No Aftercare

[an****]

Have you done your shadowwork yet?

[Ra****]

Honestly I love the aftercare tbh comforting the sub after a BDSM session I can just revert to my caring, affectionate self.

[Si****]

Those aren't real doms if they aren't treating you with respect and using you. If you want some advice and help navigating how a real Dom should be treating you, i’d be happy to help.

[Ba****]

1 hour ago, 007dom said:

Aftercare is for when a sub goes into subspace. It pulls the sub out and comfort them. Somehow lately Aftercare became the norm After any sexual or session. Not a lot of people know or understand it truly.

Wait, aftercare is as much a part of the intimate interaction as foreplay, what kind of interaction that may be or what states of consciousness people reach during it only changes how extensive it needs to be

Also there are so many positive benefits to practicing it that could be (ab-)used for selfish and manipulative reasons that i‘m half glad and half confused there aren’t more horror stories about people that do it

[si****]

If you haven’t recieved aftercare from a dom than you have not been with a respecting dom. Aftercare is essential

[ra****]

Talk to the potential “Dom” and discuss aftercare if they get silent about it, hedge or they don’t have any options they probably are not a good “Dom”. Most will at least cuddle and offer snacks and hydration.

[BigDaddyCNY]

Aftercare needs should be included in the safe word conversation. It's best to not play with those unwilling to have that talk

[Sl****]

Ghost Princess, aftercare is a very personal choice regarding what type, how much and whether it’s even desired. Everyone, such chats should be essential procedure to make sure what to expect.

Photographing my first sex party, I noticed a level of lack of aftercare and wound up putting my camera down for a while to caress and give attention to someone that I noticed was in a void.

Is it wise to be insistent of whatever attention that you’d want following any kind of physical interaction? I love capturing the intensity when people are building something together. It’s terrific to keep such chats like this present since things can potentially become intense.

As suggestions? For those seeking an ongoing partnership, enjoy some nonsexual intimacy and see how being together feels. There’s never any rush when aftercare helps form trust.

As for play parties… I will be mindful of anyone who needs some TLC as I meet people who plan to play from now on. Photos and videos don’t mean a thing to me if someone needs emotional attention. I like having an empathetic and compassionate spirit & will be mindful to read the vibe of everyone who arrives solo.

[do****]

If no one is giving you aftercare then they are an idiot. Period. State all your needs before any play. If you do not have assurance and confidence that they will fulfill what they agreed to, tell them to kick rocks. Period. There is nothing else to discuss

[Lo****]

Communicate your desires and ***s, you set your own boundaries and if you feel like aftercare is the bare minimum, don’t go for less 😘

[Lo****]

*worries

[Ha****]

The Aftercare is where it's at, but normally that only comes when someone has a remote sense of feeling towards you

[ey****]

Whilst the Dominant should be proactive in offering aftercare (and, for the sake of argument, maybe they did but it wasn't right for your needs hence it not feeling like aftercare) it is also something where you can learn what does work for you.

Raising/discussing aftercare should be part of the pre-play negotiations, especially when new / playing with someone new.

[Ha****]

I think after care is a must wether its just laying enjoying the silence together or being comforted.

[pa****]

I've never really had aftercare and I don't believe it exists. Tbh when potential Dom's start talking about aftercare it's usually something they have learnt when they know nothing else about bdsm. Ask them what subspace is and they will think it's a computer game but yeah they are all about the aftercare.
But sone of the best Dom's I've been with have put me so deep into subspace I'm high out of my mind and I really don't care if they pat me or not.

If you do need aftercare you will definitely need a long-term relationship

[fa****]

I am a believer that aftercare is essential. I know some people that are doms that do not perform aftercare for those they play with but most have someone who care for them after. My wife and I do not do impact play together, unless extremely necessary times, but we do have a good friend that she does impact with and I do her aftercare…but I feel if I did have a person whom I play with I would give aftercare just for that connection..

[Fi****]

„aftercare” isn’t one fixed thing, it’s a label for many very different needs. Before assuming something was missing, it’s worth asking what you actually felt you lacked, if anything at all. The word itself can create a gap that wasn’t there..

[an****]

Strong believer in aftercare

[Ha****]

What does that even mean

[th****]

I think after care can look like many things bassicly just do you feel like you are relaxed. If you need cuddling or pillow talk for that I would definitely have a conversation about it so that feelings dont get hurt

[an****]

Aftercare is the care and attention given after a BDSM scene or intense sexual experience.
BDSM can trigger strong physical and emotional reactions (adrenaline, endorphins, vulnerability). Aftercare helps partners:
Feel safe
Reconnect emotionally
Return to a calm state Examples of Aftercare
Cuddling or physical closeness
Verbal reassurance (“You did great.”)
Water, snacks, blankets
Checking for bruises or rope marks
Quiet time or space (if requested)
Some people experience “sub drop” or “dom drop” — a sudden emotional low after intense play. Aftercare helps reduce this.

[Ha****]

I thought that was just a notmal thing didn’t need a bame or asked for

[Ha****]

Name*

[Ca****]

I think new dons sometimes don’t know about it, and some older dons who are jerks just don’t care. An experienced Dom who is also caring should give it but be honest and talk about it with someone first, don’t ask if they do it, ask what they do to take care of their sub after intense play.

[Es****]

This is a complicated thing because after care means something different to many people. Two of my past subs, after care was me leaving the room to them (they weren't at the same time,) to sort out their feelings and emotions in the after glow of play. A few wanted cuddles, or to be reassured that I didn't mean what was said during (and I'd always say I don't need to talk like that and they would go 'No I want you to talk like that during. I just need reassurance after.')

The main thing is talk to your partner BEFORE play and make sure to express, at least a ball park, of the type of after care you need. I personally need to clean up first, so the need doesn't get damp, gotta sleep on it still. But the bathroom is right there and I'm down to cuddle after a 3-5 minute rinse and dry.

Communication is the absolute most impractical thing in any relationship, especially though in BDSM and/or ENM.