en**** Posted March 21 Posted March 21 From what I’ve seen, many folks on here stay with the kink that originally got them into the lifestyle however, what about those who originally loved a certain kink lifestyle but eventually changed their feelings on it? Maybe even grew to hate it? If you’re one of those folks, what changes your feelings on that kink?
It**** Posted March 21 Posted March 21 The more of my trauma, attachment wounds, fractured self I worked through, healed, alchemized, integrated, and rewired (through my personal work, studies, and somatic therapy training), the more that flavour of BDSM dynamics/scenes/relationship orientation I was into changed. “Out with the old, in with the new.” Because I had changed and become more whole, what was aligned for me, and what was hot to me changed accordingly, and/or I now access it from a totally different POV/for a totally diff reason(s). Hope this makes sense to anyone reading it despite the omission of specifics, which would require so much more detail/energy/time.
Pl**** Posted March 21 Posted March 21 I'm not one of those people, but I've known a number of women who used to be into rough sex/*** that no longer are and some now consider that a hard limit. There's a general formula that I've seen, and it mostly has to do with different levels of sexual competence. A tremendous number of guys don't really know what they're doing, and a lot of women don't even know themselves well enough, so for many women, their earliest sexual experiences are pretty lackluster. Then they get some experience with rough sex, and it's usually a little better. It gets a little adrenaline going, maybe a bit more arousal, and overall, they found it to be a far better experience than bad vanilla sex, and they come out thinking they like rough sex and ***, and embrace that for a while. And then some years later, they finally meet somebody who actually knows what they're doing (or occasionally figure some things out on their own), and once they're reaching a certain quality of sex, they discover that for really good sexual experiences, *** doesn't really add anything for them, and actually takes something away.
MommyKult Posted March 21 Posted March 21 I was originally a submissive rl poly relationship. The idea of being submissive was fine, I am a switch, but I found out with a craptastic Dom and me being far more Dominant than I thought , that it wasn't something I enjoyed. It was more for me , seeing someone else in the position I was in than being in the submissive role that was a turn on and enjoyable. I bet there are also considerably more women who fall into the D/s roles that really don't fit them, but believe it's how it should be by those generational expectations and or just don't understand how to really be that role in a relationship.
An**** Posted March 22 Posted March 22 15 hours ago, ItsBeeXox said: The more of my trauma, attachment wounds, fractured self I worked through, healed, alchemized, integrated, and rewired (through my personal work, studies, and somatic therapy training), the more that flavour of BDSM dynamics/scenes/relationship orientation I was into changed. “Out with the old, in with the new.” Because I had changed and become more whole, what was aligned for me, and what was hot to me changed accordingly, and/or I now access it from a totally different POV/for a totally diff reason(s). Hope this makes sense to anyone reading it despite the omission of specifics, which would require so much more detail/energy/time. First let me say i absolutely respect and admire your journey of healing. Your response was well explained and makes complete sense.
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