How do you get over Shame

[ad****]

I still get very flustered when I find kink outside of the spaces I associate it with, I feel like it’s just a time thing where I unlearn the separation of sex from the rest of life I’ve been taught, but I was wondering if anyone had like tricks that helped even a little?

[ep****]

Never be ashamed:)) find somebody who love what u love ❤️

[Da****]

I just try to keep in mind that actually everyone has a kink, almost literally everyone, be it breeding, costume fetishes, choking or age play, it ends up that, especially the prude ones, oh those have the most taboo kinks! So Maybe when you're out in the vanilla world, try to remember you are just the one they can see try to look at them and imagine what kinks they have that they're hiding

[ep****]

I love spitting and rimming… and not everyone likes it.. But i always say what i like :) if we dont match… ok.. for everybody is there somebody ❤️😈😍

[al****]

Also know you are NOT the only one that feels that way too. Just knowing other people also get flustered makes things easier for me.

[Hypnocurious]

Shame, guilt, embarrassment they are all valid feelings and help us to experience what is happening now. If shame is holding you back from having the experience you want, then you can change how you feel.

[Pa****]

Finding other people into it and that do stuff. Even if they’re just friends or on social platforms. It helps tons

[Ki****]

shame is a emotion linked to the subconscious, i’d suggest a quick study on Shadow Work (Carl Yung).. it’s not just about emotional trauma from childhood, but can be linked to adult trauma such as cultural norms.. . heaps of good resources on Utube or online, just use the search term “shadow work” you’ll find a presenter you gel with and know they are of truth.
It’s no great task (shadow work), can be confronting, but the process is straight forward. if the presenter is making is complicated, just move on to the next.
also
The tantrics will tell you, the shame is sitting in your second chakra and this can be released thru deep (cervix. A spot) orgasm, not having a vagina I can’t speak to the truth of this. Apparently ladies feel this as a deep itch near the cervix, before release. would be at least fun trying.

[jj****]

I don’t know how helpful this will be but what helped me was when I took a class in college about human sexuality, we learned that most societies tend to lean either toward making sex taboo or making certain foods taboo. Seeing the different examples of cultures that were more open about sexuality having these crazy rules around certain foods really put it in perspective for me.

As an American, we have no such notions of certain foods just being “evil”. Fast food, yes, but it’s not like there is a specific sandwich that you simply are NOT allowed to be near unless it’s a special occasion.

When I started thinking of sexuality more like food preferences, that’s what helped me let go of some of the shame. Eating and fucking are on the same level and I don’t see anything wrong with eating so… 🤷 maybe there’s nothing wrong with sex either.

[Deleted Member]

3 hours ago, jjbeanbun said:

I don’t know how helpful this will be but what helped me was when I took a class in college about human sexuality, we learned that most societies tend to lean either toward making sex taboo or making certain foods taboo. Seeing the different examples of cultures that were more open about sexuality having these crazy rules around certain foods really put it in perspective for me.

As an American, we have no such notions of certain foods just being “evil”. Fast food, yes, but it’s not like there is a specific sandwich that you simply are NOT allowed to be near unless it’s a special occasion.

When I started thinking of sexuality more like food preferences, that’s what helped me let go of some of the shame. Eating and fucking are on the same level and I don’t see anything wrong with eating so… 🤷 maybe there’s nothing wrong with sex either.

That’s a great way of putting this into perspective! Thank you for sharing

[Wh****]

Ignore it publicly, but find a way to use it and introduce that same feeling into your freaky play.

[Da****]

Yesterday at 06:54 AM, LondonOh said:

Ignore it publicly, but find a way to use it and introduce that same feeling into your freaky play.

Exactly... honey you might be more into then you think. And also find a friend to talk about it with. You gotta have the one special some you can chat too and have a girls night with.

[Si****]

You don’t get over it,or under it, you face it head on and destroy it, so it can never shame you again…💪🏽

[Sk****]

I usually just laugh (quietly/internally) at it, as if i just read a dirty joke. my own kinks arent on display, so why would -I- feel any kind of embarrassment? I dont laugh at it in any cruel kind of way, its just a funny aspect of human nature. Serious feelings about kink are positive and private...well except what i discuss here i guess, but this community is pretty good.

[Ma****]

don’t have regrets or shame from anything that you’ve done in the past ever no matter how bad or how inappropriate or out of character for you that it may have been. Those mistakes that you make is what causes you look back on your life, analyze exam and evaluate how you can take corrective actions in order to make sure that certain actions either never happen again or certain actions are modified so that they will be more efficient. The next time you put them in the practice. However, never ever regret never be ashamed never feel embarrassed because especially in the community. Every single human being has a kink has a fetish whether they are open about it or not their human beings. They have chemicals pumping through their veins and other endorphins and things going through their brain if somebody tells you they have no fetishes, and they have no kinks they are an absolute liar and their lines and no one but themselves, but embrace the past activities the things that you feel like that you are currently ashamed of or you regret or whatever label you want attached to them don’t look at it like that be thankful for them and yeah, like I said, use it as a steppingstone in order to take corrective action within your own personal life so that you can grow and becoming a better wiser smarter more intelligent individual as the future version of yourself. Thanks for listening chat privately if you’d like to talk more.