Being Comfortable

[da****]

It is apparent that we all live in a time where there is prevalent information about terrible things that happen to some people who meet online, most of them happening to women. This is the backdrop of all interactions that happen on this app/website. It is in the back of all of our minds. I'm aware of this, and I try to be as open and friendly as possible with the people I meet here. Obviously I don't bring it up, however, because it feels like that will only bring the ***s in the back of our minds to the front.
There have been many women that I talk to for months here, and it seems like we develop a solid connection. I am a deep thinker, a pensive person, and I enjoy relating to people on a deep intellectual and emotional level. I have found many who relate and seem to feel the same way. However, after being on this app for more than half a year, I have never met anyone in person. I make it clear that our first time hanging out can be casual, can happen in a safe public place, and can occur for even just a short blip of time, so that we can get a feel for the vibe.
Does anyone have any suggestions for bringing this gap, or stories about their first time meeting someone in person that went well?
It could just be the case that meeting people in person from the start is realistically the only way to go about it. That being said, does anyone know where our community meets in the Colorado area?
Thank you all in advance for your insight and opinions.
Sincerely,
a curious novice

[da****]

Just meet people in public areas the first few times. It's not a big deal unless you expect physical intimacy to quickly. Good luck 👍

[Deleted Member]

I JUST downloaded this app. I don't believe that it has even been a week yet. An attractive female with "sub" tendencies left a comment on my photo the first day I downloaded. I sent her a message. She was here at my home last night. One of the best times I have had in my entire life of 46 years and we are headed into what looks promising to be an amazing relationship and dynamic. It was that easy for me. Seeing your post here I decided to look at your profile. These are just my thoughts nobody is saying that I am all knowing or even partial knowing , but there are a few things I noticed. 1)This is a pretty hardcore Kink Platform and your opening bio literally says "if a limit exists I have that limit" (in different words but,) you just limited yourself to probably a mere 5-10% of the users remaining after all those who are here to explore outside of limits. (Just saying)

2)You took the BDSM test and are rated as a Dom over a Sub. There is no specification anywhere of what you are looking for and people shouldn't judge by appearance or judge at all especially here but they do. Your profile my at most slightly tilt towards a possibility of you seeking to Dom a Sub. You do not come off as dominant. Not in the way you speak and not in the way you appear. Again, shouldn't be making those judgement but people do and that may be a block for you. A comment you posted said you're a novice, many are seeking for experience.

3)You have a picture with a female next to you on your profile. That may come off to some as her being somebody you are involved with which eliminates you from being sought by anybody seeking monogamous who makes that assumption.

4) I'm a straight man so don't take this the wrong way, but you're not exactly a bad looking guy. The pic of you in the water on the surfboard should be your profile pic or at least 1st or 2nd in line. It's far more appealing than your current one that has you positioned way off to the side.

As quick as this worked for me I would say that eventually you will connect with somebody like minded and interested, but those 4 things at the least may be working solely or combined against you. If I'm not mistaken your profile is not complete yet either. Throw your specifics out there. This is the place for it. It's even possible that you're just in a location that doesn't have much of this type of scene and people here aren't near you and aren't into the cyber fun. Don't give up though bro. You'll find your person. This is just insight from my own personal perspective and it may or may not be helpful. Good luck to you bro. 👍🏻

[On****]

@Dannygalaxies Fantastic observation and advice. 👏 Some people do come here to learn more about the kink community and to the OP this is a great community, take your time, enjoy the ride it's worth it

[da****]

Danny that's is the most articulate, thorough, and helpful advice that I've ever received online! Thank you so much for taking the time to review and write! You're the man.
Honestly you should be a coach for that kind of thing

[Deleted Member]

7 minutes ago, dankierdank said:

Danny that's is the most articulate, thorough, and helpful advice that I've ever received online! Thank you so much for taking the time to review and write! You're the man.
Honestly you should be a coach for that kind of thing

I appreciate that. I like to see people find what it is they are looking for so I am really glad that I could help 👍🏻

[Ra****]

Be patient, be polite, treat people like people until they request otherwise, and be brutally inflexible with boundaries that involve safety or "Hard No's.". Some boundaries and limits are meant to be pushed, and others should be carved in stone. Aaaaand of course, EVERYONE is different...

Just my two copper though