Male-female dynamics: dogma of mutual anal play

[xx****]

It seems like a lot of women are cool with receiving anal, but returning it is most often not on the table.
I would like to hear from all sides on the matter.

What about this would be a turn off and for those that are into this what about it is turn on?

For the women how would this make you see the guy in this type of dynamic?

For the guys how many of you have experienced this type of reaction and how did you handle it

[Ka****]

My Master loves anal okay. He likes his prostrate massaged with toys during sex and oral sex. He loves when I rim him. I am happy to do whatever pleases him and I find his reaction really eggs me on and adds to my own enjoyment. But it takes trust and a bond. I’ve never done this to another man. Nor do I think I could. It is how I see him. First with my heart then my eyes.

[Deleted Member]

I receive anal from my woman. We bought a strap-on and she bends me over the couch and fucks me from behind. She is happy to do it because it also turns her on.

[LadyV]

12 minutes ago, xxxfrenchvanilla said:

It seems like a lot of women are cool with receiving anal, but returning it is most often not on the table.
I would like to hear from all sides on the matter.

What about this would be a turn off and for those that are into this what about it is turn on?

For the women how would this make you see the guy in this type of dynamic?

For the guys how many of you have experienced this type of reaction and how did you handle it

How it would make me see the guy is irrelevant because people doing anal or not doing anal doesn't affect ANYTHING about how I see them as a person. It also has nothing to do with my feelings of reluctance around giving anal play to a guy. 

 

My hesitancy around performing anal play on the average cishet man is mostly due to the fucked up socialization of cishet men making it an extremely unattractive prospect. And, to a lesser degree, my own sense of physical dysphoria about the experience. 

 

Regarding the grotesque thought and behavior patterns of most cishet men, their socialization seems to lead them to all follow these horrible tendencies:

1. They view receiving penetration as an inherently submissive and inferior thing. As a Dominant woman with internal anatomy that doesn't get much pleasure with external and internal stimulation and who frequently engages in penetrative sex: the way cishet men view being penetrated as submissive/inferior is very closely tied with a lot of misogyny that those men really aren't bothering to address or consider how it makes their partners feel to know THAT is how he's viewing penetration. It's extremely off-putting and a turn-off. 

2. Anal isn't that interesting or exciting when my nerve endings aren't attached to the fucking toy, man. The stimulus is very one-sided and labor intensive for no personal gains beyond "the joy of pleasing him." Which, sure, can be enough to merit doing it sometimes but it shouldn't be surprising that someone doesn't want to exert of ton of physical effort and strain for something they typically get nothing back from. Even giving oral isn't that labor intensive. 

3. Women's hips aren't built very well to do it. Our hips exist at more of a hard angled tilt because of the nature of birth canals. This means that there is twice the effort involved for us to do it properly and men are largely totally inconsiderate of that. 

4. Vast majority of men don't do anal prep appropriately or AT ALL. Doing anal on men is a very disgusting game of Russian roulette but there's only 1 in 6 chance the chamber is empty. 🤢 Not to mention the body hygiene in general of most men isn't exactly known for being top notch. Getting over your ass is a lot harder to want to do when your ass crack stinks like you haven't showered in three days (because you haven't). 

5. Men either expect the woman to provide the toys and equipment necessary to please his ass or they have some strappy porny harness they got because they thought was hot to look at... but it's going to be a nightmare for the woman to actually wear and use. This is another thing men are incredibly inconsiderate about. Those strappy strapons men find so hot...suck to wear and use. The lower and inner thigh straps are going to grind her skin raw in minutes and leave her with what feels and looks like a rash or rug burn after. It's not fun. 

 

And from a personal dysphoria standpoint:

Wearing a fake dick feels dysphoric to me and makes me physically uncomfortable and repulsed in a very psychological way. I don't know how to articulate that other than to compare it to what I imagine trans people experience regarding gender/body dysphoria. Having a phallus-like object attached to me makes my skin want to crawl off my body, I'm so repelled by it. In order to do anal play on a man, I have to suppress a lot of psychological discomfort.

 

I have done anal play on men and male bodied people and I'll probably do it again, but all my statements about it still stand. 

[st****]

Pretty much no women I've ever dated was open to anal sex. 99.9 percent not going to happen

[st****]

Well I shower every day and I'm really particular on hygiene. Clean, no hair cause that's disgusting.

[be****]

So as a straight male, i have no issue with pegging. It was honestly one of the best orgasms I had ever had. Then again, I’m also very secure in myself, my sexuality and my masculinity to say that it doesn’t bother me. I’m very hygienic and use a bidet to ensure that I’m always clean.

[xx****]

No i could actually see where she is coming from in a lot of ways. I almost put in the original discussion topic that in this scenario its completely clean inside (which ill admit unless you know what your doing and go above and beyond with a hose can be super gross)

Plus i was more talking about throwing plug in him and either giving him a blow job or having him fuck her while it’s in. I personally dont like the idea of being fucked just because it makes me feel more *** than just throwing a toy in there. Dont get me wrong if a chick wanted to id be down, but in my head my preference is more the physical sensation of having a toy inside. And i guess cause iv been playing like that since forever the whole prep thing is a given for me. I recently had a chick i was talking to about anal with her and asked her if she hoses her self out beforehand so she’s clean inside. She told me if your not willing to get shit on your dick you dont deserve anal. For me i find it near a chore because i like to eat light the day prior and nothing for the whole day preferably at least 20 hrs or so and if i cant get it stupid clean fast enough ill just wait till the next day. Diet and eating habits are very much considered on my part. And i personally cant enjoy the experience unless its like pornstar clean inside. I also realize my personal preference for the mandatory completely clean inside is not the standard for many. I can totally get how if it was gross inside it would be a negative experience for her. I also understand thats not a rule for all. I think its pretty cool that even though she had has these reasons why she wouldnt do it she still might later on. I can respect that in a lot of ways. And actually her thoughts on the matter have been helpful. Im curious if going over my personal and prep preferences beforehand would be of benefit in future situations to quell some of my partners concerns assuming they are similar to hers.

Thankyou ladyV what you said was actually very much what i was looking for

[Sl****]

This was the final straw in our partnership. It’s been in decline since New Year’s because we’re not aligning emotionally. She makes gutters noises when I craft my tongue down there but she flat out sent my request to entertain any idea right up Uranus, ending with “I’m selfish.”
But we both gained valuable self awareness with the relationship.

[ey****]

funny, cos, I've often seen it the other way round - happy to give but not received (and the "not receive" often understandable - due to the lack of prostate and it sometimes being quite ***ful, that a lot of guys are into it to humiliate the other, or leave them sexually disappointed)

I can kinda get why a lady into receiving anal might not be so keen on giving it... I suspect men's personal hygiene could be a big factor.

[xx****]

Yeah i mean i totally get the hygiene factor. I was talking to someone recently and they had no idea what was involved in actually getting it clean inside. If you dont know what you are doing it can still be gross. Thats one of the reasons why for me diet and timing meals around playtime are a must.

Its hard for me to understand things that i cant see myself doing. Even if its not something i would do but can imagine it i can usually understand it. so the humiliating the other is like speaking another language for me. I understand some of it kinda but really not on a fundamental level that registers

[Hezzair]

4 hours ago, xxxfrenchvanilla said:

Yeah i mean i totally get the hygiene factor. I was talking to someone recently and they had no idea what was involved in actually getting it clean inside. If you dont know what you are doing it can still be gross. Thats one of the reasons why for me diet and timing meals around playtime are a must.

Its hard for me to understand things that i cant see myself doing. Even if its not something i would do but can imagine it i can usually understand it. so the humiliating the other is like speaking another language for me. I understand some of it kinda but really not on a fundamental level that registers

Yes hygiene and timing are so important with anal prep. I have no problem with rimming someone as long as they do good prep on themselves. I just don't want to end up in contact with unnecessary items. Then you can focus on relaxing and pleasure.

[Sl****]

I never bothered to play back there but when caught in the moment I tested the landscape, she responded so wildly that I added that joy.
I’m a clean freak but the spontaneity pulled me in! I get that someone has an aversion to giving but I would never push anything like that. And for the prostate for myself now that I’ve none since cancer? There’s still some feelings which are pleasureful but I can leave it yet still make a point to soap up the tunnel when showering.

[Hi****]

I’m actively looking for a woman who will return the favor

[Mi****]

Not in my experience. Men are usually quick to say they aren't into it and I can tell some of them aren't being honest but are afraid to admit to wanting it. And it's often the ones who protest the loudest about how much they aren't into it that typically do end up wanting to do it and I find that super funny and ironic. It's to the point where if a man calls it anything remotely homophobic, I just assume he's secretly really into it