(This profile is best viewed if read while the song in the above YouTube embed [most recent status update] is played during.)
Just an honest opening before you actually invest time reading this profile: I'm probably not the type of individual you want to know. I'm old(er). My interests and penchants are not acceptable to others (though consensual). People may well tell you that I'm disgusting, dangerous, even that I am psychopathic. Rumor has it that I brainwash people into liking me, and I am certainly of dubious character you’d be wise to avoid.
It's very likely all true.
That being said, I am a literal sadist and human owner. I feel like you should pay special attention to that term, “literal”. Inflicting intense sensations (that I can't share here even in the simplest and most innocuous ways) is a necessity for me to reach a state of arousal. My pleasure is found in less conventional sexual interactions. Rather than fantasies of wild fuck sessions and incredible sexual conquests, my focus in this regard is to push outside comfort zones and into far more extreme activities.
My relationship dynamic is a CNC Owner/property poly triad. For the sake of transparency, I own a live-in slave (together over 14 years, branded as my property after her training in 2019). In addition, I do have several play partners part of my world in various stations, each with their unique commitments. My desired goals would be to find a second live-in masochist/submissive to also train as my slave and would be [chain-sïster] and partner to my current servant. All individuals involved are aware of one another and this goal, and each supports me in their own way.
My modality is structure and ritual driven, a variation of both PRICK and RACK ideologies. As you might have gathered, I use honest expression of my desires and intent to create shared understanding with individuals with preferred base qualities. Prospective individuals that desire to progress begin a consideration process of extensive communication and interactional observation to determine a sense of trust and integrity for no less than a year. If trust is secured by all parties, the potential is collared as my submissive in training for ownership. Training includes behavior modification, pushing thresholds, and solidifying the protocol in everyday life as well as in lifestyle environments and play spaces. This period lasts seven years after which the submissive is branded as my property in a commitment ceremony with the exchanging of our oaths. This is how one becomes my slave. Play partnerships are more based on individual considerations (though, I am currently not looking for any other play partners).
I started my own lifestyle journey as a sadist at the end of the 1990s. In these decades, I've had so many amazing experiences, had the opportunity to learn from some of the most exceptional individuals from all walks of life on a plethora of subjects, and created play and scenes that are often incredible even to myself. Impact play is my happy place - my Florentine flogging skills get me the most attention, but my use of a cane is frighteningly legendary. Mind fuckery is a big part of reaching deeper levels of participation with me, and I'm willing/capable of investing the necessary time and conscious effort to earn the trust and respect required for my desire…even despite how limitless my imagination and cruel cunning. Suffering is my love language.
I have experiences to share. Magical and sensational, dark and disturbing experiences. All you have to do is be the canvas for my art.
If I tell you that I am too much for you, this is not an insult, challenge, or attempt to bait you. Please respect that I do not think our experience/kinks/relationship goals match up and I'm trying my best to protect you from me.
(If you're a racist/homophobe/transphobe or otherwise judgemental of others, little, brat, have issues being honest or making commitments, only want to role play or share fantasies, or believe “the submissive is really the one in control” then it best we don't waste either of our time.)
Topical Articles:
Understanding Complex Consent Dynamics and CNC;
www.fetish.com/topic/14091-understanding-complex-consent-dynamics-and-cnc/
Tales:
"Yes";
www.fetish.com/community/topic/1711-yes/
Poetry:
CENSORSHIP is a pretty huge limit of mine.
I think this may be the case in some aspects where the specific activity is more a fetish rather than just a kink. I think that's why this phenomenon isn't a more common occurrence. Perhaps when something other than traditional sexual conquest is a person's driving fōrce for interpersonal and Read more… intimate interactions, sex has a tendency to manifest differently. But I'm also someone that has witnessed someone squirt from deep tissue impact, so...haha...you know...
I think for me, it's not always sexual in a physical sense; arousing my senses doesn't always equate to making my cock hard. There are many forms of intimacy, and some have nothing to do with sex - at all, and this translates over to kink. For example, my sado-gasms are far strong than orgasms I Read more… have from penile stimulation - so much so that I don't need sex after a good scene. The scene IS the sex!
For my dynamic, it is standard. There are exceptions, for example vanilla venues, in which case my slave is required to discreetly ask to sit. The structure and protocol doesn't just stop because it's inconvenient, it just adapts to consider the environment and the consent of others. I think it is Read more… sort of an older tradition, though I think it more has to do with the level of participation of the participants. Not everyone wants 24/7 or high protocol, but there are still a lot of people that practice it.
The reality of everything it would require in order to do it properly.
I have an adage I teach my subs that I think is prolific here: "No one can be someone else's *everything*." That being said, it is a decision you should make as a couple to seek outside experiences, and it's okay if you two don't agree. I think the bigger questions is: what to do if you don't Read more… agree? In this case, I think you two should discuss what is included in this outside interaction, why one of you wants this outside interaction, if that's a viable or selfish reason, and what are the consequences if they did go through with it. In the end, it might not be that big of a deal if doesn't effect your relationship. On the other hand, if it's going to jeopardize the relationship, other alternatives might be able to be considered.
Interestingly enough, I find the type of collar, material it's made of, the closing mechanism are all also very symbolic of the dynamic, as well. A flimsy collar that just velcros closed seems to represent a more temporary arrangement, while you might see a devoted 24/7 slave wear a metal collar Read more… that actual locks closed. Certainly, one is not better than the other (any more than the relationships they represent), but they can tell you a lot about the nature of commitment and depth of participation.
1. What makes me consider an individual to be collared would be multifaceted. First, mutual attraction and similar interest would be confirmed, communication occurs regarding relationship goals, then myself and the individual enter into a consideration period of at least one year. During this time, Read more… trust is secured and integrity confirmed (vetting basically), as well as exploration of interest to gauge validity of the matchup. If, after the consideration period myself and the individual (and any other participants) agree there is reason to continue forward, then there would be a collaring ceremony.
2. The collar signifies my claim on the individual and their dedication to serve me, and that they are in training to be owned by me as my slave.
3. Expectations vary to the individual, but the most general expectations are: obedience, respect, honesty, communicating needs and wants, bringing any issues they may have to my attention, and to represent me to the best of their ability. More esoterically, I expect constant growth of their submissive nature to learn how to serve me best, observing my patterns and rituals, and finding out where their skills/talents will improve my quality of life.
4. We do have a mutually agreed upon "lifestyle mediator" (someone that is very aware of my structure and protocol, our limits and relationship goals, so that if discussion of relationship dissolution become necessary, there is an aware but impartial third party to help assuage those pesky emotions and misunderstandings. Communication of issues and concerns happen, and if either party does not want to continue the relationship after, the collar is removed and returned to me. (Of course, that's in an idea world, as we are all aware, sometimes people just checkout. I'm of the mind that if someone doesn't want to serve me, then there's no reason for me to try to keep them in my life.)
There unfortunately isn't a lot to be done about it, directly. I find that the type of person that will kink shame is also typically the type to not listen to any information that doesn't fit the narrative. You can give facts and evidence until blue in the face, and it won't change anything for Read more… them.
What you can do though, is try to be a good example of your lifestyle, dynamic, and interests. Keep moving forward, leaving those that kink shame locked in their tiny box. Enjoy life, and make them wonder why you (and your partners) are so damn happy while they stay miserably judgemental.
I think it helps to remember that one person does not represent the entire community. What was done to you isn't actually BDSM or kink, so perhaps considering it an example of such dynamics seems erroneous. Take your time to heal. If you're not getting what you need from this culture, there is Read more… nothing wrong with leaving it.
Cold branding.