Commitment issues

[co****]

It seems these days everyone has such commitment issues, I think online dating and sites like this are just making it worse. Everyone has lost such tastes in reality. What brings me to this subject is I have been chatting with a girl for two months daily. After a month I thought we had made a great connection and I felt it was time to take the next step and meet, she agreed. For another month we still had not met. She always had an excuse why she couldn't meet. The other day I put my foot down it's been over 2 months and I want to meet and start a relationship. She blocked me lol. I just dont get it.

What are other people's experiences? Tips for moving things forward? 

Edited November 11, 2025 by FETMod-HG
to encourage discussion

[Deleted Member]

Fully agree with your view on this. Been in a similar situation myself with a woman. They’ll tell you they want commitment and a relationship, but when it comes to it they can’t do it

[si****]

This is only site I get on can relate . Started to chat with a couple girls on here. After a couple days. they want to treat me like an ATM. Got scammed few times. Not on this site but on others . Feel little bummed out about this . Reckon got lot fakes . Least on here they get banned. When found out . Think best play along. And see if there's a hidden agenda. . you will find out soon enough . Sad had to be people like that around . Don't give up. Maybe get lucky and find a real deal.

..

[TheBookCollector]

Sadly some people just want the fantasy and not the real thing, meeting would burst that fantasy.
.
I generally state in a few messages that if we get on a meeting is a must.
.
I also request voice notes, if they dont respond or make excuses they get cut.

[ey****]

working backwards

Like, this type of thing sucks - you think you're going somewhere and then - boom, duck eggs.  And. Actually... there's a lot where the other person might be nervy it's "getting real", or might have their own ***s or insecurities, either about you or about them and they don't always know how to handle them - and that, yeah, issuing an ultimatum at least gives you closure because - well - any insecurities she had is that you're now getting pushy and she probably sees it as a 'nope' - mind, continuing forever for this pending meet might also move you knowhere.

I don't see it as a commitment issue though.  This type of issue has existed as long as dating sites that... actually stepping up to meet is hard.    I guess, it's again where I generally have found things easier from within the kink community cos you know people are gonna show cos they're right there.  

 

[li****]

Same!!!

[Zis]

Maybe this gives hope: i found reel connection, eventhough it didnt last forever but for quite some time. As a femdom it might be easier, but I also had to block subs, who behaved badly and needed to be replaced😉
I have the feeling that a d/s dynamic gives the opportunity for reel and deep connection, because the exist through raw feelings of Lust and obedience.
Just fyi, if someone offers me ***, I always end the contact, because the connection wouldnt have the chance to grow into a relationship..it would be just business.
All the best!

[YegBiBtm721]

3 hours ago, sideswipe said:

This is only site I get on can relate . Started to chat with a couple girls on here. After a couple days. they want to treat me like an ATM. Got scammed few times. Not on this site but on others . Feel little bummed out about this . Reckon got lot fakes . Least on here they get banned. When found out . Think best play along. And see if there's a hidden agenda. . you will find out soon enough . Sad had to be people like that around . Don't give up. Maybe get lucky and find a real deal.

..

There are women or who knows even if they are women , that scam on most dating sites. Big clue, is asap they want to go on WhatsApp or ***am or they want you to join their OF page and we will hook up baby, I guarantee it.  I know how you feel.  Or, if they are thousands of miles away but say, we can work it out, trust me.

[Deleted Member]

"Women" versus scammers - the two are not synonymous!! Healthy people (and many of us who aren't prime health but non-toxic toward others) do not act like that. Nefarious entities can act like that. Toxic people might present with ghosting.

Some folks just want the input / support / dopamine hit etcetera from mingling online, with or without sincerity to engage offline, and many don't even realise these patterns and such.

Not defending. Offering perspective.

The onset of internet and sites and apps has merely allowed for people to engage each other in different ways, and aren't all out to scam you!

The length of time might not run for some as it does for you. And also, sometimes, people just flake. *** happens. Rethinking things happens....

Please don't hold that experience, even if not isolated to one person, against the whole of womanhood or kink or even apps. Ebb and Flow, friend.

[Deleted Member]

31 minutes ago, YegBiBtm721 said:

There are women or who knows even if they are women , that scam on most dating sites. Big clue, is asap they want to go on WhatsApp or ***am or they want you to join their OF page and we will hook up baby, I guarantee it.  I know how you feel.  Or, if they are thousands of miles away but say, we can work it out, trust me.

There are so many legitimate instances wherein these "tells" you've mentioned aren't that.
I've had difficulties with devices + network connection + familial and household sudden issues arising + tech problems with apps and on and on.
I just don't want folks thinking errantly regarding these matters and how so many people don't truly understand how things work, and end up blaming the wrong entity/group.

[Deleted Member]

That sounded like somebody that either felt threatened by you demanding that you guys meet or they were scamming wasting thier time. Due to distance and scheduling conflicts I have talked to people for years and never met them. The only thing that makes me want to cut them off is if they bring up meeting me. I agree, then cancel after cancel or reschedule after reschedule that is a red flag to me. I put it in their hands, date, time, location, thier choice. I will be there. They don't show up, reschedule, cancel, ghosts then we're done. Thats it, meet or not, no losses other then time and I can make that up with someone else that actually wants it.

[Ta****]

After two months of texting without meeting - you want to rush into a relationship. And give her an ultimatum.
Sounds like you have the commitment issue, in the sense you want a relationship pronto, without knowing the other person at all, just to be in a relationship.
She did the right thing by blocking you.

[li****]

Tuesday at 11:49 PM, YegBiBtm721 said:

There are women or who knows even if they are women , that scam on most dating sites. Big clue, is asap they want to go on WhatsApp or ***am or they want you to join their OF page and we will hook up baby, I guarantee it.  I know how you feel.  Or, if they are thousands of miles away but say, we can work it out, trust me.

I wouldn't say that everyone who did that is a scammer, though. I like to use ***am so I can do a video call that works better, and I can see them for who they say they are. Plus, the messaging is better. This app sometimes gets the order of sent wrong and can cause miscommunication. But again, that is just me.

[mb****]

I think it depends on situation
being in a poly/open relationship my partner and people he has meet online if they connect meet pretty quickly or video chat and 90% of the time they want to meet me

As I just decided to socialize and look for partners we discussed this for me I don’t do well with people in my area that I don’t have real interaction with but that could be every 10 weeks