TPE and Anxiety

[Th****]

For those who practice TPE (Total Power Exchange), have you found that it helps with managing anxiety or overwhelming feelings? If so, how does the structure of the dynamic support your mental health?

[Br****]

Taking small things off of my mental plate, so to speak, means I can focus on other things without having the total list running around in my head non stop. If I don't have to decide what to wear or when to eat, for example, I can focus on writing that email instead. Breaking up my daily tasks means my anxiety is definitely less and there isn't a feeling of overwhelming tasks for that day.

[lo****]

my mind is always racing with everything i have to do all day and night, and TPE makes managing all that way easier. if i only have to worry about the bigger things and not making as many decisions in general, that lifts a lot of unnecessary stress off my back. im a lead at my work, so being at work and having to be in authority as much as i am drains me. coming home from that to somebody i trust knows whats best for me making all the rest of the decisions for the day is like a way to recharge for me

[AmPantySubSissy]

Letting someone else control my thoughts has helped me avoid my own negative self talk and insecurities.

[De****]

Yes, absolutely. It helps me offload my worries and allow my Dom to take the control. It saves me from my anxiety quite often.

[Li****]

It can if you find the right person. It depends as you can have the dynamic to mean just in the bedroom but still total power or as a lifestyle.

I think it would make my anxiety spiral and heat up a little bit if mine was lifestyle in a dynamic, unless there was an agreed to contract of what's okay to expect, what's not/boundaries established.

In the bedroom, it takes it off me tbh! As long as it's someone who trusts you and vice versa and won't rush/damage anything (which should go without saying!)

It's what your comfortable with, ultimately. But sometimes it just takes a bit of time and warming up to somebody to be able to relax into it and know you can trust your dynamic. It's just new and scary sometimes!x

[tx****]

Well said

[AmPantySubSissy]

Agreed, finding the right person is hard sometimes but its worth it

[ja****]

It’s a double edged sword, on the one hand a strong supportive dom could rein*** stability but it could also make things worse with added pressure, best advice is proceed with caution and try small steps before jumping in

[sa****]

of all the various flavors we each look for in a match here (or anywhere), I would say TPE is the most rare to be able to really connect this way, because it really does require wading in step by step, so you need to have a connection first based on a smaller portion. but in the context of that kind of relationship (which I've really only had once), yes, my sub often said it gave her calm and peace to be able to let go of all the variables that ordinarily would be running through her mind in other situations

[Th****]

I really appreciate all of the honest answers. Thank you so much!🩷

[pf****]

I wonder about the old fashioned husband wife relationships you see in the older/1950s movies/shows; those sometimes were a form of what we now might call TPE, at least that's how it looks to me (fake as they appeared, I'm talking about the wives that were homemakers and the husbands who made all the decisions and demanded complete submission in the lifestyle context). just a curious thought

[pf****]

1 minute ago, pfennig said:

I wonder about the old fashioned husband wife relationships you see in the older/1950s movies/shows; those sometimes were a form of what we now might call TPE, at least that's how it looks to me (fake as they appeared, I'm talking about the wives that were homemakers and the husbands who made all the decisions and demanded complete submission in the lifestyle context). just a curious thought

I expect that some of the wives felt right at home with it, but others were probably stressed tf out: it probably depended on how the guy was, if he was a genuinely good person or if he was an a*hole. and I think that idea is applicable to your question.

[De****]

1 hour ago, sapient said:

of all the various flavors we each look for in a match here (or anywhere), I would say TPE is the most rare to be able to really connect this way, because it really does require wading in step by step, so you need to have a connection first based on a smaller portion. but in the context of that kind of relationship (which I've really only had once), yes, my sub often said it gave her calm and peace to be able to let go of all the variables that ordinarily would be running through her mind in other situations

This is 💯 true. It only works for us because of extreme trust and communication. It’s not to be entered lightly.

[Th****]

54 minutes ago, pfennig said:

I wonder about the old fashioned husband wife relationships you see in the older/1950s movies/shows; those sometimes were a form of what we now might call TPE, at least that's how it looks to me (fake as they appeared, I'm talking about the wives that were homemakers and the husbands who made all the decisions and demanded complete submission in the lifestyle context). just a curious thought

1950’s Kink is very much a real thing. I would say TPE is a level up because of consent, agreement and possibly a contract.

[GeneGrey]

So in a TPE relationship it’s ok to discuss with your partner if you don’t feel comfortable in performing a certain task they tell to do right?  Let’s say your owner tells you not to use the bathroom for about two hours. During those two hours even though you can’t make it it’s ok to give in, right? You won’t be punished for it? 

[ey****]

33 minutes ago, FreddieJobbs said:

So in a TPE relationship it’s ok to discuss with your partner if you don’t feel comfortable in performing a certain task they tell to do right?  Let’s say your owner tells you not to use the bathroom for about two hours. During those two hours even though you can’t make it it’s ok to give in, right? You won’t be punished for it? 

Like many things in kink, TPE is open to interpretation and how it's applied into a relationship is up to those within it.  

In your scenario of a bathroom ban, the Dominant should already have established via their relationship whether this is a fair ban to give.  The scenarios that then play out are either (a) task completed, no problem (b) cannot go 2 hours so wets/soils themselves and either that is their punishment or there is another punishment on top which both knew could happen. (c) Ignores the ban and this triggers whatever consequence.

If of course the sub is unhappy with the potential outcomes, then there is work they both need to together on their TPE to find out what works and doesn't for them.

It'd be excessively cruel, for example, to give someone a bathroom ban who has IBS, bladder issues, prostate issues, etc.