How to convince partner (Her) that this is what we need.

[ve****]

I am really turned on by femdom . The pegging . The degrading. ***fulness. To be told what to do how to do it and punished if not done properly. But my gf is like me and wants to be the sub always. Meaning I rarely get what I need. There for not giving her what she needs.

[Deleted Member]

Unfortunately I don't think it's a case of convincing her. If that isn't what she likes or is comfortable doing then it wouldn't be fair or nice to try and push her into it. You just maybe aren't as sexually compatible as you would like. It's unfortunate but quite common.

This is why in my personal experience I do not play with switch's, i know I could never give them the Domme side they crave and wouldn't want it to ever be an issue no matter how much they insist they are happy to dominate in the beginning.

I hope you can find a solution or see if she's open to the idea of you finding a Domme outside of your relationship to fulfil that need.

[ve****]

Then you need a Dom that will use you both!

[ey****]

what you seem to like is very fantasy based.   Being told what to do puts extra labour on someone; and the being punished if not done properly gives you no incentive to do it properly (since failure helps you get what you want) and so in turn puts more labour on the person.  

I mean. Of course, there's nothing wrong with having fantasies; but it's also important to understand these are not always practical parts of a relationship.  

A conversation you might be better having.  Your fantasies do little to help or serve your partner.  You need to accept this - but you could ask the question of whether it would be OK to seek someone else out for occasional play - not limited to paying a Pro. 

[Deleted Member]

12 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

Being told what to do puts extra labour on someone; and the being punished if not done properly gives you no incentive to do it properly (since failure helps you get what you want) and so in turn puts more labour on the person.  

Ah. You always explain things so well. 

[ey****]

1 hour ago, RosebroomRoeshot said:

Ah. You always explain things so well. 

thank you

I've been trying to write a blog post for days that this sort of post is an example of.  

There's an old quote that is basically "More women would be into Femdom if men made it benefit them" and - well - it's often apt.