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Being kinky and having adhd

By Deleted Member
in Kink Academy

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Deleted Member

Posted

So i know what you are thinking. How does that work? Honestly I’m not sure how i function 95% of time. But it helps having a partner who is understanding and checks in with you during scenes. I have adhd and add so sometimes during a scene my brain turns off and I’m not all there. So my partner checks in with me with caressing my forehead asking what color i am.

 

Can you share your experiences?

SwitchItAll

SwitchItAll

Posted
Curious what you mean? I have combo ADHD, but never thought it interfered with sex. I'm on medication now though, so maybe that's the difference? I have dissociated before, I don't know if that's what you mean? But for me, that's a trauma response.
li****

li****

Posted
I have ADHD and find I can be really intense with people in hyoer-focus states which can be really exciting but I can also crash from it; like my feelings are a type of mania and this can be mentally exhausting.

I find roleplay difficult if involving too many steps as it's harder to stay focused.

My brain can even wander off during sex or foreplay which is a vibe killer as people are intuitive and can tell when you're not fully present & the energy changes.

It's great that you have an understanding partner, it actually affects me more meeting people as I write really long epic messages which are called" broadcasting" in ASD terms and people just micro-communicate these days so I don't get much understanding.

If anything people are rude and mock me even if I've stated I'm neurodivergent which is upsetting.

I think we *people on any Spectrum are really wonderful, kind and emotionally Intelligent, creative, sensitive, caring and often have super powers as well as challenges. But I get misunderstood as things needing to be about how I feel "about me".

People should be more mindful when assuming we like talking too much as It can be quite triggering & damaging.

Someone said hello to me today on here that also has ADHD and it's such a rare thing for people to be nice to me, that I almost got upset.

Merry Xmas 🎄☃️❄ glad you are in a good place with supportive partner.

Deleted Member

Posted
  • Author
Most of the time I assign goal-oriented tasks and each have a reward. They can be anything from cuddles, to 30 minute massage, to do snacks and treats.
LS****

LS****

Posted
Speaking as an ADHD Dom, I’ve used special “check-in” safe words similarly to what you’ve just described. It’s easy to get carried away, to get lost in the moment as it were. It helps to have a grounding word the partner can use just to check back into reality and re-focus, especially when the scene is already intense to begin with. There’s also the “tap out” maneuver, two sharp taps in a particular spot that works well for me in case just the word wouldn’t suit the situation.

Deleted Member

Posted
  • Author
1 hour ago, SwitchItAll said:
Curious what you mean? I have combo ADHD, but never thought it interfered with sex. I'm on medication now though, so maybe that's the difference? I have dissociated before, I don't know if that's what you mean? But for me, that's a trauma response.

So when i turn my brain off, it makes me lose focus so my mind is else where instead of where it needs to be so
For example daddy is really into impact play and reminds me to keep my mind blank and focus on his voice only

SwitchItAll

SwitchItAll

Posted
25 minutes ago, Lil_Mouse said:

So when i turn my brain off, it makes me lose focus so my mind is else where instead of where it needs to be so
For example daddy is really into impact play and reminds me to keep my mind blank and focus on his voice only

Ooh, okay, I gotcha. I'm not sire if I've experienced that, have to look out for it. I do feel like I forget some commands sometimes if there's time in between. The more you know, lol.

ci****

ci****

Posted
I'm AuDHD. It can be confusing sometimes. Aspects of play, such as soft sensual sensory, or harder impact can help me ground. Zoning out happens and sometimes, mutism. Having a partner who is open to that and works adaptations in is good. But also, finding ways to be responsible for our needs is important. Sometimes I think I need hard deep impact and I just can't.
BigPolly

BigPolly

Posted
For me I can get too carried away and will go beyond what my body wants, my Dom is incredibly tuned into me and will recognise this or sub space, often before I do or will recognise that I am carrying on without stopping and will halt play until I am grounded.
I also loose the sensory aspect so I struggle to work out what’s happening, not in a sensory-deprevation way but in a ‘blurred lines’ kind of way as in what’s being used on me, where toys are etc
I’m lucky because my Dom also has an incredibly hypnotic voice which my body is tuned into in the most bizarre way so my focus stays on him the whole time.
I’m not sure if all of this is from autism/adhd or simply adrenaline but non of it is a negative thing.
Being ND also means I am blunt so will simply say what I want out of a scene without shying away however I do still get nervous but I’m able to mask and play my role and I will put everything into my role.
My only negative is I am hypersexual (which I presume is linked to being ND). People would think that’s an amazing thing but it isn’t as I struggle to understand why others aren’t like me. Sex, kink and the want for it, need for it, need to keep going is constantly & endlessly obsessive and that plays with my head.
Myia-2349

Myia-2349

Posted
I have autism and possible adhd. Sometimes I get these crazy moments where all I can think about is being bound and it drives me mad because I don’t have anyone willing to do that too me, so I either try to do it to myself or look online to see if I can find pictures/videos/stories of it being done to someone else
Da****

Da****

Posted
I have ADHD also, this is wonderful that you have someone who checks in.

I dont have much experiences to know how my adhd works in a relationship or a play partner.
Professor-123

Professor-123

Posted

I find the ADHD makes me more creative and I'm never short of ideas to explore and things to try. Always keeping it new. Haven't had issues zoning out, unless I lose the moment, which is far less likely during a kinky session than vanilla. 

Ph****

Ph****

Posted
I also have ADHD and took many years of ALOT of inner focus and everything to make sure I didn't have the brain fog as much. Still happens. But I don't have a partner or a person that checks on me. I have to do my own checks and setting myself up for success for the day
In****

In****

Posted
There’s a place outside the zone? I spent that much time zoned out these days 😅
xp****

xp****

Posted
ADHD is associated with strong cravings and addictive behavior. It's also associated with impulsivity and risk taking.
I'd be genuinely surprised if ADHD was not more prevalent in the kink community than in the general population.
  • 2 weeks later...
wi****

wi****

Posted
Wow didn't know about the cravings but now is making more and more sense why it's stronger during different acts .. but honestly least we always wanna do something new! Hahah .. ooh something shiny
CummingUpSoon

CummingUpSoon

Posted

Other than getting my required vaccinations and physicals for school and sports I never really went to the Dr. So I was never diagnosed with anything but people always tell me I have add or adhd. I was a sophomore in high-school the very first time I passed an English class because I couldn't read more than a paragraph without getting overwhelmed by how much I still had to read and skipped 5-10 words for every 2 that I read. I bought other peoples Adderal/Ritalin in college and was completed my business degree with a 4.0. 

Ive always had abnormally high energy and either I do something more than anyone else or not at all. Is adhd the reason im like that? For example in high-school I would make sure I always worked out harder than everyone else in the weight room then go home after practice and hit the gym until they closed and after 4 hours of trying to outwork everyone around me i I would feel like I was ready to go again 30 minutes later. At the bowling alley I start with 20 games and have bowled as many as 143 games in a row. In college I bought 3 different peoples monthly prescriptions and still run out a week before their refills. In my 1st few relationships i had sex at least 3 times a day sometimes as many as 7 times (and even after 7 I was getting hard it just hurt to be hard or touch our chafed selves lol). I was shocked when my ex told me that I was the only guy that a 3rd round with her because I viewed 3 as a minimum and I have always wanted to try for 10. Ive never even considered that it could have anything to do with my inability to read. 

 

Do I have ADHD and is that why I always try to do the most regardless of what I do

Ho****

Ho****

Posted
Yes it's true.. most the time when I get shy husband will say something and then tell me that I am a bad slut and that I am going to get punished
Fu****

Fu****

Posted
I’ve always got something different or not in the moment popping into my mind when I’m trying to focus on the moment.
  • 2 weeks later...
ma****

ma****

Posted
The venn diagram of kink and neurodivergence is practically a circle lol. I'm ADHD, one of my partners is Audhd, another is ASD, and I'm pretty sure most of the local munch group is on the ND spectrum to some degree. I find that kink improves sex, gives my busy brain something to focus on.
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