Disabled friendly kink

[st****]

Does anyone have any advice about doing kink and sexual things while disabled? I don't have a diagnosis yet but I struggle having sex bc when I don't breathe normally I pass out or come close to it, I get dizzy and tired quickly, and I can't move to lots of positions or go for very long bc of joint ***, I can't lean on my hands too long, I get claustrophobic easily, and these aren't connected to my disability but I'm a one and done when it comes to orgasms, and i can't do vaginal penetration. I struggle finding partners and things that I can do because of everything, and it's really starting to weigh on me. Any ideas?

[Sp****]

I have a disability as well, but fortunately for me it doesn’t have much impact on kink directly so I don’t have much input :/. I can empathize with the life impact generally but not the sexual impact

[Th****]

There are definitely resources for kinksters with disabilities and kink/bdsm isn't inherently sexual either. I know I've seen classes and seminars listed in the events on fetlife specifically about disabilities in kink but I can't remember who the organizers or educators were right off the top of my head. I would have to go look and try to remember to return and update who to search. Offhand I know Morgan Thorne has at least one video on her YouTube channel discussing working with disabilities. 

[sp****]

Maybe a sex swing or a sex chair. Explore oral and orgasms thru anal. Your really cute

[Ma****]

Everyone has an imagination, needs, fantasies they would like to fulfill. Your disability should not stop you from doing whatever it is you want to do, communicate with your play partner what works best for you and what is most comfortable for you and take it from there

[bo****]

I'm going to reframe your post "hey there I'm a fun disabled person seeking a partner to explore kink! I'm pretty low maintenance - you only need to get me off once!, I don't need a lot of positions to make me happy - I know what I like, and I'd love to discover more that are easy on me. Choking is definitely a hard limit. I love hugs but I'm somehow claustrophobic (tell me you have a cure and you'll have my heart!)so like they say - Handle with care! I can't do vaginal penetration, please come prepared to show me how to give you pleasure ;) look forward to hearing from you!"

Lots of disabled people get their freak on, I'm sure it's only a matter of time before you find the right person for you!

[sl****]

Like others have said, it's all about finding a good person who's willing to be patient and work with you. As much as it's their pleasure, it's yours too :)

[st****]

7 minutes ago, boston437724 said:

I'm going to reframe your post "hey there I'm a fun disabled person seeking a partner to explore kink! I'm pretty low maintenance - you only need to get me off once!, I don't need a lot of positions to make me happy - I know what I like, and I'd love to discover more that are easy on me. Choking is definitely a hard limit. I love hugs but I'm somehow claustrophobic (tell me you have a cure and you'll have my heart!)so like they say - Handle with care! I can't do vaginal penetration, please come prepared to show me how to give you pleasure ;) look forward to hearing from you!"

Lots of disabled people get their freak on, I'm sure it's only a matter of time before you find the right person for you!

Thank you! I'm not very nice to myself I don't like her very much lol but I'm trying!

[Th****]

Oh hey! It looks like there's a virtual seminar via zoom on exactly this at the end of the month. If you go to fetlife and search the events, the event name is "Discovering Disabled Deviance" and the organization hosting is House_Exeter which has a decent reputation 

 

[Master_Gene]

Try to get them to give you oxygen and it sounds that you're orgasming very hard, too

[st****]

4 minutes ago, ThaliaV said:

Oh hey! It looks like there's a virtual seminar via zoom on exactly this at the end of the month. If you go to fetlife and search the events, the event name is "Discovering Disabled Deviance" and the organization hosting is House_Exeter which has a decent reputation 

 

Omggg thank you!!

[Th****]

Just now, stardust120 said:

Omggg thank you!!

You're super welcome. 😁

[Si****]

Okay so first and foremost check your O2 levels the other thing you might want to check out is your heart rate because if your heart gets up to 150 beats per minute that cause light-headedness. It could all so contribute to other health problems

[No****]

Arthritis website has some good position ideas for having sex. I’m disabled too. Before a session I tell my Dom of any areas that particularly hurt that day. During a session he regularly checks in and I say if anything isn’t working. We are looking at working on a traffic light system to use during play. Good luck

[st****]

6 hours ago, Sith_happens said:

Okay so first and foremost check your O2 levels the other thing you might want to check out is your heart rate because if your heart gets up to 150 beats per minute that cause light-headedness. It could all so contribute to other health problems

Yeah my heart rate is like 115 resting

[ohmamiplz]

have you considered things in a pool/beach? that is generally my go to for my recommendations for my chronic p a i n (at work) clients, They tend to enjoy that as well as suspension type stuff like a swing and aerial yoga silks

[Th****]

Planning and pillows. It seems like movement is the limiting aspect here. I would recommend leaning into psychological kinks and things that are done more with words. I see that you lean more sub. So maybe performing tasks of worship of body care. You can also try human furniture with propper pillow support and logistical planning. If you're really into something that may make you dizzy have a physical safe word on hand, so if your body feels weaker or you cant/don't want to speak you can drop the heavy item.
All in all, try to focus on physical supports, a swing, a bed, chairs, etc. Happy Hunting!

[bl****]

i can understand where you're coming from p a i n wise, take breaks in between play, use pillows for support or even a swing. your health comes first

[st****]

53 minutes ago, ohmamiplz said:

have you considered things in a pool/beach? that is generally my go to for my recommendations for my chronic p a i n (at work) clients, They tend to enjoy that as well as suspension type stuff like a swing and aerial yoga silks

I loooove pools and being in the water it's so freeing, but I worry about doing sexual things bc the only pools I can think of are public or like the YMCA and I work with kids so I'm hyper ***ful of kids being able to see. I've never tried anything like a swing or suspension, I've tried a hammock and hated it so idk!

[st****]

39 minutes ago, blasphemousbunny said:

i can understand where you're coming from p a i n wise, take breaks in between play, use pillows for support or even a swing. your health comes first

Yeah I just get frustrated bc I want to be "normal" so I tend to try to ignore my issues even when they can't be ignored

[do****]

personally, i only get with partners who are either disabled as well or after debriefing them about my conditions and requirements, they’re understanding and try to do what they can to make everything more comfortable. i take breaks, let them know what positions do and don’t work for me, have snacks on hand, etc. don’t be afraid to speak up and assert your own needs, sex is supposed to be enjoyable and fun for everyone regardless of ability

[st****]

2 hours ago, dogboyprincess said:

personally, i only get with partners who are either disabled as well or after debriefing them about my conditions and requirements, they’re understanding and try to do what they can to make everything more comfortable. i take breaks, let them know what positions do and don’t work for me, have snacks on hand, etc. don’t be afraid to speak up and assert your own needs, sex is supposed to be enjoyable and fun for everyone regardless of ability

I'm afraid of inconveniencing people and having them be frustrated or upset at me, so I struggle to speak up but I'm definitely trying to make sure to get people that understand and won't go too far

[Th****]

11 minutes ago, stardust120 said:

I'm afraid of inconveniencing people and having them be frustrated or upset at me, so I struggle to speak up but I'm definitely trying to make sure to get people that understand and won't go too far

If people are "inconvenienced" by you making sure you're safer and your needs are met then they aren't your people and they can go be frustrated or upset on their own, away from you. 

[ar****]

Any experience with tantric sex? Focusing on your breath and body may be a good thing & that's tied to Tantra a lot.

[st****]

2 hours ago, ThaliaV said:

If people are "inconvenienced" by you making sure you're safer and your needs are met then they aren't your people and they can go be frustrated or upset on their own, away from you. 

That's what I'm trying to ingrain in myself, it really helps when other people say it and it's not just echoing in my brain, thank you!!