As a Master with years of experience, one of the big problems I see is, a lack of responsibility. No one wants to take the responsibilities that go along with submitting or taking the submission. It seems that slaves want to be able to submit only when they are in the mood. The so called Masters Read more… are worse. It amounts to take your clothes off so I can punish you, then go away.
As a Master or as Dom, the goal is to make the sub or slave the very best they can be. Not only as a sub or slave, but as a person. Too many subs and slaves have been treated so badly and basically used as whores that they either leave the lifestyle altogether, or start believing that that is all they are good for.
Dubs and slaves are not stupid, they are not weak. It takes a huge amount of strength to give your submission to someone. Submission is not a right. You can call yourself Master or God, or anything else you want, but if you are guessing, you are not a Master. You have to understand that his or her submission is the greatest gift they can give. Many don't understand this and wind up leaving a trail of broken people in their wake.
As a Master or Dom, you are responsible for your sub or slave 24/7/365. It isn't a part time thing. If you can't commit to that, then you do not belong here.
Yes, I am opinionated and I don't mince words, but I have seen the damage done by game players. If you really want to be a Dom or Master, do some research and talk to people. A lot of what I have learned came from dubs and slaves. Yes, they also have opinions, listen to them. You can avoid some serious mistakes. Believe me, I have made them. A sub or slave is not there just to be punished, they are here to learn to be better. I don't hesitate to punish when deserved, but I also don't hesitate to tell a sub or slave when they do well. Remember this, it is very easy to tear anyone down, we all have faults, but the goal is to build a sub or slave up. Most subs or slave's have very low self esteem. A fominant's job is to raise that self esteem, make them proud of themselves and if being a sub or slave.
Having a sub or slave is not as some think, all one sided. It is just like any other relationship. It is give and take. 50/50. The submissive gives their submission, the dominant takes that submission as a gift and teaches the submissive. At the same time, the dominant takes responsibility for the submissive and takes care of them to the best of their ability.