How to Introduce Bondage Into Your Sex Life

Are you curious about bondage, but in doubt about what it exactly is all about? And how do you introduce it to your partner? Those dipping their toes into bondage for the first time will have many questions, so we're here to answer some.

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Bondage can be a naughty way to spice up your sex life. Some people think that bondage only includes more extreme play like hanging your partner up on a St Andrew's Cross, but the best way to try bondage is to start small with a set of handcuffs and/or blindfolds. 

What is the 'bondage' in ‘BDSM’?

BDSM is an abbreviation for: Bondage and Discipline (BD), Dominance and Submission (DS) and Sadism and Masochism (SM). Bondage is generally about submission, which is often expressed by one of the parties being tied up, or 'bound', while the other person(s) titillate and enjoy them. The bound person can look forward to touch, sex, or maybe even pain from a whip or other object. 

Those who practice bondage often speak of submitting as a way of surrendering fully to someone else, giving up control can lead to very powerful sexual experiences. Although the naughty discipline can be practiced by just about anyone, you should educate yourself thoroughly before trying it out. Among other things, it is recommended that you introduce a mutual safeword so that the play can be stopped quickly if it crosses personal boundaries. 
 

Consider what you want

Before introducing your partner(s) to your kinky bondage fantasy, make sure you have a clear idea of what you want to try, what it entails, and why and how it turns you on. Should bondage be part of your foreplay, or should it be the whole duration of sexual play? Do you want to be in ‘control’, or do you dream of submitting totally? Only after you have an idea about what it is you like and want to do, should you begin planning your kinky rendezvous. 

Try some toys!

You don't have to go it alone and find any old rope lying around the house to initiate play. Consider perusing the internet to find a huge selection of bondage toys that appeal to every kind of kinkster. From bondage kits to chastity sex toys, and blindfolds, masks, and gags, there are so many ways to incorporate bondage into your sex life.

How to tell your partner(s)

Some people find it easy to talk about sexual fantasies, while others find it uncomfortable and hard to approach. Therefore, you should prepare the conversation in your mind first, taking into consideration the where, the how, the why, etc. Read some tips below to help you get started:

1. Be straightforward – It is easier said than done, but it is often more effective. Maybe just something like: “Honey, I would like to spice up our sex life a bit, and try out some bondage. How would you feel about that?” 
2.  Use a movie or a game as an occasion to take the plunge – While watching “The Secretary”, you could mention how you would like to try something like that, or ask if he/she has ever tried something similar. You can then both visualize play via the movie. 
3. Take the chance and surprise – If you dare, you can also choose to take the chance to surprise your partner.  Ask your partner to lie down on the bed, close his/her/their eyes and let the fun begin! 

Curious about why bondage makes some people tick? Read about it in the Fetish.com BDSM forum.


All images (unless otherwise stated): model released from Shutterstock.com