hardly inspiring, is it?

We may be ministers, we may be submissive but we deserve, and expect respect and good old manners.

[Deleted Member]

I thought I was the only person who felt or even thought this way. But one thing I can't stand is when they send you a dick pic without even asking. Like I'm honestly wanting to see it unless I ask. And even have the nerve to ask "what do you think"? Obviously its a dick. I'm not going to praise you for having what God gave you and what half the ppl here have. And if I don't answer your messages right away, I do have a life outside of this. If I'm not getting paid to be on this site then it's not going to be on top of my priorities.

[Deleted Member]

Compared to other kink sites, Fetish is super polite! But it irritates me when I get messages addressed to me as though I’m a domme. Or from 4,000 miles away. My profile clearly states what I am and who I’m looking for! I get a lot of younger newbie doms “asking for advice”. I give people the benefit of the doubt, but I have been played a lot.

[Wi****]

Well written, as a Dom myself, with a very good sub, I to get annoyed when someone says, have you got kik or such like, or want *** to be my dom, anyway, well done, before I go on to much.

[Deleted Member]

People automatically assuming they know you is a huge bug bear of mine, I am polite at first but they sharp get blocked or told where to go if they insist they know exactly what I am looking for. 

I am always pointing people to go back and actually read my profile, its as plain as the nose on my face what I am, what I am in to and why I am here. I don't want to see a dick pic, I'm 41, I know what 1 looks like, if I feel the need to look at one I live with 1. Yes I have images of my boobs on my profile, however, most are private and I don't send them to randoms asking them if they can do owt with them.

Some of the more savvy members apologise it's the members that try to be persistant that *** me off.

It was one of the (many) reasons I left 2 year ago. However I've come back with more bite that a snapping turtle so if they want to try and tell me they know me better than I know myself then let them try 😁😁

Edited March 12, 2020 by Deleted Member
Typo

[Wo****]

1 hour ago, LazyPiratesBounty said:

I'm all for the direct, honest approach but "I'm horny. Fancy a fuck?" Is hardly inspiring, is it?

We may be ministers, we may be submissive but we deserve, and expect respect and good old manners.

Ministers???

🤔🙄😆

[azreark1]

Interesting topic.  So even though i'm a guy, i'll be the first to say (not like y'all don't already know) that guys are fucking pigs.  Guys (and this is of course generalized) find women and sex as an endgame, something to be conquered and move on, hence the short "hey wanna fuck" lines, if they're good with rejection, as most are, they'll take your No and move on to the next.  For me, the real conquest is the adventure, the road it takes to get to the endgame, because in those situations you've usually made a friend for life AND there's a high probability of repeated adventures.  I personally love the conversation on that road, I like going from topic to topic, the funny moments when you're on a certain topic and there's a funny story attached.  I do applaud y'all for what you put up with, I had hooked up with a girl about a month back and we both sat there and drank and laughed going through her messages reading the stupid shit she gets...So there's me winning the endgame because i'm with the girl while others are stopped dead cold at the Inbox, all because I just try to have a conversation.

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, LazyPiratesBounty said:

I'm all for the direct, honest approach but "I'm horny. Fancy a fuck?" Is hardly inspiring, is it?

We may be ministers, we may be submissive but we deserve, and expect respect and good old manners.

Exactly as my mother taught me manners don't cost a thing. 

 

1 hour ago, Curvykate said:

Compared to other kink sites, Fetish is super polite! But it irritates me when I get messages addressed to me as though I’m a domme. Or from 4,000 miles away. My profile clearly states what I am and who I’m looking for! I get a lot of younger newbie doms “asking for advice”. I give people the benefit of the doubt, but I have been played a lot.

I agree that Fetish is very polite. When I joined I was quiet and cautious as I've been on other sites with a more competitive atmosphere amount Doms which I think is foolish.

However I find this site very welcoming which also helps to show newbies the difference between the real deal and the fakes with their damn dicks out. 

[Carnelian2]

"I am not here very often, as I lead a busy life, so here is my gmail account" ...

"I am looking for a slave" and after a few messages "you will need to buy your own equipment from this special shop" 

.. and all the others

Thank for some great shares

[Vulkan69]

*heavy breathing intensifies *