Deleted Member Posted October 13, 2019 Posted October 13, 2019 I recently re-read the chat rules to remind myself of what I advise people to do sometimes and I was wondering what everyone’s thoughts are about sexual roleplay chat in the chat rooms? How would you describe it? How does it make you feel when others sexual roleplay chat in the not for roleplay chat rooms? At times I feel there can be some hypocrisy when new people come into the lobby and expect sexual roleplay chat, who can then be told, sometimes in a very rude way, it is not the place for it and advised/told to go elsewhere. I feel sexual roleplay chat happens all the time with some of the regular users of the not for roleplay chat rooms so a newbie might think it is ok. I have witnessed some gentle role play such as flirting with people in their dynamic to kidnapping and raping someone. All kinds of sexual roleplay chat make me feel uncomfortable, even the gentle stuff, as I feel like I am privy to something I don’t necessarily want to be, to the more hardcore which upset me a lot as there was no regard for other people’s triggers etc. We should be welcoming new people, we talk about it being a community and tolerance yet at times I feel we can be intolerant. I am not talking about the rude people, the keyboard warriors, the scammers or the trolls, who should be reported and blocked, I am talking about those who are new to the scene, who may not put a capital D or use the wrong language, those who have come to explore but need a nudge in the right direction. Surely we should be encouraging new people to join the lobby and the fetish community in general, should want them to stay and learn, make sure they are safe and able to talk about things? This could be their first glimpse into the wonderful, colourful world of kinks and fetishes. So maybe we need to be more understanding of sexual roleplay chat in the lobby. I also want to add that it isn’t anyone’s lobby….it is everyone’s lobby.
ey**** Posted October 14, 2019 Posted October 14, 2019 I don't really use the chat room - but I can see what you mean. It is pretty rude for someone to join a chat room and trying to assume a role and involving others - but of course people with a rapport may be doing this consensually - and this can come over a little cliquey or less welcoming. Are roleplay chat rooms something to consider?
Mz**** Posted October 15, 2019 Posted October 15, 2019 On 10/15/2019 at 12:27 AM, eyemblacksheep said: "It is pretty rude for someone to join a chat room and trying to assume a role and involving others - but of course people with a rapport may be doing this consensually" - I think consent from other room members should be considered too..I don't consent to having to watch scening for example especially when rules state it's not permitted, yet it is very often tolerated depending what crowds in and who is roleplaying..the double standards of those who choose to sexual roleplay chat and who then 'pounce' on others breaking a different rule annoys me just as much though. Personally I think role-play should be either taken to a private room or to direct messaging if it's happening on site. Maybe dedicated role play chat rooms could work?
ey**** Posted October 15, 2019 Posted October 15, 2019 6 hours ago, MzJax said: I think consent from other room members should be considered too..I don't consent to having to watch scening and absolutely - I agree 100%
Deleted Member Posted October 15, 2019 Author Posted October 15, 2019 On 10/15/2019 at 1:40 AM, MzJax said: I agree Jax, I don’t consent to be a part of someone else’s scene and if people are in a public room doing sexual roleplay chat they should take others into consideration. They also open themselves up to people thinking it’s ok to chat to them in that manner too, as they might not know the people in that roleplay chat rooms know each other or are in a dynamic.
Deleted Member Posted October 15, 2019 Author Posted October 15, 2019 I understand fully what you mean, the double standards and constant hipocrism are a joke. I find myself spending less and less time there. 👏 👏 👏
li**** Posted October 15, 2019 Posted October 15, 2019 Oh gosh I HATE role play with a passion and for it to happen in the public chat room when there are clear rules stating it's not to happen in there is ridiculous. I do feel like it's one rule for some and not for others in there I 100% agree on that and then when you call a chat mod nothing gets done or said either half the time. I even feel like the little things that are said in context of role play also which people start with a * gets on my tits also, I've not been in the chat room for a while now and when I do it's only to lurk for a bit, I myself like @TeeJay98 Says finding I'm spending less and less time in there these days.
69specials Posted October 15, 2019 Posted October 15, 2019 I have often used sexual roleplay chat in the lobby & didn't realise it was going to upset or offend anyone. I also often write *Snogs & Snuggles* to Sir or *Strokes* pets as nice gesture to that person but realise it may of often been seen as a disrespectful thing to do to the rest of the group/people that are entering the lobby x Maybe roleplay chat rooms would be a good idea?
Deleted Member Posted October 15, 2019 Author Posted October 15, 2019 1 hour ago, TeeJay98 said: I understand fully what you mean, the double standards and constant hipocrism are a joke. I find myself spending less and less time there. 👏 👏 👏 Which is a real shame as I think you have a lot of knowledge and experience you could share with others xx
Deleted Member Posted October 15, 2019 Author Posted October 15, 2019 On 10/15/2019 at 12:16 PM, 69specials said: I have often role played in the lobby & didn't realise it was going to upset or offend anyone,I often write *Snogs & Snuggles* to Sir or *Strokes* pets as nice gesture to that person but realise it may of often been seen as a disrespectful thing to do to the rest of the group/people that are entering the lobby x Thanks for your response 69, I just think if we are going to ask people to read the rules or tell them they can’t sexual roleplay chat in the chat room then we can’t be doing it ourselves. It’s against chat rules to role play, so we should all abide by the rules and also respect that others do not like it or have consented to it.
Deleted Member Posted October 15, 2019 Author Posted October 15, 2019 On 10/15/2019 at 12:06 PM, Lilmonster said: Oh gosh I HATE role play with a passion and for it to happen in the public chat room when there are clear rules stating it's not to happen in there is ridiculous. I do feel like it's one rule for some and not for others in there I 100% agree on that and then when you call a chat mod nothing gets done or said either half the time. I even feel like the little things that are said in context of role play also which people start with a * gets on my tits also, I've not been in the chat room for a while now and when I do it's only to lurk for a bit, I myself like @TeeJay98 Says finding I'm spending less and less time in there these days. Thank you lovely, I am actually surprised by how many people are agreeing with me, I was nervous to post it as I don’t want to cause problems but it needed to be said. I really hope it makes a difference and maybe roleplay chat rooms open so you start to come into chat more because like Teejay you have so much knowledge and experience to share with people.
li**** Posted October 15, 2019 Posted October 15, 2019 (edited) 4 minutes ago, sub_miss_1 said: Thank you lovely, I am actually surprised by how many people are agreeing with me, I was nervous to post it as I don’t want to cause problems but it needed to be said. I really hope it makes a difference so you start to come into chat more because like Teejay you have so much knowledge and experience to share with people. Never feel like you can't post anything or say anything your opinion matters hun 💜 and thank you for raising this topic its a good one to chat about I will hopefully soon start to come back in the chat room 💚 Edited October 15, 2019 by Lilmonster
Deleted Member Posted October 15, 2019 Author Posted October 15, 2019 On 10/15/2019 at 1:03 PM, Lilmonster said: Never feel like you can't post anything or say anything your opinion matters hun 💜 and thank you for raising this topic its a good one to chat about I will hopefully soon start to come back in the chat room 💚 I am gaining confidence with thanks to you and some of my other friends. At the end of the day rules are rules, people can’t pick and choose who follows them. It makes me feel uncomfortable and that’s not fair on me or anyone else who feels the same. If people want to sexual roleplay chat maybe they should make their own roleplay chat room rather than use a public place?
Deleted Member Posted October 15, 2019 Author Posted October 15, 2019 On 10/13/2019 at 9:54 AM, sub_miss_1 said: I recently re-read the chat rules to remind myself of what I advise people to do sometimes and I was wondering what everyone’s thoughts are about roleplay in the chat rooms? How would you describe it? What does it mean to you? How does it make you feel when others roleplay in the chat rooms? The reason why I asked is that at times I feel there can be some hypocrisy when new people come into the lobby and expect role play, who can then be told, sometimes in a very rude way, it is not the place for it and advised/told to go elsewhere. I feel role play happens all the time with some of the regular users of the chat rooms so a newbie might think it is ok. I have witnessed some gentle role play such as flirting with people in their dynamic to kidnapping and raping someone. All kinds of role play make me feel uncomfortable, even the gentle stuff, as I feel like I am privy to something I don’t necessarily want to be, to the more hardcore which upset me a lot as there was no regard for other people’s triggers etc. We should be welcoming new people, we talk about it being a community and tolerance yet at times I feel we can be very intolerant. I am not talking about the rude people, the keyboard warriors, the scammers or the trolls, who should be reported and blocked, I am talking about the newbies, those who are new to the scene, who may not put a capital D or use the wrong language, those who have come to the site to explore but need a nudge in the right direction. Surely we should be encouraging new people to join the lobby and the fetish community in general, should want them to stay and learn, make sure they are safe and able to talk about things? This could be their first glimpse into the wonderful, colourful world of kinks and fetishes. I also want to add that it isn’t anyone’s lobby….it is everyone’s lobby. It might be really useful if Fetish could share their definition of role play so everyone knows. I’ve looked online and there are a couple of different definitions....maybe a Mod can share?
li**** Posted October 15, 2019 Posted October 15, 2019 On 10/15/2019 at 1:25 PM, sub_miss_1 said: I am gaining confidence with thanks to you and some of my other friends. At the end of the day rules are rules, people can’t pick and choose who follows them. It makes me feel uncomfortable and that’s not fair on me or anyone else who feels the same. If people want to role play maybe they should make their own room rather than use a public place? Aww thank you, you're gaining more confidence and it's amazing to watch 😍 yes it makes me uncomfortable too and yes rules are rules it shouldn't be one rule for one and then one for another when it comes to role playing, or for anything else for that matter. And yes I agree 100% if people wanna sexual roleplay chat they should open up another roleplay chat room or take it to pm.
Deleted Member Posted October 15, 2019 Author Posted October 15, 2019 1 hour ago, Lilmonster said: Never feel like you can't post anything or say anything your opinion matters hun 💜 and thank you for raising this topic its a good one to chat about I will hopefully soon start to come back in the chat room 💚 I do hope u come back into the chatroom Lilm, I see you lurking and I miss talking to you, ♥
Mz_Whiplash Posted October 15, 2019 Posted October 15, 2019 I believe a more defining explanation on what role playing is on this site... flirting... **'s (which is usually used as an expression in the main chatroom) is not role playing... creating a scene and acting it out is though. Chat, Text is flat anyway.... I believe some use of **'s and emojis create feeling and emotion in text. Maybe.. this site could create another main roleplay chat rooms dedicated to sexual roleplay chat (as not all members are paying members, who cant just create one) and there for the site could define the rules... which for me leaves gray areas.
uk**** Posted October 15, 2019 Posted October 15, 2019 My opinion is that Full on roleplay involving acting out scenarios should be kept to PM or even better real life but that's not to say that an individual cant keep "in role" whilst generally chatting/flirting in the chat room. I've opered many sites over the years and my advise to others was to act in a public chatroom the same as you would in a real life public room. Whilst being in a chatroom obviously allows us to get rid of some inhibitions it shouldn't be an invitation to go into full cybersex mode, keep that for behind closed doors/pm/bedrooms/meets etc.
li**** Posted October 15, 2019 Posted October 15, 2019 4 hours ago, TeeJay98 said: I do hope u come back into the chatroom Lilm, I see you lurking and I miss talking to you, ♥ Awww thank you 😍 I miss you too
Mr**** Posted October 16, 2019 Posted October 16, 2019 People talking about sex on a sex site????? Absodidly out of the question!!! Its unfathumable!!!
Mz**** Posted October 16, 2019 Posted October 16, 2019 11 hours ago, MrE-1985 said: People talking about sex on a sex site????? Absodidly out of the question!!! Its unfathumable!!! I don't believe anyone is saying talking about sex is off limits, but that roleplaying scenes, be they sexual or otherwise, just aren't appropriate in a general chat room..in a similar way to a fetish club.. most have a no sexual contact in public spaces rule, it's kinda the same thing..take that kind of intimacy somewhere private especially if it's more extreme.. ***play, ***play, breath play, cnc etc., a little consideration for others triggers apart from anything else.
Saph1968 Posted October 16, 2019 Posted October 16, 2019 It’s a really interesting one. So at the moment people do come into the Lobby ‘in role’ and I know that I am *guilty* of reacting to them in role. Is that role playing? Yes by the strict definition it is and so I should not be doing it. (noted). But does that effectively mean that being ‘in role’ in the Lobby is also not acceptable, as that is ‘role playing‘. So the idea of a ‘Lobby’ with out the role-play restriction is a good idea as although some do spring up from time to time I suspect that many people don’t visit them as they are not ‘official rooms’.
Deleted Member Posted October 16, 2019 Author Posted October 16, 2019 Thanks for your response Saph, I am going to ask a Mod if they can find out the sites definition of role play as there are differing definitions on line, as I think it would help clarity on the matter. I agree with you that having a separate sexual roleplay chat lobby or more roleplay chat rooms without the restrictions would be a good idea. My aim of this post was not to cause any friction, it was more to ask people’s opinions and to share mine.
Deleted Member Posted October 16, 2019 Author Posted October 16, 2019 On 10/15/2019 at 2:33 PM, Mz_Whiplash said: I believe a more defining explanation on what role playing is on this site... flirting... **'s (which is usually used as an expression in the main chatroom) is not role playing... creating a scene and acting it out is though. Chat, Text is flat anyway.... I believe some use of **'s and emojis create feeling and emotion in text. Maybe.. this site could create another main room dedicated to role play (as not all members are paying members, who cant just create one) and there for the site could define the rules... which for me leaves gray areas. I am going to ask a Mod if they can find out what the sites definition of role play is to clarify it for everyone. I have looked online but there are a few definitions so it’s not clear. I agree with you about the site creating another room where people can role play, that would then ensure everyone’s needs can be met. I had forgotten than non paying members can not create one so it’s not always possible for those wanting to.
Saph1968 Posted October 17, 2019 Posted October 17, 2019 6 hours ago, sub_miss_1 said: I agree with you that having a separate lobby without the restrictions would be a good idea. My aim of this post was not to cause any friction, it was more to ask people’s opinions and to share mine. I though about this a bit further and I think the issue is actually what I’m thinking is probably allowing ‘in-role’ but not scening, and you are then straight into the issue of where does ‘in-role’ end and scening begin, and how can newbies easily see the lines. This does mean it probably has to be either non or full role play. I think all the responses have shown that this topic didn’t cause friction, it has generated discussion and suggestions.
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