Ca**** Posted April 19 I can can only speak from personal experience as a cautionary tale but after my first (and alas only) experience with kink, that relationship ended and then I spent 15 years with my partner in a monogamous serious vanilla relationship. It has its pros and cons. Pro-the stability was nice Con: I tried to share my kinks but he was strictly vanilla and with my ADHD brain it was very hard to enjoy sex without my mind just wandering off somewhere else. It wasn't fair to him (or me) and that relationship ended. I had another relationship that lasted 4 years and he too was vanilla with a very low sex drive. I loved him very much but I was unfulfilled in the bedroom. Sex is not the only important thing, but if you are not compatible one of you might end up feeling unsatisfied and unfulfilled. Remember a serious relationship is long term. You have to ask yourself if vanilla is enough to satisfy you. If not you can end up years without feeling satisfied.
MD**** Posted April 19 In my opinion, the answer is no. If you're in to kink, then that's what you're going to want. I tried going back to vanilla relationships after years of being in kink and realized just how much I truly missed it. My very vanilla bf at the time recognized i was struggling without it and he tried to make up for it but it just wasn't the same or what I needed sexually. Our relationship ended for other reasons but here I am looking again for kinky partners. I would wish I could find someone who is into kink and wants the vanilla kind of home/ family life that I want but I've searched and don't think it exists. It honestly feels like having to choose between the two.
Deleted Member Posted April 19 If kink is part of your authentic self and not simply "a phase", it will stick with you for the rest of your life. Plenty of kinky parents out there juggling their lifestyle and their responsibilities as a parent.
my**** Posted April 21 I would interduce it to him in small bits be open and honest with him you'll be surprised what he maybe into or willing to try. I just wouldn't start out with something big.
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