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BDSM

Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism

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Safety, consent and respect for boundaries

Overview
Kinky members who are or like: BDSM
What does BDSM Stand for?
What is BDSM?
How can I add BDSM into my sex life?
Do I need a safeword for BDSM play?
Magazine articles that include: BDSM
Threads and discussions that include: BDSM
BDSM dates with kinksters looking for: BDSM
There's more than one 'official' definition of what the letters in BDSM stand for, and plenty of people don't agree on their exact usage! However you use the term, though, it's a catch-all way of describing a whole bunch of kinks and fetishes that are more common than many people imagine: bondage and impact play, sadism and masochism, domination and submission.

Safety, consent and respect for boundaries are all key in the practice of BDSM, and it's vital to negotiate properly with your partners before getting into anything heavy-handed. Thankfully it's not so hard to learn - most places around the world have their own BDSM communities that are only too happy to take in newbies and help them learn the ropes.

What does BDSM Stand for?

Each initial stands for different elements, Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism and you will see a mix of these used by different people.

What is BDSM?

Erotic practices that revolve around bondage, dominance, submission, sadomasochism and control. BDSM is a huge category that covers everything from a gentle hand spanking and hair tugging during sex to extremes such as needleplay and whipping. BDSM can be practised at home or can take place is clubs and dungeons. Some people are very involved with their local BDSM scene others keep it within their relationship and at home. There’s no one right way to practise BDSM, there are many different approaches.

How can I add BDSM into my sex life?

If you’re curious and want to try it out, then start by adding some lighter activities into your play. Maybe try some light spanks during sex or hair pulling. Invest in a flogger or light paddle if you want to experience a slightly harder spanking experience. You can use every day items such as belts, pegs and ties to spice up your sex life. Use them to attach your partner to the bed, or if they’re up for it, use the belt to administer a spanking. Normal wooden clothes pegs can be used as nipple clamps. It’s very intense so don’t expect to keep them on long first time out!

Always remember consent is key and be sure to know all the risks involved before indulging in a little BDSM play.

Do I need a safeword for BDSM play?

Yes, you need a safeword or non-verbal equivalent for all kinds of BDSM play. It may be that you agree that when you say stop, the person stops. If you think you might say ‘stop’ or ‘no’ and not really mean it, then use a safeword that you wouldn’t normally say during play.

You can always use the traffic light system to check in during play. Green means you’re happy to continue, Amber/yellow means you need them to stop what they’re doing or change what they’re doing. Amber might involve stopping play for a moment to discuss what happens next or may indicate to the top that they need to change implement/area. That is something you need to decide between you before play. Red means immediate stop. Often it is the end of a scene and the beginning of aftercare.

During scenes where you’re unable to speak, if you’re using gags or are trying breathplay, you need a safeword alternative to communicate with the top. This can be a pattern of grunts, dropping something held in your hand or tapping the top. It’s essential that a bottom can communicate at all times.

Threads and discussions that include: BDSM

  • Never in my life I thought I’d be involved in a. D/S relationship . being a control freak in’normal’ life being a sub is out of this world, however whilst I think I understand ‘sub space’ please can s ...
  • Me gustaría experimentar la experiencia de una manera segura, pero no se como ¿Alguien que sepa? ...
  • Me and my partner are moving from Australia to Singapore shortly, I’m just curious about how difficult or easy our sexuality and lifestyle would be there. Anyone have any advice ? I’m bisexual and ...

    • Members looking for: BDSM

    Keywords related to BDSM

    Keywords: dominance, sadism, masochism,

    Similar to BDSM

    Control is sexy, and if you're into domination it can be the sexiest kink of all. For some kinksters, D/s is a lifestyle - but for many people it's simply something fun to play around with in the bedroom, and we're fully supportive of both of those fetish preferences. If dominance is your thing and you consider yourself a dom or a domme, it's vital that you develop an understanding of safewords, negotiations and enthusiastic consent. Once you and your partners are both on the same page, though, the sky's the limit. Fetish.com's magazine prides itself on its wide range of articles on the subject, so if you're looking for some inspiration you might want to head over there and do some reading up.
    Bondage is one of the most famous and best known aspects of S&M and BDSM play, and not without reason. Being tied up is a glorious sensation for the right person, and the control inherent in being the person doing the tying can give a dominant partner a heady rush. Ball gags are also commonly used. Sometimes bondage is there primarily to enhance a roleplay scenario; sometimes it's almost an art form, especially when it comes to rope bondage. Other times it's just to make clear the dynamic and have some fun with each other. Whatever your reasons for indulging, make sure you're doing so safely. Learn some knots that don't tighten under pressure and always keep a pair of shears to hand in case you need to release your partner in a hurry.
    Submissives get off on giving away their control over themselves: on being directed and compelled, on following orders and losing agency. Some like to do this through bondage and physical restriction; some by feeling psychologically subservient to a dominant partner; some through pain play. Many like a combination of these things. The key to figuring out a fantastic D/s dynamic is communication--make sure both sides of the equation are getting what they want and what they need, and that everyone is well aware of safewords and limits. Some people enjoy having dominance and submission as part of their everyday relationship, while others prefer keeping it in the bedroom. Either of these kink styles is fine - just so long as everyone is on the same page.

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