What's a pleasure dom? - my story

[Deleted Member]

I'm still very new to the BDSM world; in fact, I didn't even know there was a name for what I liked to do. I have since found out that it's called a pleasure dom. With all names, it doesn't mean the same to everyone, and people's interpretations vary.

So, where do we start? The obvious place is the beginning. I've been married for nearly 20 years, and as with a lot of marriages, the sex was routine and infrequent. I had always had a much higher sex drive than my wife, which had always been frustrating. We decided to spice things up, and we watched some documentaries on the BDSM world and different kinks. I suggested using blindfolds and restraints, which went OK. Neither of us was interested in the *** side of BDSM, so I started buying sensual toys, feathers, brushes, tassels, etc. I then started looking into massage courses, from back massages all the way through to yoni massage. I got some coconut oil and set about giving my wife a full-body massage, including her yoni. As you might expect, the massage went down well. Sex was improving; it was becoming a bit more regular, and we tried new things. Fuelled by the success, I started exploring even more things. I looked at the Dom /Sub relationship. Like a lot of people, I misunderstood how the dynamic works. I thought it was just for controlling people, but thanks to many YouTube videos, I realised I was wrong.

We now move to my awakening. My wife agreed to be restrained and blindfolded; we already knew our boundaries, lots of years together, you learn these things. I started with a massage to relax her, then switched her to lying on her back and started massaging her front, but staying away from her breasts and vulva. As I massaged her thighs every time I got close to the top, she would tense, and when I didn't go any higher, a sigh of disappointment would escape her mouth. It was at this point that a light bulb went off in my head. I didn't like the idea of being dominant and hurting someone; that went against everything I was, but in this moment, I understood the D/S relationship and how it worked. More importantly, I understood how it worked for me. This woman was desperate for me to pleasure her, but I was controlling when that happened, not to punish her, but to heighten the senses and increase the final pleasure. I played this out for nearly 2 hours. After a while, I started touching, then licking, working my way up through the sensation, each time stopping before she came, holding her on the edge for as long as she could take. Then, finally, I could tell I had pushed her as far as I could, so I gave her permission to orgasm. She came 3 times in quick succession until she was a quivering wreck on the bed. I climbed in behind her and cuddled her while she floated down from wherever she had gone.

This was the most amazing moment for both of us. I had just found my purpose, I guess you could say. I wanted to learn more to see what else you can do, how to *** someone with pleasure.

After that night, we tried a few smaller sessions, which I loved. Then came the bombshell: my wife didn't like me being controlling in the bedroom and didn't want to continue exploring. I was devastated. I had just discovered this part of me, and now it had to be put away in a box never to be seen again. That was over 2 years ago. Since then, we have had sex a couple of times, but nothing in the last 18 months.

Fast forward to today, and our relationship is over. I've found a name for what I like, and no box is strong enough to keep it locked up. I want to experiment and learn all about this kink. I want to go to clubs and discuss with other Doms and Subs what they do and find new things to do. Has my kink killed my marriage? No, my marriage was broken way before this; this was just the final straw. All my kinks have done has helped me realise there is more out there to explore, and I want to dive straight in.

So to answer the title, I'm a pleasure dom. I use my dominance to control and heighten my subs' pleasure with the ultimate goal of giving them the most amazing experience I can.

 

To the other pleasure doms out there, what Is your story? How did you discover it?

What do you like about being a pleasure dom?

[Deleted Member]

Thank you for sharing your story with us. Even though it's sad your marriage is over, it's a good thing you can be who you want to be now. I do wish you well on your journey of discoverance :)

[xX****]

If u need help finding out your role hit me up. Im a pleasure/soft dom. Can give u some help

[Vt****]

I had to lock my kink side in a box for years during my marriage ... it has been amazing to be free to explore it!

[Do****]

Thank you for sharing. You're a great writer you had me on the edge (no pun intended) the whole time waiting to find out what happened next. Sorry you spent so many years in a marriage just for it to end. It must feel amazing to be free to be yourself finally.

[Ma****]

Enjoy your liberation and remember that its been my experience that after a long relationship that started out as vanilla its hard to introduce a power dynamic unless by some stroke of luck both partys wanted their respective complimenting roles. There are simply too many memories available to find the fantasy plausible. So good on ya for making a move to better your life.

[PL****]

I'm soo glad you found this part of yourself! I am not a D I'm an s but I'm the ying to your yang in an D/s relationship. If you ever want perspective from a s' side msg me!

[Wo****]

I just found I find so much joy in watching a woman squirm under my touch, to watch her grab the sheets and for the wall and things that aren’t there, eyes rolling back in head. To hear my name moaned over and over begging me for my body and me to use them any way I see fit.

Who knows what I am. I’m enjoying finding out. It’s funny, I wasn’t immediately turned on by impact play, and inflicting *** ect, at least it was never something I thought I would’ve sought out on my own.

Now having done it, it’s quite entertaining and fun to explore the senses of it all, the way a slow drop of hot wax feels on their skin. The effect it has on their body and soul, the way they crave the *** like it’s pleasure in disguise.

[Vt****]

that's kinda beautiful Wowzza...