Discipline

Discipline - The road to punishment

Discipline is almost universally accepted as a core component of pretty much any BDSM dynamic. For most people it's done as something that in reality is enjoyed by both participants, though there are people who get a kick out of receiving discipline and correction that they don't necessarily enjoy for itself in the moment. Most kinky discipline is physical and pain-based, but that's not the case all the time; many kinky couples use other punishment types as well or instead, such as corner time or writing lines. Certain acts of sexual service can also be used as discipline. Your safeword remains in place, of course, and negotiation and pre-consent is just as vital for these kinds of play as for any other.

What is BDSM discipline?

When a sub does something that is displeasing to their Dominant, they can choose to punish them in some way. Also, if a sub does something well, they can praise them for it. It is a way of adapting behaviour of a submissive.

Is discipline always physical?

Not always, it can be a raised voice, corner time or writing lines. Masochists, for example, would not find pain to be a deterrent but more of a reward. It could be doing certain chores as well, cleaning cutlery or ironing for example. I’m not sure anyone sees those chores as a treat!

How does consent fit into discipline?

As with everything within BDSM consent is key. A sub or slave will agree in advance to let their dominant discipline them, there will be an agreement on what can be given as a punishment and of course, they can use their safeword at any time if it becomes too much for them. Consent is important through all of BDSM. Especially in areas that deal with emotions and psychology.

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Humiliation play

Humiliation play is a cornerstone of BDSM for many kinksters. Some enjoy physical humiliation and being forced to carry out humiliating acts: serving as a toilet, an ashtray or a piece of furniture for a dominant partner comes into this category. Others like to take on humiliating roles, such as that of an animal or a slave. The most common expression of sexual humiliation in kink, however, is verbal. Name calling and insults are massively common parts of many BDSM encounters, and with consent and pre-discussion can add a fantastic frisson to events! Just make sure you negotiate well in advance - people's limits in this area can be super specific.

Submission - ready to serve?

Submissives get off on giving away their control over themselves: on being directed and compelled, on following orders and losing agency. Some like to do this through bondage and physical restriction; some by feeling psychologically subservient to a dominant partner; some through pain play. Many like a combination of these things. The key to figuring out a fantastic D/s dynamic is communication--make sure both sides of the equation are getting what they want and what they need, and that everyone is well aware of safewords and limits. Some people enjoy having dominance and submission as part of their everyday relationship, while others prefer keeping it in the bedroom. Either of these kink styles is fine - just so long as everyone is on the same page.

For kinksters who love getting spanked

Spanking is probably the most famous kinky activity of all, and millions of people the world over have indulged on occasion. It's generally done with a bare hand; while plenty of people also enjoy getting spanked with a paddle or other tools, this is more often referred to as 'impact play'. Spanking is sometimes used to describe striking someone with a convenient object, such as a belt or a bedroom slipper. Most commonly spanking is aimed at the buttocks, and while other fleshy areas of the body (such as the thighs, breasts or in some cases genitals) can be a lot of fun to spank it's best to stick to fleshy areas. As with all things, do a little research to make sure you're being safe and have a clear negotiation with your partner beforehand to establish what they like, what they want and which safeword they'll use.