Fetish.com
Login FREE SIGN-UP
Jump to content

Any other couples struggling to find a woman?

La****

By La****
in BDSM Forum

 Share

Recommended Posts

La****

La****

Posted

Why is it so hard to find another woman?  How do people do it? Any ideas/suggestions?

Cade

Cade

Posted
There are a lot of complex answers to this, but I think I boils down to chemistry/connection for one person for two people can be incredibly difficult, especially if you're already someone that finds strong initial attraction rare.
hi****

hi****

Posted
2 minutes ago, Demondog27 said:
It is even hard to find another man.

That sounds wrong

hi****

hi****

Posted
All the ones that we find are either too young or in another country. For us specifically, our age gap is an issue for many, as well as not being attracted to certain things prominent in the local area.
No****

No****

Posted
We’ve had one hook up from on here and still talk to her. I think it’s just hard in general to find someone
De****

De****

Posted
5 minutes ago, hiramcouple said:

That sounds wrong

It does but it is they are either way young or on a list

ey****

ey****

Posted

there's been threads on this in the past - and the general concensus is...

- A couple tend to be looking for another woman to enrich their own sex life, rather than enrich her life.   

- A lot of couples seeking.... seem to be led by the man, or it just feels like a bait and switch

- that for it to actually work she has to be interested in both of you.  For whatever the basis is (one-off threesome, part of a thrupple, etc)

- Joining an existing couple comes with a lot of power politics - you are already established as a couple 

- So which again leads a lot to the problem that even someone who would be interested in something with an established couple, there is little benefit

Deleted Member

Posted
We’ve been struggling to find someone for a long while. If you ever get an answer to this I’d love to know!
po****

po****

Posted
It's easier to find other couples than it is to find single ladies. Plus you can go on couples dates, and get saucy together.
Ti****

Ti****

Posted
Thats not as easy. For example, my guy has basically told me for a fantasy I want, he wont be in it and he's fine with it. However, finding another woman is difficult for a newer couple to the poly/throuple scene.
Mr****

Mr****

Posted
As a passing bull to a decent number of MFM, FMF, and MFF trios, I will note that the position of "third" comes with a required autonomy. You *know* that you are there to rein*** the existing dynamic (at least, if you're involved with any degree of ethical mindset). You also know that if you choose to engage but your engagement is to be with one partner but not the other (for ANY reason, whether your own choosing or that of the partners), then you need to be able to hold to that while in the throes of passion.

Hard request.

Given the unique social dynamics of masculine and feminine individuals, I would imagine that those issues, plus a certain sense of *** for personal safety and abandonment, weigh heavily into the equation.

So, the simplest method with best odds is to be kind but quite clear that the third being sought after is there as a toy. She is obviously a person, and being able to "play improv" in an inordinate setting is quite nice; but you can't pretend that it will be anything more. Frankly, it's an interview for a possibly dual fuck session with the possibility of repeat performance if the sex is good and the vibes are right—hard, but true, as is the case with any other one-on-one date. Emotions may or may not come into play, and (like any other dating scenario) the expectation of immediate sex is likely going to be perceived as "high risk" (so, you know, "what's the reward?" is an appropriate question).

I'd proceed with those things firmly in mind.

I myself am always looking for femme energy for my subby switch since she is oh-so-shy among the ladies; if I intercede in this way and find that I myself am thus desired, that is fine *but requires negotiation*. I'm well off the menu until it's proven that you have no ill will toward my sub; then and only then will the possibility of any such risque interface occur with me.
hi****

hi****

Posted
1 hour ago, portland471963 said:
It's easier to find other couples than it is to find single ladies. Plus you can go on couples dates, and get saucy together.

In theory that's fine but ask we found are swingers. Not our dynamic and some take it as an affront we aren't interested in their male half.

Lh****

Lh****

Posted
Quit looking give your woman the reins and they will come when it starts you’ll get tired of it
ge****

ge****

Posted
It's no more or less hard than it is for anyone else looking for a match through sites like this - it just has different complexities most of which eyemblacksheep has covered above.
.
But come back to basics and be honest - if you were a woman looking to meet a couple, would they look at your profile and think "here's an interesting couple"? Or would they just see the void that it is and move on?
.
So first job, update your profile, make it interesting, make it appealing, as best you can make it show you are actually a couple and that you're *both* invested in this.
.
Think about ways you can meet other potential partners beyond sites like this - and what it is you expect to find - if it's kink then get along to local Munches and kink events, if it's sex, get along to local swingers clubs.
.
I'm not going to lie, but your age *will* go against you, so that's another thing to consider and take into account when it comes to looking for others - anyone more than a couple of years older is unlikely to be interested.
.
Ultimately rather than waiting for the system to work for you, you have to find ways to work for it that also work for you.
AmandaMonsterLady

AmandaMonsterLady

Posted
Your age is really going to go against you. You’re high school age. Your best bet is in person meetings by chance. Send HER
to talk to girls at coffee shops/clubs near a college campus.
sardonicus87

sardonicus87

Posted
16 hours ago, hiramcouple said:

In theory that's fine but ask we found are swingers. Not our dynamic and some take it as an affront we aren't interested in their male half.

If you're swingers, you might have better luck on a swinging website rather than a BDSM one. The cultures are completely different and incompatible, in my opinion. I think this is why a lot of swingers have frustration in the BDSM scene... because it doesn't work like the swinging scene.
.
Although, swinging isn't about hoovering up women as thirds and stuff, that's more about swapping partners for casual sex. So if you're unicorn hunting, the swinging scene might chuck you too.

sardonicus87

sardonicus87

Posted
2 minutes ago, sardonicus87 said:

If you're swingers, you might have better luck on a swinging website rather than a BDSM one. The cultures are completely different and incompatible, in my opinion. I think this is why a lot of swingers have frustration in the BDSM scene... because it doesn't work like the swinging scene.
.
Although, swinging isn't about hoovering up women as thirds and stuff, that's more about swapping partners for casual sex. So if you're unicorn hunting, the swinging scene might chuck you too.

And just to be clear, I am not saying you are swingers, I am saying if anyone is, though I did misunderstand what you said at first.

 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...