Discipline and sweet pain - discover everything about sadism

For the dominant sadist kinkster

A sadist is someone who derives sexual pleasure from causing pain to their partners - and assuming that everything is consensual and has been negotiated in advance - they can be in high demand amongst the people who love to be on the receiving end (masochists). There are plenty of different kinds of sadism, but they all thrive on one thing: the giving of consensual and well-desired pain. While many sexual sadists are also D/s dominants, this isn't a universal truth; some people are in it for the physical sensations alone without all the mind games, while others are submissives but find that they have a bit of a sadist streak on top.

What's the difference between a Dominant and a sadist?

First of all, let’s define these terms. A dominant is a person who is in control in the relationship, the top. They can be a Dom/Master or Domme/Mistress or simply the person doing the tying, flogging, etc. There is are range of ways to be dominant - see ‘What Time of Dom are You?’ in the magazine.

A sadist is a person who enjoys giving someone else pain and in most cases finds it sexually pleasing. Many times a dominant will be a sadist but not EVERY TIME! It’s a matter of personal preferences and the situation.

Where can I find a submissive kinkster?

If you’re a Dom/me and looking to inflict some discipline on a willing submissive, there are plenty of ways! Here are a few tips on finding that sub-one special.

Online: You’re off to a good start by being on - make a personal ad or check out others in the Quick Kink section. Fill out your profile completely so people can get to know you, it also displays trust, and therefore subs will be more likely to contact you or respond to your messages. Get active on forums and in chat rooms, share with others what you’re into, what you’d like to explore and listen to what others have to say.

Events and fetish parties: Get out there! Go to fetish clubs or bars and mingle with kinksters, live and in person. Find a theme that suits you and regularly go so that people will be familiar with you.

Workshops, munches and more: There are always conferences, workshops and munches happening. So if you’re up for improving your knotty skills go to a bondage workshop. Munches are another way to meet new people casually, and since everyone will be in vanilla-wear, you’ll talk to people to find out more about them! There are sex-positive events like storytelling nights and speed dating events that can help you get to know others. has one of the fastest growing fetish events databases online so check it out!

What is sadism?

A sadist is a person who gets pleasure from inflicting pain on another person in a safe, sane and consensual manner during BDSM play.

Does a sadist need a masochist?

Pain inflicting sadists match up brilliantly with pain loving masochists but they don’t necessarily have to. A sadist can match up with all different kinds of kinksters, depending on who they get on with and the specific dynamics of that relationship.

Threads and discussions that include: Sadism

  • Sadism Opposite

    Sadism is commonly defined as "the tendency to derive pleasure from the pain or suffering of others." What is the opposite of sadism? Is there a name for a tendancy to derive pleasure from the se ...
  • Timing is everything. It’s late. The end of another day. Work has been put aside, the remains of a meal downstairs in the kitchen, the washing up left to greet us in the morning as we sit ...
  • Ok bare with me. My wording and phrasing may be poor. *** i want to stress that any events i describe have been safely practised. Responsibly and consensually. No one ...
  • Members looking for: Sadism

    Pro-Dom/me Session25 to 99 years USA, Charlotte 3 days ago

    Similar to Sadism

    It's not uncommon - especially in the kinky world - for someone to process pain as pleasure, and to crave sensations a little rougher and more intensive than are usually considered the norm. These people are often called 'masochists', and while it's important to remember that the word isn't synonymous with 'submissive' (not all masochists enjoy psychological submission, and not all subs are particularly interested in physical pain!) the two often go hand in hand and each category has traits in common with the other. Masochists are the opposite number to sadists, who enjoy inflicting consensual physical pain just as much as their masochistic partners enjoy receiving it.
    There's more than one 'official' definition of what the letters in BDSM stand for, and plenty of people don't agree on their exact usage! However you use the term, though, it's a catch-all way of describing a whole bunch of kinks and fetishes that are more common than many people imagine: bondage and impact play, sadism and masochism, domination and submission. Safety, consent and respect for boundaries are all key in the practice of BDSM, and it's vital to negotiate properly with your partners before getting into anything heavy-handed. Thankfully it's not so hard to learn - most places around the world have their own BDSM communities that are only too happy to take in newbies and help them learn the ropes.
    Submissives get off on giving away their control over themselves: on being directed and compelled, on following orders and losing agency. Some like to do this through bondage and physical restriction; some by feeling psychologically subservient to a dominant partner; some through pain play. Many like a combination of these things. The key to figuring out a fantastic D/s dynamic is communication--make sure both sides of the equation are getting what they want and what they need, and that everyone is well aware of safewords and limits. Some people enjoy having dominance and submission as part of their everyday relationship, while others prefer keeping it in the bedroom. Either of these kink styles is fine - just so long as everyone is on the same page.