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Anyone have tips on getting started as a single guy?

bign1297

By bign1297
in New to BDSM, Kink & Fetish?

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bign1297

bign1297

Posted

Pretty much just the title, I'm just wanting some tips and tricks anyone has for getting started into the community and for finding people to explore with. I've been kind of a lurker watching things from afar but never really having much of an idea of how to get into things and get started myself. 

lo****

lo****

Posted
Don't waste your *** on this app 90% of the women that I chatted with in the month I paid for it were all scammers
Es****

Es****

Posted
Just now, loveseatingpussy68 said:
Don't waste your *** on this app 90% of the women that I chatted with in the month I paid for it were all scammers

Sad but true

Es****

Es****

Posted
Remember if it's seems to be to good to be true. Then it most definitely is and probably a fake and a scammer!
ba****

ba****

Posted
2 minutes ago, Br3tt said:
Show up. Be your sexy self. Know what you want. Don't feed the scammers.

THIS!!!

DeviantInside

DeviantInside

Posted
Ok… my experience for what it is worth. This app is exactly the same as the others I have been on (since 1998 approximately). We all start somewhere and all have plenty to learn. Ask questions, read forums etc… and some of those people will have something to offer. There is no correct way to be sub or Dom… just what works for those involved. Focus on you and what works for you… and then also focus on your interests as a person… and then find someone that you can create a connection with on as many levels as you can.

As I say only my perspective and opinion. But I have had and am currently in a long term relationship for whatever that is worth.
lo****

lo****

Posted
If they ask to do whats app or any other app its a scam if they do text and they live in your area and it not a local number its a scam
sp****

sp****

Posted
questions:
1 - what are the guys claiming it? All is scam still doing here? Masochists?
2 - how do you feed a scammer? What if they’re vegan? Gluten intolerants?
3 - who scam the scammers?
4 - name a classic scam? like you go to a hotel room and discover the girl is Lola? Why would they ask *** for? And who gives *** to unknowns over the Internet nowadays? That’s natural selection.
he****

he****

Posted
Honest communication, learn and know your limits, be open-minded, find your local kink community, networking is just as important as playing, dont let negative experiences or people discourage you, go to your local munches and play parties to learn and socialize, join another website with a name closely resembling this one. I cant say it because it is against this apps policy. Be patient!! I have met my current Dom by complete accident and i have actually played with subs that i actually knew prior without knowing they were in the lifestyle. If possible you could also look for a mentor in your area whether it is a female or male just as long as they have the knowledge and experience in what you are looking for. The kink community is usually pretty welcoming and will be there to guide you. Also, huge difference between people actually in the lifestyle and those who just like kink play. A lot of people on this app use it as kink tinder and not at all a reflection of the lifestyle. Anyways, you have taken the first leap and thats what counts the most. Happy travels :)
MA****

MA****

Posted
Discipline yourself. Get in the gym. Control your eating habits. Work on yourself. Become confident.
The rest will fall in place .
de****

de****

Posted
All of the above is great and true. Be cool, calm and stay collected. Reaching out was the best thing u could have done. Stay diligent and consistent once you find someone. Last but not least, never ask for something your potential playmates arent willing to give, have fun.
Ph****

Ph****

Posted
I am going to put my 2 cents in.
I see a lot say it's us women that are fakes.. not all are fake...
I see fakes on both sides .. but I also see where people are calling people fake just because they got turned down or sometimes it's not about being fake , it's about didn't have a connection with that person.

1. educate yourself..

2. don't share too much of your vanilla privacy..

3. Be careful of scammers and fakes..

4. Learn yourself and put on your profile what you're looking for and be transparent and honest

5. Get active with your kink community and Kink Munches (Social Gatherings).

6. Kink 101 sm classes

7. Never get your education in one place. You don't understand something, look it up.It will eventually direct you towards another site that you can learn from..

P.S. Just be yourself and take you time....
Pa****

Pa****

Posted
The truth is you're going to have to put in a ton of time and effort. Tons of messages. Most women are very unrealistic. Depends on where you live tho. But you're going to have to really search for a long time to find a nice woman to explore with. Or you could just pay for it. Its easier that way sometimes
Daddybrains

Daddybrains

Posted
If your city has a “kink community” or “dungeons,” get on the mailing lists and start going to events and classes.
bo****

bo****

Posted
The fact that you're asking this question means that you're off to a good start! I'd say be sure to have a couple of pictures of you doing a variety of activities (smiling selfie, at an event with friends, etc.). Body pics are good too.

And then put some thought into a good description. Talk about who you are, what you like, what your hobbies are, what you bring to a relationship, what type of relationship you're looking for. Something that can showcase your personality will go a long way!
Goodbicpl

Goodbicpl

Posted
Read profiles carefully, if you’re not compatible, don’t punt or message. Only message people you’re compatible with.

Make sure you don’t have one of those pointless profiles on here that’s blank or set to kinky gifts that say you’re looking to meet but don’t engage with people.

Have a fully completed profile specifying clearly what you’re about, into and looking for. And be prepared to have a face pic on your profile or at least send it when initially messaging.

As for outside of here, go to fetish events and get known a bit. And if you’re a sub male, looking for a Domme female then comprehend the only way that will happen will be to pay for it.
Sp****

Sp****

Posted
After reading all this harsh reality of being a man on a dating app..maybe just quit the app and enjoy your life away from it. It's going to be shit on here
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