Subbing for the first time

[Deleted Member]

I’ve been wanting to explore a submissive role for a while now, and have been talking with someone who seems interested and we both wanna meet up. I’ve been always been the dominant in my past relationships/experiences. But, I feel nervous about it. Maybe it’s down to trying something new for the first time or maybe I’m not ready do it - I genuinely would love to explore it. Just wondering if anybody has any advice on the matter.

[ap****]

It’s scary at first, cause new thing. Just make sure you vibe with them first. Idk if you’ve met in person yet, but that can be a totally different thing than just talking. So take it slow, and if you feel like not doing it in the moment - you can always change your mind.
First time I tried, I bailed after meeting. They were nice about it, and we met up again and it was great. I was just too nervous. So just make sure you’re comfortable.

[No****]

I can’t stress this enough…communication is EVERYTHING. Discuss soft limits, hard limits,desires, safe words, expectations, experience level, kinks, dynamics….everything. If not before u have a first meet then in the first meet itself. Never enter into a bedroom without discuss all of these things. I promise u it will take a lot of the anxiety of submitting out of the equation and will filter out any dommes that don’t take the role seriously. Good luck!! 🖤

[ad****]

I’m not actually like experienced but one thing that I didn’t know could happen that I wish someone told me is a possibility (everyones different so it might not happen idk) is that when you’re coming down from subspace you can get reallllly sleepy and uber ultra mega cuddly

[ey****]

it's cool you're in a position where it's something you want to explore, and you have someone up to meet

but before you meet, you both need to decide what sort of things you want to explore.  Whether it's submissive just in play, if so what activities that involves? If you're exploring being her/a sub outside of play, and what she would expect from that.

Cos like, a lot of guys like the idea of being a sub - but really they mean in play, on their terms. Which... is an issue if it's not what the other person expects. 

[Pa****]

I was once told, “To be the best Dom, you must be comfortable as a sub. Otherwise you can’t truly understand what it is you hold, appreciate the position, or respect the control that you have been given.”

It is something that I offer to all partners, as it is only fair, and demonstrates a level of trust and respect. So as to say “I wouldn’t do anything to you, that I wouldn’t to myself”.

I am yet to try any form of a sub roll, or participate in a switch position. However, it is something that I am interested in, and actively looking to explore.

I’m curious by nature (though very straight), I am obviously curious as to what it feels like to be on the other side. And honestly, I get aroused when she takes control. To be in that space of not having to think, just saying “yes Ma’am”.

Like anything, there is going to be a learning curve, and a shift in comfort levels.
But, if you give in, not concerned about “how you’ll perform”, instead focusing on enjoying it, then I can promise you will.
Don’t let the pressure rest on your shoulders, just be a good pet and do as your told.
Hand the pressure to your partner, as they are the one in control, and lead the show.

[Pa****]

3 hours ago, adamndollysub said:

I’m not actually like experienced but one thing that I didn’t know could happen that I wish someone told me is a possibility (everyones different so it might not happen idk) is that when you’re coming down from subspace you can get reallllly sleepy and uber ultra mega cuddly

It’s the hormones and chemicals released, when you have someone taking care of you. It’s natural to build a rather strong connection to them emotionally.
Men are different, in terms of different chemicals and hormones (estrogen vs testosterone). But it’s more or less the same connection, just expressing can be different.

[Ma****]

If it helps, exploring submission for the first time isn’t just about trying a new role, it’s about knowing why you want it and what you need to feel safe. Nervousness is normal, but meeting someone without clarity on your boundaries, motivations and expectations can put a lot of pressure on the other person to define the experience for you. Taking a moment to understand yourself first isn’t a delay, it’s what makes a first experience grounded and positive.