Chastity

For kinksters into chastity

Chastity is a very common kink and is fantasised about by many people from the perspective of both the chastener and the chaste. For Dominant types, it tends to be about control and ownership. A submissive in chastity is at the mercy of their Dominant, and can't pleasure themselves without first being freed. For the submissive, it's thrilling because it's another way of being out of control. The ability to use and touch your own body as you see fit is a fundamental thing to have removed and for many, that's an enormous turn-on. There are many kinds of chastity devices such as chastity belts and chastity cages, so experiment a little to find the right sort for you.

What is chastity?

Simply it is abstinence from sex, often in the kink community this is enforced on a sub by a Dominant, this person is often known as a keyholder. It is a very intense way to express the D/s power exchange, giving the control of sexual pleasure to the Dominant partner.

Do you have to have a chastity device?

No, although chastity cages and belts are used as symbols sometimes, there is no need for them. Chastity can be enforced by word only but there definitely needs to be a strong bond of trust for it to work and lots of honesty.If you claim to be not having orgasms and you're actually cheating, it's really not fair. You need to have the trust to tell the Dom if you've cheated and take the punishment that is dished out for disobedience.

Why should I try chastity?

Most things are better when you’ve not had them for a while. Just like when you give up something like wine, chocolate or biscuits for lent, the denial leads to more pleasure when you get to have that first sip or bite. So giving up on having orgasms for a while might just make it all the better when you actually get to come. It’s a great way to play with a D/s dynamic too, handing your climaxes to another person. It really is a high expression of trust.

What is a keyholder?

A keyholder literally holds the keys to your orgasms, they are the Dominant who locks you into your chastity device, such as a cage or a belt, and keeps that key. They physically hold the key to your orgasms.

Maybe you'll like this

Learn how to beg better

Dominants of all kinds often enjoy getting their submissives to beg. There are just so many ways to employ the principle: begging to be allowed to orgasm is a popular option, or for a way out of a punishment, or for something that is perceived as a reward. Begging is often verbal, but there are physical ways to beg - impromptu oral with an edge of desperation to it often does the job nicely! From the sub's point of view, the trick is usually to let go of feeling self-conscious and give in to a baser and more carnal set of instincts and desires. It can be an oddly liberating experience, and is usually a major boost to the dominant in question too!

Domination for kinksters who love control

Control is sexy, and if you're into domination it can be the sexiest kink of all. For some kinksters, D/s is a lifestyle - but for many people it's simply something fun to play around with in the bedroom, and we're fully supportive of both of those fetish preferences. If dominance is your thing and you consider yourself a dom or a domme, it's vital that you develop an understanding of safewords, negotiations and enthusiastic consent. Once you and your partners are both on the same page, though, the sky's the limit. Fetish.com's magazine prides itself on its wide range of articles on the subject, so if you're looking for some inspiration you might want to head over there and do some reading up.

Submission - ready to serve?

Submissives get off on giving away their control over themselves: on being directed and compelled, on following orders and losing agency. Some like to do this through bondage and physical restriction; some by feeling psychologically subservient to a dominant partner; some through pain play. Many like a combination of these things. The key to figuring out a fantastic D/s dynamic is communication--make sure both sides of the equation are getting what they want and what they need, and that everyone is well aware of safewords and limits. Some people enjoy having dominance and submission as part of their everyday relationship, while others prefer keeping it in the bedroom. Either of these kink styles is fine - just so long as everyone is on the same page.