What makes A Dom come running? What makes you run away?

[Ha****]

Always been curious about this.

As a sub I know loyalty and dedication are number 1 and 2. As well as just being a normal human being with emotions and a realistic expectation and understanding of the persepctive of being a women in the 21st century in the age of social media.

Besides all the common, stuff, what's something that would be a red flag to a dom?

On the other hand what's a lesser known green flag that makes you jump at first sight?

[Mi****]

My biggest red flagd are dishonesty, disloyalty, and disobedience. They rly upset me!

[Mi****]

I can be understanding when it comes to mistakes or difficult situations, but dishonesty is something I find very hard to forgive...

[Mi****]

He should be open & honest about his feelings..

[Zis]

I hate love-bombing! "You are the greatest most beautiful dom with the perfect mindset!" Oh come on...give me a break, you know me for a minute. It has nothing to do with me in that moment, so i cant take the dynamic seriously. Beside that: without liability im out. If there is a dynamic which leads into connection the sub belong to me and I will take care of him, but that is a process. Subs, who dont understand that will go crazy very quickly.

[IC****]

Dishonesty is a huge turn off, as well as possessiveness if you aren't in an exclusive relationship. Being communicative, open, and mutually caring are major attraction points. People have their roles to play in any D/S dynamic sure, but you're both still people and should care for each other appropriately and as best you can. Being a dom is work, being a sub is work. Look out for each other and support each other.

[Qu****]

Biggest red flag is when someone says they have no limits. Also when someone isn't willing to learn.

[Deleted Member]

Lies.. one lie and you are out

[my****]

A red flag is any kind of “take care of me”, “treat me”, or anything that indicates an exchange of submission for ***.

[De****]

I ain’t running for anything. I’m old and my joints hurt.

[La****]

Exclusively a horndog without any conscience, liars/dishonesty, disobedience. Especially if they keen to repeat the things that already told not to be repeated. If its really hard for you to obey and be good, dont be a damn sub. Just giving me headache for no reason.

[Dr****]

My biggest red flag of a sub is indecisiveness. If you can't make up your mind on what you want as a Dom I can't correctly fill your needs until you know your needs. As for what makes me come running it's a certain energy the person has

[Mx****]

My big red flag is when a prospective sub says “ no limits”.

it’s very concerning and often untrue usually it just means inexperienced and overly eager

[an****]

This is regards to play/scenes - when they manipulate things... For instance, i had a bottom where we'd do chastity. And he'd use it against me.. "if you did a better job at topping maybe I'd want to the things youd ask for" at first i thought he was just being bratty..and then i realized it was his way of A. Getting out of things i had set forth and he agreed too/consented too....but also how he was manipulating me to get more from me kink wise than i was comfortable with going at the time....

[ca****]

5 hours ago, MistressJoudy2 said:

My biggest red flagd are dishonesty, disloyalty, and disobedience. They rly upset me!

To piggyback off of this. A true Dom never needs to lie to their sub. There is literally no need and if the D does it’s either that they are not a true D or it’s the subs fault for not being dedicated enough to make the D feel there is no need to lie. While on the other hand if the sub lies they better be looking for a funishment or a brat. Either way it’s the subs fault.

[bl****]

For me, overfocusing on "pleasing the Dom's desires" while not making any effort to understand those. Dishonesty and disregard for safety are also big ones.

[gr****]

Id say its mostly the same things, theres just as much trust involved for a dom as a sub in many ways.

Might also add a dom looking for a, gap? To fill for a sub, like, what can i do to better their life as a dom, what thing do they need to not worry about controlling?

Do they struggle with, i dunno time management, that i can step in and manage it for them

[Dr****]

9 hours ago, canton11826 said:

To piggyback off of this. A true Dom never needs to lie to their sub. There is literally no need and if the D does it’s either that they are not a true D or it’s the subs fault for not being dedicated enough to make the D feel there is no need to lie. While on the other hand if the sub lies they better be looking for a funishment or a brat. Either way it’s the subs fault.

Not always the subs fault can be the doms fault for not providing the subs wants and needs or going past a subs limits and scaring them. Sadly there are some out there that should never be welcomed

[ca****]

2 hours ago, Dru1dF0rc3 said:

Not always the subs fault can be the doms fault for not providing the subs wants and needs or going past a subs limits and scaring them. Sadly there are some out there that should never be welcomed

Yea I guess that’s what I mean by true Dom. A true dom always protects his property even from himself.

[an****]

14 hours ago, ***moan said:

For me, overfocusing on "pleasing the Dom's desires" while not making any effort to understand those. Dishonesty and disregard for safety are also big ones.

Do you feel like this would almost be the equivalent of kinky/sub love bombing? "Do everything they want make them love me fast" type behavior?

[ca****]

12 hours ago, anguisette said:

Do you feel like this would almost be the equivalent of kinky/sub love bombing? "Do everything they want make them love me fast" type behavior?

Interesting 🧐 for some newbies, I’m sure. Most likely unintentional. Subs are rarely narcissists that I have seen.
For veterans that want the connection and peace while they get a feeling that might resemble love it’s the trust and connection of sharing something special that drives them. Think of Brats, they want to be subjugated but it’s not going to be fast or easy. 😝

[ri****]

Yesterday at 04:10 AM, canton11826 said:

To piggyback off of this. A true Dom never needs to lie to their sub. There is literally no need and if the D does it’s either that they are not a true D or it’s the subs fault for not being dedicated enough to make the D feel there is no need to lie. While on the other hand if the sub lies they better be looking for a funishment or a brat. Either way it’s the subs fault.

Said the way only a man could make something not their fault. A lie is a lie. The person who tells the lie is the one at fault. Period. The basis of this lifestyle is trust.

[ca****]

3 hours ago, richland11693 said:

Said the way only a man could make something not their fault. A lie is a lie. The person who tells the lie is the one at fault. Period. The basis of this lifestyle is trust.

Never said the Dom has to be a man. Also I distinguish between a Dom (fake) and a True Dom (real). If a “man” lies to trick, harm, or protect themselves then they are not a True Dom. They are a pretender just in it for themselves.