Daddy / Pleasure Dom…Tell Me More

[el****]

I fantasize about having a Dom. I’ve met and talked with a few online. Tell me more about your relationship with your sub/Dom. What is the vanilla part like, what is it like leading up to play, how do you play? What’s it like in bed? Give me the reality, not the fantasy.

[Br****]

Normal life is kinda simple I make sure my partner drinks water and eats healthy food. There's also lots of cuddling and praising her throughout the day. 💜

[Deleted Member]

I have had many different subs myself and each one is different. I wanted to learn how to be more than one kind of dom. When my partner wants a pleasure dom I try to set strict rules like making sure they drink water or remember to eat something and if they forget I might have the edge themselves a few times or make them cum readily till they beg for mercy. When my partner needs more of a soft down for subs who are littles i do my best to make she they feel safe and loved. When I am my daddy dom self I tend to be very flirty in the best way but also have strict expectations of behavior and spankings or edging are fantastic tools. Being a dom is a lot more work than people realize. It is willingly taking care of another person. The means weeks or months of talking/dating to build trust. Then you have to develop safe words or contracts if your into things like cnc. Then you have to go over after care. From there it is a power exchange most think the dom holds all the power but in fact it is the sub because they can always remove consent. A dom only has as much power over a sub as the sub gives them.

[Vy****]

It really depends on the setting and how involved it is. Having your Dom also be a partner you live with is one way, but there are a lot of other possibilities. I had very types of relationships with my subs based on what the underlying relationship is.
Rn I have multiple Subs, the underlying relationship being F+, so it is usually a fairly hard shift. Pleasure Dom works great for that because you can do it remotely with the right toys and in person and you can give fairly simple homework, use remote toys for fun games/punishments throughout the day and if you are able to meet up you can really let loose and make them beg to stop cumming.
The key ist aftercare and quality interactions. The less time and interaction you have - because you do not live together or maybe not even in easy travel distance - the more the quality matters.
I have 1 Sub I can only see once a month in person, so I usually do a lot of enganging and fun little challenges. The switch is simple with me being a friend because any interaction inside the app for the toy is always with her Dom not her Friend.
For Meetings I make sure we both have the entire day cleared. I sleep over, and day starts with her Dom. I usually do a pretty exhausting and tough session with her early on and spend the entire Rest of the day on mainly aftercare, bringing the energy back down. Cuddling, spending time, if she is not sore and does not get cramps there might even be very soft vanilla sex involved.
The others explained the Rest pretty well already. Just wanted to give a bit of a different perspective.

[Ba****]

Well my last partner was a friendship+ with a pro-domme leaning switch with big mommy energy and some mild masochistic tendencies

On the vanilla side i was a friend, part time roommate and occasional pimp and she was the one making sure i ate good and regularly and when i was sick she’d bathe me to the chorus of me in protest about the indignity of my situation

On the kinky side it was more a non-exclusive and uneven „lab partnership“, with her having more knowledge/experience and me having more power/agency, operating somewhere between assumed/implied consent and free use
So the lead up was usually between casually aggressive, like her slapping my ass ti „demand“ a spanking or me just randomly manhandling her into position to tie her up, or just straight up asking for things, like when we wanted to try something new, like she learned that breath play is to intense for her to be more than a fantasy and i learned that fisting can break your thumb if she isn’t extra relaxed

Overall we went from me sheltering a homeless friend of my roommate in my bed over having each others house keys to use each others sleeping bodies to „just“ great friends in the span of around 5years
It’s been a lot of fun and highly educational

I‘m not much of a „daddy“ but we broke a lot of vibrators via overuse so i think this should at least be sort of relevant to the „pleasure dom“ part and we fucked a whole lot, i seriously went from a little chubby to shredded sixpack in the first 3months just from sex(i lost 15kg while eating more and better food) and the structure was usually preparation/foreplay starting with bondage or impact play and orgasm control until she begged for penetration, then sex until i was done and she was no longer able to make human noises(she was the first who never gave up before that) and then for aftercare it was mostly things like staying „connected“ until well after i fully deflated and lots of cuddles and massages with the occasional first aid as necessary(not always just for her)

[Pi****]

I never felt more cared for by a person and that's including my 14 year marriage before my dom. Clear communication, clear signals and phrases for safety, respect for boundaries without question or pushback. I was even able to heal from s.a. trauma because of it.

[Deleted Member]

8 hours ago, PixelPusher said:

I never felt more cared for by a person and that's including my 14 year marriage before my dom. Clear communication, clear signals and phrases for safety, respect for boundaries without question or pushback. I was even able to heal from s.a. trauma because of it.

I am glad that you found a dom who could help you feel safe enough to heal all the hurt that others caused.

[je****]

I've been with a couple Doms, one was a 1 time thing but we talked for about 2 months before meeting up. We got to know each other, we talked about limits hard and soft we talked about what we were going to do when we met up. The sex was out of this world im into impact play so by the time we were done I was marked up everywhere. My 2nd Dom we met like normal people at a Mardi Gras party. I didn't even know he was a Dom or into the life. We just clicked i learnt about this side of him he took me out we had fun then we went to his house and he basically stirred my insides he likes biting 🫦 and I like being bitten. I like hand necklaces so he gave me one I wanted him to use my holes so he did. Every action was a check in to make sure it was okay and that I was okay. He fed me and made sure I stayed hydrated then gave me a shower to help me clean up before I had to leave.

[ce****]

Yes, I agree @tomaine2U she does need a regular daddy!

[Ri****]

everything gets better when you learn to communicate both the good and bad parts of your experience. as to the leading up, anticipation can be tricky... in my opinion, it is better to be present and avoid fantasizing where the scene leads. I find that over fantasizing leads to disappointments or lowered satisfaction.

[Mr****]

In vanilla life, there is equally and egalitarianism in every aspect. Each holds space for the other. Boundaries much like agreed roles transcend the bedroom and kink once a deep connection exists. I've actually found it provides a more open, honest and productive "vanilla" relationship because of the establishment emphasis on communicating needs and establishing/respecting one another's boundaries. As you specifically mentioned what it's like in bed, it can be equally intense as it can be soft and nurturing because the dynamic holds a level of connection that a lot of relationships lack

[Su****]

Our D/s relationship is normal from day to day doing life together working out, talking while having breakfast together etc we like structure so when we do have sessions it is very controlled. I don’t have boundaries with him it isn’t necessary as he knows me and in in tune with my limits, aftercare etc

[Si****]

I really don't see how it can work without a connection on a few different levels. Dom as I am, I'm always putting my partner first.