When to give up?

[Deleted Member]

I’ve tried my hardest (at least I feel I have) in finding someone that shares the same interests I do. Hell, a few interests would be nice. My question is when do you decide to just give up looking and just stick with whatever?

[Ki****]

I feel that way also.

[Nu****]

I'm having the very same issue vi hate the process of searching . My advise don't give up you deserve to be happy maybe in the meantime have a so so guy around just to scratch the itch every now and then. Good luck.

[ge****]

The answer can only come from within but if your kink urges are strong and a part of you, them giving up isn't going to be an answer.
.
Only you can decide if you're prepared to compromise on your kink side.
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Perhaps rather than "giving up" maybe come at it from another direction and look at what you can change about your approach to finding what you're looking for - perhaps the style of your messages, adjusting your profile, or the best step I took, getting out to Munches and events not necessarily with a view to meeting "the one" but connecting/networking with others who might lead you there.

[ey****]

it's a question that isn't entirely black and white as it depends wholly on what you're trying to achieve (presumably, find a compatible partner) and also what you've actually been doing so far.

Like, some people *say* they've been trying but all they really did is logged into a couple of sites with a basic profile, messaged some people and hoped for the best.  That's not actually trying.  

On the flip - maybe there are those who are determined and they're on multiple sites, and they spend time when not at a work looking for munches and events to attend, going to any in a reasonable travel distance, then spending nights when there's nothing on trying to further their own knowledge and understanding of kink.  This also doesn't garauntee results, but can result in burnout. It can also result in disappointment if you put too much stock into linking your contentment to finding a partner and not having one.

Really - it is a little easier if you are putting in some effort to reach the goal you're trying to achieve (something you CAN control) without clinging your happiness to something you can't 

 

[Ar****]

Yes I hear you. I keep getting close to what I feel is going to be really promising...only to find out either last moment, or after the meeting, important information that would have altered my decision to meet in the first place.
So irritating 🙄

[Deleted Member]

11 hours ago, KinkyCupCake3386 said:

I feel that way also.

I’m sorry! It definitely sucks!!!

[Deleted Member]

7 hours ago, gemini_man said:

The answer can only come from within but if your kink urges are strong and a part of you, them giving up isn't going to be an answer.
.
Only you can decide if you're prepared to compromise on your kink side.
.
Perhaps rather than "giving up" maybe come at it from another direction and look at what you can change about your approach to finding what you're looking for - perhaps the style of your messages, adjusting your profile, or the best step I took, getting out to Munches and events not necessarily with a view to meeting "the one" but connecting/networking with others who might lead you there.

I will try that. I’m up for trying anything that pushes this closer to what I want. Thanks!

[Deleted Member]

It can be extremely frustrating. I understand the lack of respect for what you are offering, no reciprocation for what you're giving. It can feel like the cliche banging a head on the wall.
If your feeling like that then I do recommend a break. Oddly enough when you stop giving a shit and trowing yourself out there, the fates put someone on your path.

[Deleted Member]

2 minutes ago, SionnachRua said:

It can be extremely frustrating. I understand the lack of respect for what you are offering, no reciprocation for what you're giving. It can feel like the cliche banging a head on the wall.
If your feeling like that then I do recommend a break. Oddly enough when you stop giving a shit and trowing yourself out there, the fates put someone on your path.

Thank you for that!

[Deleted Member]

13 minutes ago, BreathPlayMaster said:

Thank you for that!

My pleasure. I have been there and felt the frustration. If you ever want to talk or bitch a bout things you are welcome to do me.

[Sneak007]

Never give up, ride the storm out.

[Deleted Member]

I felt that way but you will find that person/persons just keep at it. I found my perfect play partner when I wasn't even pursuing her, sometimes it just happens