Long-term dynamics (with anxiety)

[Dark_Norse_Heart666]

Unfortunately my long-term boyfriend that was my daddy Dom, that I have been with for 5 years became emotionally distant, emotionally unavailable, avoidant of of me for whatever reason which was never explained to me.
I didn't do anything obviously wrong, we didn't have an arguement either, and technically didn't officially break up either, but he hasn't been online on Telegram (a messaging app) and he never sent me a message as a explanation, no message of reassurance.

The reason why I wanted to make a post is due to having anxiety, not always knowing if the way a guy is acting is normal or borderland abusive and exploitative sometimes.
I have had previous DD/lg dynamics that were dom/sub dynamics but they were abusive dynamics, and non consensual things have happened with men in the past, so I don't fully trust men or people in general due to that, I have been self destructive in the past but I'm not anymore.

Is it normal to have anxiety if you are into BDSM or relationship anxiety if you have had abusive relationships/dynamics?
I feel like a minority of men are predatory towards me due to specific kinks/fetishes that I am into and due to being a submissive masochist, I can be a little bit naive & too trusting of the wrong people because some men have a fake persona and pretend to be what I want them to be and use my empathy, kindness against me on purpose, they have a superficial charm, and seem nice, seem trustworthy on the surface when they aren't.

Every dom/sub dynamic I have had has unfortunately abruptly ended for no apparent reason, I would have strict boundaries now, I am always direct & honest about what I want/need from a dynamic and the fact that I am sexually repressed due to non consensual things that have happened with men, abusive relationships and not feeling physically, or emotionally safe enough to fully trust a man and open up to them without feeling like I can't be myself or the person would have the audacity to judge)shame me for being into BDSM, to slut shame me, fat shame me, or to specifically to judge & shame me for openly and honestly expressing myself in a sexual context or for having any sexual desire or sexual fantasies at all so whenever I do express myself in that context then I feel ashamed and disgusting afterwards 🤨
Any advise would be appreciated. Not everyone is comfortable with expressing themselves in a secual context, and it makes me feel anxious, uncomfortable and overwhelmed due to how men have treated me in the past, I'm not a overly sexual person and people in general have taken her roleplaying online out of context due to being sexually repressed, it wasn't a mutual and respectful exchange most of the time.

[Firepit]

You deserve a straight answer to a straight question either way

[Ar****]

I understand what you mean! I’ve gone through an abusive dynamic that exasperated my anxiety. I struggled so much trying not to chase reassurance and stand strong in my worth. It’s hard when you don’t know other people’s intentions which is why I take my vetting process so seriously. I want to make sure I know this person enough to trust them with control.

In your circumstance, I’ve found being upfront with what has been bothering you is the best option. It’s not being needy or insecure. It’s reinforcing what you need to feel safe in a connection. If you feel a partner is letting you down in a certain area it is absolutely within reason to raise that concern. Especially in D/s.

[Sassypants]

The dominant and submissive relationship is built on trust and respect. It goes without saying that somebody who dominates you also protects you from physical harm and emotional harm.
For whatever reason its too uncomfortable for them to admit the truth why they ghosted you.
Maybe they weren’t being 100% transparent all along maybe their situation changed, but either way you deserve an explanation. Even if you did never find out why, know that you are valuable, you deserve love and it is not your fault

[metronome]

Everybody likely feels anxiety at one time or another for varying reasons. That you're a bdsm aficionado would probably give rise to more opportunities for anxiety. That said, how you feel is in your hands, regardless of what others say. You seem to have reached a crossroad where you evaluate and make a decision. No easy road but I wish you success.

[la****]

It's difficult for submissive littles to be open about their kinks. It's a *** place and not everyone will understand. Some will even try to take advantage. I feel like purposely ignoring your little is a form of ***/neglect. If they understand this space, they should understand that it hurts. It's a connection that requires a lot of trust.

On the other hand, we are adults. Unfortunately daddies can't read our minds, despite us wanting them to. Sometimes we have to express our doubts and get reassurance, which is also part of a daddies job. We have to decide who we let access us. If someone isn't being open and honest with you, then they don't deserve to be in your life.

I hope things get better for you.

[Dark_Norse_Heart666]

Thanks for everyone's comments, it's helpful, I decided to block my long-term boyfriend on Telegram, we were together for 5 years.