Popular Post Co**** Posted October 25 Popular Post There’s a lot of conversation in the BDSM community about ownership, but I’m curious how everyone defines it. Is ownership a title? A collar? A set of rules? The right to make decisions? Or is it something much deeper than any of those things? For some, being owned means surrendering control to someone who has earned their trust. It’s the comfort of knowing someone is paying attention, holding you accountable, guiding you when you need direction, and creating a space where you can finally put down the weight of always having to be in charge. For others, ownership is about devotion. It’s the quiet check-ins, the daily rituals, the permission to make decisions on your behalf, and the feeling that even when your Dominant isn't physically beside you, their presence is still woven into your day. And what about the person who owns? Is it about authority and control, or is it about responsibility? Because to me, being entrusted with someone’s submission means being entrusted with their vulnerability, their trust, their boundaries, and a piece of who they are that they don't hand over to just anyone. You can claim a title, but you have to earn the trust that gives it meaning. So, I want to hear from both sides of the dynamic: 🖤 For the submissives: What does being owned mean to you? Is it freedom from having to make every decision, the security of belonging to someone, the desire to please, or something entirely different? What makes you feel genuinely *owned* rather than simply controlled? ⛓️ For the Dominants: What does owning someone mean to you? What responsibilities come with that privilege? How do you balance authority with care, and how do you show your submissive that they are valued beyond what they give you? And for those who have experienced a long-term ownership dynamic, does ownership change as trust deepens, or does its meaning stay the same? I’m especially interested in hearing from people who believe ownership extends beyond the bedroom and into everyday life. Because perhaps the most meaningful part of ownership isn't hearing someone say, “You belong to me.” Perhaps it's knowing that the person who says it understands exactly what that trust requires of them. Let's talk. What does ownership truly mean to you? 🖤
Ki**** Posted October 25 Owning someone for me is taking care of that person's needs but also helping her along the way to grow/mature/become who that person inspire to be.. It's not just "you belong to me" but one "I got you" is trusting the person but also taking action & accountability in some parts for that person. I believe trust tends to grow but can also be broken depending on what happens inside the dynamic.
Deleted Member Posted October 25 I feel like to own somone is to possess that person's consent....because ownership doesn't mean youll never lose it. But it does signify possession.
Se**** Posted October 25 Owning a submissive to me means that I own them mind, body and soul, their submission, their devotion. This isn't just privilege gained through negotiation and consent, but a responsibility to maintain a safe environment for that submissive to flourish in. It means that I will do anything and give everything to protect, cherish and uphold that responsibility and all that comes with it. It's not "you're my property, you don't matter" but rather you're my property, you're all that matters".
Do**** Posted October 26 It means absolute trust with out compromise or hesitation, A gift to someone special who is responsible, safe,sane, and worthy of the time and efforts of this person. To truly one another fully is a very rare thing and shold be cherished not ***d.
Se**** Posted October 26 As a Dominate I make it known that I am not capable of “ Owning “ ! The reasons are simple but woven into a Sub/ Dom dynamic! I have not the total emotional capacity to rein*** the needs and requirements a Sub should have for complete surrender! For me there is no reason why I should try and fulfill the needs that a Submissive deserves for complete surrender! So I am truthful and let a Submissive know if they seek to be “ Owned “ that I am not what they seek! I would rather pass than betray that Trust!!!
Ka**** Posted October 26 Coming here was the first time I came in contact with wanna-be Doms who think they can say what they want and I'll just obey because I'm subby. My only other D/s relationship was rooted in friendship, genuine mutual respect, and trust born of a desire to be what it was the other person needed. I was not owned because he said so, I was owned because I allowed myself to be. I submitted because I loved him (not a requirement, but true of us), and because he proved that time and time again, he was there holding the line. I submitted because doing so was safe. Our dynamic was passionate and fun. So many of y'all dress *** and misogyny up and call it a D/s relationship.
De**** Posted October 26 It means I can trust them with my true self and not have to shrink or hold back my desires. I don’t feel like I would be ignored or dismissed but finally be seen
sp**** Posted October 27 What I am increasingly finding is 1) a disparity and 2). Lack of understanding. The fundamental part of any dynamic/ relationship is trust respect and communication. Recently it seems very extreme on both sides Example: female dommes are looking for payments whereas male doms are aggressive in their approach. Now this can be down to a lack of understanding of dynamics and how you present on this app, but it can equally be predatorial.
ro**** Posted October 27 I always find owned a werid way of putting it like surrendered to seems like a better way of talking about Dom sub relationships
br**** Posted October 27 It mean you have to anything no questions asked because you are their property
ge**** Posted October 27 In elite bdsm circles and scenes, ownership is a specific term that indicates a specific signal to other practitioners when in a club, at an event or in a group setting. It also provides a different signal between and within the d/s dynamic. Ownership is an advanced form of dominance and submission that goes beyond the standard elements to the point that the Owner, "owns" sexual access to the submissive or slave whether that is for his/her own use or even that of others. This means that the Owner might have the slave perform sexual acts on others or receive sexual acts from others in such a manner that all negotiations and communications including limits are handled by the Owner. This enhances the role of Dominant by giving him/her power and authority (which of course is backed by intimate knowledge of their submissive's wants, desires, limits, cravings, kinks, etc) and it affords the submissive space to remain fully engaged in subspace and feel safe and protected, knowing that the details are being handled by their Owner. It also affords mechanisms for the Dominant to extend into fantasies that he/she would not be able to satisfy directly. For example, if a submissive has a double penetration or gang bang fantasy but is loyal and dedicated to his/her Dominant, then the ownership structure is way that the Dominant may facilitate such a fantasy without diminishing his/her role. Ownership is not simply a label that you can just assign or adopt but if you are successful in advancing your d/s relationship far enough, you will be able to feel when it gets to the point that you actually trust this person enough to be under their ownership and engage in group play or be on display as such at events for use by your Owner or others that your Owner may designate. Common honorifics that I provide for my submissives include "Sir" to designate "Dominant" when the submissive wishes to emphasize and express the 1:1 nature of the relationship and "Master" to designate "Owner" when the submissive wishes to emphasize and express where my dominance extends beyond 1:1 and into the realm of all sexual access, signaling that she wants me to be in charge of all of it.
br**** Posted October 27 49 minutes ago, gentleman_in_nyc said: In elite bdsm circles and scenes, ownership is a specific term that indicates a specific signal to other practitioners when in a club, at an event or in a group setting. It also provides a different signal between and within the d/s dynamic. Ownership is an advanced form of dominance and submission that goes beyond the standard elements to the point that the Owner, "owns" sexual access to the submissive or slave whether that is for his/her own use or even that of others. This means that the Owner might have the slave perform sexual acts on others or receive sexual acts from others in such a manner that all negotiations and communications including limits are handled by the Owner. This enhances the role of Dominant by giving him/her power and authority (which of course is backed by intimate knowledge of their submissive's wants, desires, limits, cravings, kinks, etc) and it affords the submissive space to remain fully engaged in subspace and feel safe and protected, knowing that the details are being handled by their Owner. It also affords mechanisms for the Dominant to extend into fantasies that he/she would not be able to satisfy directly. For example, if a submissive has a double penetration or gang bang fantasy but is loyal and dedicated to his/her Dominant, then the ownership structure is way that the Dominant may facilitate such a fantasy without diminishing his/her role. Ownership is not simply a label that you can just assign or adopt but if you are successful in advancing your d/s relationship far enough, you will be able to feel when it gets to the point that you actually trust this person enough to be under their ownership and engage in group play or be on display as such at events for use by your Owner or others that your Owner may designate. Common honorifics that I provide for my submissives include "Sir" to designate "Dominant" when the submissive wishes to emphasize and express the 1:1 nature of the relationship and "Master" to designate "Owner" when the submissive wishes to emphasize and express where my dominance extends beyond 1:1 and into the realm of all sexual access, signaling that she wants me to be in charge of all of it. Well said
Ar**** Posted October 30 In my mind: total control. Not micromanage, but no autonomy. I can gift my property. Lend it out. Break it.
Ki**** Posted November 1 Being owned for me is about the value of a relationship. Its trust, leadership. Security and its an investment
Sh**** Posted Tuesday at 11:10 AM Being owned to me is you only are with that person no other . You are not communicating with no one else. Your focus is just them besides of course your family and job ! That person is before you
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