Any tips for autistic people looking to date?

[Deleted Member]

Just figured since I'm fairly new to relationships it wouldn't hurt as somebody who's autistic (high functioning in my case, I was diagnosed at like 3 or 4 iirc) to ask y'all any tips you people have.

[St****]

Maybe change ur name to something less sexual

[Ma****]

No, leave it as it is!

[Tr****]

I always ask people about their hobbies to get a better gauge on who they are and what we share in common. Ask them what they’re looking for relationship wise to see if you’re compatible in that aspect. What helps for me is having all of my responses end with questions about them and what they may be interested in to keep the conversation going!

[de****]

Meet ppl in person... Way better ..

[dr****]

I agree with Stuart bud the name might be a bit much.

[lo****]

Don’t look at autism as a weakness but more so a strength: something that makes you unique. Embrace it. Be yourself

[Ma****]

There is a course on this app -"Neurodovergent I and dating" or similar name in section " Courses". Check it out.

[Du****]

Change your username. You might feel it’s an appropriate reflection of your personality, but it’s absolutely ensuring that you’ll be ignored by a considerable proportion of kinksters who might otherwise be interested in you. ND folk - and I am also in that category - have plenty of barriers to overcome without adding to them unnecessarily.

[Ch****]

Yes. The Dutchess is right. Your username is a likely barrier. Not the right kind of "funny" that we're sure you're going for. Maybe consider a literary character you admire?

[Ch****]

"BioloGuy" and "Rodan" are likely both available.

[Deleted Member]

Honestly, be yourself. Don't lead with hi I'm autistic how are you? Or anything too intense, but you know, simply starting a conversation works. My husband is also high functioning, we've been in love for 15 years, it's definitely possible. Open and honest communication of wants and needs and reciprocation works! Also, my husband struggled the most with rejection when he was dating. It hits different for autistic people, i know. Try not to beat yourself up, the next date may end up being there for the long haul.

[ar****]

Advice for anyone dating: don't have expectations nor assumptions.
And if you have difficulty socializing, consider any date/meet you go on, as a win in your quest to meet the right person.
If you don't vibe that's ok. It's just a matter of finding the right compatibility. Loving and kinky connections require consent and acceptance from all parties involved. Don't feel rejected when things don't work out, just accept that everyone has their own preference and you can't influence them. Be proud to be your authentic self, because masking takes a lot of energy and distracts from the true purpose.

[ph****]

As another looking to rizz em with the tism: know what you're comfortable with. If crowds aren't your jam don't go to the bar. Maybe go on a nature walk or some place less crowded or noisy.
Beyond that, be yourself and don't be afraid to be weird. If they don't like you being yourself it's their loss my guy!

[mi****]

2 hours ago, BBWDomme said:

Honestly, be yourself. Don't lead with hi I'm autistic how are you? Or anything too intense, but you know, simply starting a conversation works. My husband is also high functioning, we've been in love for 15 years, it's definitely possible. Open and honest communication of wants and needs and reciprocation works! Also, my husband struggled the most with rejection when he was dating. It hits different for autistic people, i know. Try not to beat yourself up, the next date may end up being there for the long haul.

Could you define "too intense" for those of us who are autistic? Asking for a friend lol🤣

[Qv****]

wmention it upfront and explain that’s maybe why i can sound blunt or say off
things i’ve found that very helpful
so people
don’t assume i’m rude that goes for all encounters it’s just easier if people
know it lets them know ur intending to make a good connection but struggle so they give you more of a chance rather than put u straight into the asshole/bitch/weird/no category

[Qv****]

i’m diagnosed autistic amongst many other cocktails of co-morbid diagnosis according
to a good many psychiatrists all have the same diagnosis of co-existing
Bi-Polar Type 1
Autism
ADHD
CTPSD
just for ur reference m8
i speak from my personal bs journey of offending people
and having oh so many friends … not
… u get what i mean chin up keep going ur in a good place for it m8 onwards and upwards ur the best always remember that :)

[mi****]

21 minutes ago, Qvncrazy said:

wmention it upfront and explain that’s maybe why i can sound blunt or say off
things i’ve found that very helpful
so people
don’t assume i’m rude that goes for all encounters it’s just easier if people
know it lets them know ur intending to make a good connection but struggle so they give you more of a chance rather than put u straight into the asshole/bitch/weird/no category

That conflicts with her statement of
"dont lead with hi im autistic..."
Dont get me wrong, im perfectly happy with doing the infodump at the front, but she said not too

[Deleted Member]

2 hours ago, mister-mantic said:

Could you define "too intense" for those of us who are autistic? Asking for a friend lol🤣

Well, don't jump into your life story or start out with please be my sub/domme/gf/etc etc. Let things flow naturally, "Hey, how's your day? I noticed x on your profile, that's really interesting, I'd love to hear more about x if you don't mind." I know how hard it can be for my beautiful friends on the spectrum, so even sending out a message or responding to a comment is HUGE, and practice makes perfect ❤️

[mi****]

7 minutes ago, BBWDomme said:

Well, don't jump into your life story or start out with please be my sub/domme/gf/etc etc. Let things flow naturally, "Hey, how's your day? I noticed x on your profile, that's really interesting, I'd love to hear more about x if you don't mind." I know how hard it can be for my beautiful friends on the spectrum, so even sending out a message or responding to a comment is HUGE, and practice makes perfect ❤️

Thanks! It's much appreciated to have a rubric that's already passed some level of muster. Thanks for being understanding. You have a good day!👍

[Deleted Member]

53 minutes ago, mister-mantic said:

That conflicts with her statement of
"dont lead with hi im autistic..."
Dont get me wrong, im perfectly happy with doing the infodump at the front, but she said not too

To each their own, if he finds success that way, wonderful!

[Ak****]

I agree with the avond. Be yourself. Try to already think of some things you would like to ask, or talk about yourself. Think about it that it doesn’t matter what you say, try to be interested. And also, if it doesn’t go wel, the talking, or the date, it doesn’t have to be you or the autistic side! You are wondeful as well, you just need to learn some tricks and trust yourself with it.

[Di****]

Getting the girl is not the end of the level. We don’t deserve a**hole passes for our internal struggles. How you make someone feel with or without intent is still on you. I own my sh*t. You seem *** to being manipulated by bad people so bee 🐝 careful.

[Di****]

8 hours ago, DuchessFeuille said:

Change your username. You might feel it’s an appropriate reflection of your personality, but it’s absolutely ensuring that you’ll be ignored by a considerable proportion of kinksters who might otherwise be interested in you. ND folk - and I am also in that category - have plenty of barriers to overcome without adding to them unnecessarily.

What is wrong with name? I’m asking because I don’t know and can’t find out? My Latin is rusty but “truely many toothed” is it offense? Or EURO poly with teeth? Thats a cool name, but I’m not the droid he’s looking for my ***

[Du****]

14 minutes ago, DiDet said:

What is wrong with name? I’m asking because I don’t know and can’t find out? My Latin is rusty but “truely many toothed” is it offense? Or EURO poly with teeth? Thats a cool name, but I’m not the droid he’s looking for my ***

He’s changed it. I won’t repeat what it was originally.