Feeling anxious

[mo****]

Is it common for someone to feel the 40 years he/they have lived of experienced has been a lie and that they want to explore what others can offer to open his mind ? I am at the cross roads of sort and I know I am asking a bunch of strangers which is ironically what I feel comfortable than asking someone closer in life

[Sp****]

I wouldn’t say that I’ve ever felt that I’ve been living a lie but I have absolutely discovered things about myself that I realized later were always true and I didn’t understand that part of me.

It happened to me in discovery of BDSM. I had hidden and pushed that side of me down for 35 years but looking back it was always there. My life is much richer and fuller now I have acknowledged that side.

Hope this helps or at least gives a different perspective. Good luck!

[Se****]

It's incredibly common. You're not alone. Just keep talking about it openly, so that more and more people feel brave enough to come forward.

[Bl****]

I didn’t feel like I was living a lie but I was suppressing important parts of myself and people pleasing. I felt like I kind of destroyed myself and built a person for others happiness instead of my own. Recently I broke away from the toxicity in my life and started rediscovering myself. Getting back into the kink community was part of that. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with learning and exploring different things. How else are you supposed to find out what you like and don’t? Depending on what it is you should probably do some research and always keep your safety in mind.

[Deleted Member]

That's called a midlife crisis buddy

[mo****]

Thank you all. I will be honest about not even knowing about bdsm or kink till a couple of years back.

[ey****]

kink is incredibly common in 'midlife crisis' and that's not to be down on that or anything 

But there becomes a bit of a blind panic that you discover kink and it reasons in your head as something fun/different/exciting while also a worry that time is short, you've been on the wrong path yadayada

The good news is; it's never too late.  It's just a case of remembering you are new, everyone was new once - some are new younger, some are new when older.  Time is still on your side; but a lot of stuff will take time and patience. 

[ot****]

It’s very common, you are not alone. I’m 45 and I will not live my life unhappy any more. Following the path the society expects from us. Break the mold, be brave, be you. Like blacksheep says.. never too late

[mo****]

I hear you all. Where do I start ? I know things exist and half the time I feel dumb when someone messaged asking if I am a/b/c and I am searching what that means. My thoughts have been : if I don't know what what is , I am probably not that it into that.

[Sg****]

I'm 43, Age us a number. I say to you, be honest with yourself, that way your Soul will be happy, freeing, and growing. And, yes it is common what you're going thru, believe it or not. Welcome! Explore, learn, and practice safety!

[ey****]

1 hour ago, monk_oh said:

I hear you all. Where do I start ? I know things exist and half the time I feel dumb when someone messaged asking if I am a/b/c and I am searching what that means. My thoughts have been : if I don't know what what is , I am probably not that it into that.

So, to be honest - if someone asks "are you a/b/c" and you are searching as of what that means, that's a good step in your learning.  

Where to start? A day at a time.  Read up on stuff in your own time.  Consider whether you'd like to go to, say, a munch - which can be a good way to meet others into the lifestyle and share experiences.  Remember a little that being new can make you a little *** to some experiences, so don't rush and if something doesn't pass the sniff test then don't pursue it.   Someone offering the world is usually being dishonest. 

[ka****]

Wat do u mean by that? Like do u wanna explore poly and don't kno how to put it in words or is it something completely different?

[Koro]

Oh definitely.
I'm 38 and my whole life's been about making others happy. So at 38 I'm trying to find my place

[Deleted Member]

Exploring sexuality later in life is exactly what I’m doing and I have no regrets. No better time than the present to get to know and love yourself better.

[Th****]

If its any consolation ive been exploring new things in the last 10 years more that I did the previous 25. It's good to want to explore new things it keeps the mind young

[ga****]

I am 38. I have been fairly sexually open and active for most of my life. I spent 6 years in a failing marriage, during which time I suppressed my sexuality cause my partner was very "vanilla" and there is nothing wrong with that. However, I learned that by denying any part of who I am I lost myself. Now I'm am finding myself again and it's a wonder experience.

[Di****]

Well, if you found out life can be permanently extended that question would be silly n obvious...enjoy yourself.if you need help you obviously got sources for that just keep it chill

[br****]

Explore and have fun doing it

[Co****]

Common? The term ‘mid-life crisis’ was coined long ago. It’s extremely common to reevaluate what you want from life occasionally - and almost cliche to be doing it at about 40.

[bo****]

I think that doing it at 40 is no different than any other age. We do it after high-school. Then after a few years of work...then life experiences make us question even more. The idea of common is the same as normal...if you believe the color blue is turquoise...then that would be normal to you. What makes it common is how often YOU see it.

[Va****]

I lol at the way things can come full circle and you become so jaded can't see the forest through the trees. And before you know if you missed and your.perfect circle becomes a figure 8

[no****]

Sounds like a midlife crisis

[Za****]

Maybe it is not about age, and more about the life stage, maybe something in your life has changed and you have to change and adapt, hope is a good change.

[do****]

I wouldn't have any great expectations but I certainly would have high hopes

[do****]

Life evolves we're not the same people we were even five years ago some of us a year ago You have to evolve with it You're the one living your life you're the one that can turn it around Turn the lies into lessons And turn the lessons into a new life ***d And live your best life