My Online Kink Match

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This an excerpt from soon to be published book in the Dear Jay D series by Jay D Strapper (my pen name).

Dear Jay D,

I am a fan of your writing and have enjoyed the both series you have out especially the Wentworth series. My name is Anna. I thought you might be interested in my initial foray into kink world for your Dear Jay D series. I am a middle aged woman in her low forties but I think I look younger or at least hope I do. I have a medium build on the curvy side, have some tattoos and a nose ring. Nothing spectacular but in keeping with my persona. Certainly I can still cause the men to look. I have three *** and am closing in on being an empty nester now. My husband and I divorced several years ago, I had one other significant relationship which also ended some years back and I have finally decided that perhaps it is time for some me time now that the kids can at least be left alone for some short episodic periods of time. I have long tended towards kinky sex but my husband and his replacement were not fans preferring a much more vanilla variety of sex. In high school I was introduced to mild forms of BDSM and discipline and have fantasized about it for most of my life. Because I still have kids at home who are lead active lives, I am extremely busy. I have a career for myself, which while not tremendously well paid, I do not want to lose. Needless to say, my style is some what cramped. I have some short periods of time to myself but nothing that can take me long distances. I have to be discrete in what I do since I live in a very small town isolated in the a rural area of Midwestern state. Most people from my town commute to one of the larger towns or cities in the area which is at least a 30 minute drive. When I finally decided to join the dating pool again, I decided I wanted to live out my fantasies before it is too late. I had little luck with the traditional methods of finding a partner and it has become a familiar discussion among me and my friends as we go out on girls nights at local bars or joints. We have a pretty good group of six of us who attend together regularly. Two of the six are still married and four of us are single. All of us are dismayed when we look across the potential targets for our lust. For the most part, they seem to be squishy in nature, too young, and far too immature for most of us. While a few of us have had some luck, including me, there has been only one of us who was truly successful long term. Once night when we had spent most of the night complaining, Barb started to explain to all of us the ins and outs of online dating and matching. She described the normal things that most of us have read in the magazines and online but also delved into how important it was to have not only the correct matching site but also that preparation is the key to success. She had my attention. The rest of the girls kind of pushed the advice off but I knew if I really wanted to pursue my interests, I had few other paths. It would be unlikely for me (and it certainly had not happened yet for me) to find what I was looking for in a small town where everybody knows everybody. Also I am even more limited since my time periods are short and sporadic. I can free up some times during the day or night but not much, not often, and it is erratic at best. I figured my only shot was some kind of way to target a dating pool and that seemed to be what she was talking about. I waited a few days until I could get her alone for a serious talk on how to proceed.

We sat drinking coffee while I explained to her that I had several issues I was trying to deal with. First, my life was seemingly passing me by. Here I was middle aged, burdened (not unhappily) with *** that needed to be raised, living in a very small town, and on top of that wanted to live out at least some of my fantasies while I still could. She smiled as I told her all of this all in rush to get it out. She gently felt me out about my kinky needs, not getting too much into the specifics but understanding that I was not looking for a vanilla type relationship nor even demanding some kind of long term relationship. I was clear I was fine with simple dating or even just friends with benefits kinds of situations. My point was that I wanted to live. I was not even sure at that point exactly what I was looking for but rather that I wanted something more than I had. I wanted to feel excitement, adventure, ***, and kinds of other things I spelled out for her but also needed it to be discrete, safe, and close by. While I described it to her, I realized that all of those things were at odds with each other in many ways and I started to slow my rush of excitement about trying to have it all. The same doubts I previously had began to surface up anew. My outpouring of emotion and facts started to slow down until I just finally stopped talking.

Barb kind of smiled at me and said “Look, we just need to go through this methodically and sort it all out. First, there are a million of these online dating apps. We will do some research and find the right ones for you to try out. The other issues we can sort out by concentrating on what you need versus what you want. Once you do that, we can lay out a way forward when you get to the point of getting some guys contacting you. So lets see. First, you will have to concentrate your dating pool. So we will make some compromises. The first thing that is absolutely required is to limit the geographic distance guys will have to come to you. I suggest that most guys will not routinely date outside of a 60 mile circle or so although they might say they will travel to see you. They will travel for sure if sex is promised but otherwise no. So for that compromise, perhaps to extend the size of your dating pool, there are other compromises you will make. But that can all come later. First we should research the dating sites and find ones that might be of interest.” She was right that there were a lot of dating sites and apps. It was almost bewildering. There is a site for almost any kind of person out there from cougars and guys interested in them, to vanilla sites, to specific religious apps, and of course all of the different LGBTQ sites as well. We used search engines to look for articles and advice on the best Kink sites and then used some AI to try to get more information as well. When we were done I had a list of about 10 kinky sites that came recommended and had reviews of all of them from reputable sources such as new links. Barb demanded that we get the list down to less than three since as she said, I could always expand after I got some experience with the different sites. I picked the three that seemed to have the most promise for me and then we went in to explore the apps themselves. All three had some kinds of cut rate services or introductory offers going on them so it was relatively cheap to just go ahead and subscribe to them knowing I could always cancel the service in the future and move to another one. In each one, after I set up a rudimentary account had all kinds of features and Barb told me that I had to learn how to use all the features. Each had a way to communicate with others on the apps, all had some kind of forum and some way to get help which would be important in the future. Each had a personality test to take and an easy way to set up profile so that others could find me as they scrolled around the app. Pretty basic stuff but for someone who had never done it, it as a little overwhelming for me. Barb was insistent that once I got used to using the apps, I would become more comfortable with it. The more I used it the more I would get out of it. “Of course, you should not obsess over it either. You can't spend your life online. The other thing to remember is that this is a process. You may not get good results, no matter how hard you try, right away. First you have to get comfortable and get your profile fine tuned. You will need some good pictures of yourself to put and that takes time. Some of the sites allow you to post personal ads, status changes, threads of things you want to talk about and all kinds of other ways to get your face out there. You need to learn to use them all. Above all else, you will need to have the courage to put yourself out there and that means chatting online with others. The worst thing that can happen to you in chatting with someone is that they either ignore you or cut it short. Otherwise you will be just fine as long as you stay on the app and not change to another form of communication which might make your personal information *** or meeting up with someone you have not vetted or met in a public space face to face.” She showed me some of the areas that had basic rules to follow with online dating, promised to help me take some more attractive pictures of me,and then told me she would spend some more time helping me tune me in the ins and outs of online dating before leaving me alone with my phone app and computer.

It seemed a little overwhelming to me but I dug in doing the research on the sites and also in search engines looking for pitfalls to avoid. There was a lot of information to take in and while I was doing all of that, my profile on those sites was active and already I was getting some attention although not a lot. Over the next couple of days I got my share of immature posts that were lewd, crude and lascivious. I also got some messages that contained dick pictures. That was an unwelcome surprise as was the crude messages and comments directed towards me. It was almost enough to discourage me but I also looked at other profiles and saw that it was not an uncommon occurrence for everyone so I powered through. Mostly I ignored the early messages and comments until I started to understand the apps better. I figured this was early days yet. The one thing I figured out early on was that I needed some way to sort the wheat from the chaff. There seemed to be a lot of chaff. At the same time, the more I explored the apps the more comfortable I started to feel. I learned a lot about fake profiles, bots, and AI chats. It took me some false leads to discover how to spot the up front – such as pictures that looked too good to be true, chats where the other person could not answer basic questions about their specific towns, reluctance to provide any kind of specific information about themselves and finally some things that just seemed to robotic or artificial. What I did not do was initiate any chats with someone else although I did like some pictures of others. For the first few days I did kind of obsess over the apps. Then my interest in two of them started to die. I just was not feeling good about what I was seeing. One of them just did not have the features I thought were valuable and the other one seemed to have the same population over and over again. I noted that the app I liked most was the oldest one and the one that had been most highly rated. I focused more and more on that app.

Barb came over about three days after we signed me up for the apps. By that time, I had gone through all of the different profile settings and fine tuned my personality test. I did not want to fully pick all the choices of things I might be interested in so I erred on the side of caution and just pick a few of my possible interests within the kink world and made it as generic as possible while still indicating my general interests. I had also taken Barbs advice and started thinking of what I needed versus what I wanted. I certainly was not goin to find nor was I ready for all the things that I wanted. Wants after all are unlimited but needs could be limited. Within the description on my profile, I decided I needed to concentrate on my immediate needs and let the future be for my unlimited wants. Barb helped me rewrite my description so it was clear that I could not host anyone in my home, at least for the immediate future. People that wanted I wanted to meet would have to be local in nature and we looked at the surrounding area of my town and decided that a 50 mile radius would be appropriate. I could meet a guy halfway and still be a reasonable distance fro home but have it be discrete enough to protect my reputation. While I want a longer term relationship in the future, I decided to be honest with myself that it was unlikely to happen in the near future so I might have to just concentrate on dating or sessions with someone knowing that I could live out my fantasies to some degree without expectation that each guy would fall in love for me. That did not mean that I would not be picky but rather it meant that I had to have patience and hope that events would fall into line in the future for something more long term. One nice thing about the site I was concentrating on was that it had a long list of kinks that I could look at and decide yes, maybe or no to them and use those as limits. I also had a good idea of some things that were just off the table at least for now so I set limits up in my profile. Barb made a few other useful suggestions. One was that I think of the entire effort as a program – exactly what did I want to get out of it. Did I just want to date and have male companionship, or did I want to advance my own knowledge, skills, abilities and attributes. Also how open was I going to be suggesting the fantasies that I actually had such as role playing or costumes? Finally, if I did find someone who I felt safe and comfortable with, was I open enough to look for ways to make it something more in the future. For example, if I had a date or a session with someone, was I comfortable enough to make it into a series which amounted to more lasting. Barb used my phone to take some more pictures of me in different outfits and I tried to make myself look as sexy and sultry as possible despite it feeling a little funny doing so. While we were doing that, she suggested I might want to use the extra *** I saved by pulling out of the other two apps to go to a professional photographer and get some better glamor shots of myself. I took that into consideration, but honestly my budget is pretty tight so that would have to wait for a while. Barb flipped though the comments, messages, and profiles of guys who had already hit on me and basically deleted the bulk of them. She showed me some tips on spotting fake profiles I had accumulated and also reminded me that this was not going to be an overnight success. Before she left, she made me promise to not quickly answer any chat requests until she had a chance to check them out. I figured I needed as much help as I could get and quickly agreed. I also figured I would wean off from her as time went on but right now, I wanted to share with someone.

Over the next few weeks I figured out that I should set up a schedule of some type to keep from over obsessing being on the app. So I et up a time in the morning when I would interact with the app and then again in the evening I was getting quite a bit of attention but I was shy of jumping into anything right away. I did chat with some guys and learned that it came easier as time went on. What I did not do was initiate any chats despite all the comments from guys asking me to DM them. I still got my share of dick pics and lewd comments and after a while gained some confidence from their compliments even when they came from guys hundreds of miles away. I also got my share of contacts from fake accounts. I started to be able to spot them early on from their comments and lack of profile information and mostly just ignored them and I found that I had a following of sorts. Some of them even looked like prospects for me to meet and when Barb and I would meet I would ask her opinion. On a couple of occasions, she advised me to go ahead and DM them back and initiate chats. I noticed that the guys following me did not always fall within the parameters that I had set up for myself. Some were too young and some were what I considered to be too old, some were from too far away but promised they would travel to meet me, some were people who were not really into what I expected but the thought of what they were into excited me a little. When Barb and I would have lunch or coffee, I expressed that perhaps I should widen my net but she stressed that I had set the limits on my needs for a reason but on the other hand there were no reason from me to block them.

After a significant amount of time, probably three months, I finally agreed to meet with a few guys who I felt comfortable with after chatting to them. That set up a whole new set of issues. The first two guys I agreed to meet never showed up at the appointed time and place. Each time if was a nice little cafe where we agreed to have a cup of coffee together. Instead I ended up having coffee with myself for a half hour each time. When I tried to reach out to each of them to find out what happened, they never returned my chats and ended up being removed from my chat section and blocked from further contact. The third guy at least showed up to meet but was really creepy. At no time was he interested in me as a person but only wanted me to know how he was going to *** me when we had our first session together. He was very explicit and it was awkward to say the least. Of course I also cut off communication with him after telling him that there was no way I was going to do a session with him. It also did not help that he had paid no attention to his personal hygiene when he showed up in scruffy clothes. All in all a major disappointment.

About this same time I was done dealing with the fake accounts, bots and AI chatters. I figured out how, with the help of a moderator, how to make sure they were reported to the site and blocked them. I did a lot more research into how to tell when you were chatting with an AI program as well as finding out more of the tells on when a profile was fake. Some of it was just basic stuff that never occurred to me until such as being wary of anyone who has only on picture attached to the profile, having very sparse details in his profile which indicates it was not fully thought through or could just be used as cover. Additionally I started seeing a pattern among invitations to chats which began by asking things like “What do you expect or want from being on this site?” or asking me questions that were clearly spelled out within my own profile. Those were the bad things happening to me right then but there were also some good things happening as well. My group of followers continued to grow and I could tell that since when I had to delete my account and move to new profile (which was consistent with my old profile) those same followers found me again over time and they re-liked or liked the new pictures I put on site. For the most part, if those people commented, the comments were most often playful but respectful. Most of them were very complimentary which made feel good as well. I started to recognize by site the profile in my notifications when they either like my pictures or posts and also when they commented. Some of them were obvious that they would not be met ups since they were so distant and other because they did not fit within the parameters I had set to myself. Some too old, some too young and others just not my type. Essentially I was winnowing down my potential pool of datable candidates but that did no mean I was mean to them. Instead I looked forward to seeing the likes, attention and comments. Combing through the comments carefully from the beginning, I was able to piece together a few of them that might actually be acceptable to me, particular some who were within the distance range. Many of them had asked me to message them but I still held off although I did keep my eye on some that perhaps I should not have overlooked previously. Some of the younger ones were respectful of me as a person and some of the older ones were more attractive to me than I first thought. Once of them actually expressed things nicely that older men actually had some advantages such as that they were more available due to their career choices, could afford hosting somewhere in a hotel nearer to me since they could better afford it, and they had more experience than those who might be younger. There was a lot to that in my mind and for the first time some of those men started to climb upwards on my list. I also noted that the older men tended to show more signs of maturity and that when they provided comments it was more about what did I want or need rather than about themselves. Don't get me wrong, I still received plenty of dick pictures and lustful boasting from men, it just started to bore me just a little bit. Instead I started thinking more about Barb's suggestions that I think of this more like I would pick a program to get fit, or provide me with new attributes, improve things about me that I wanted to improve or perhaps that perhaps they might allow me to help pick the fantasies and experiences instead of having them just imposed upon me. I spent some time thinking about that as I moved forward.

As things moved on, I also did a lot of learning on the site spending time in the forums just reading the various posts and I also took a couple of basic classes which helped me solidify what I needed and what I wanted. While I knew I could not have what I really wanted, I knew enough at this point that I might be able to have at least a little more of what I wanted and still get those things I needed.

Over the next period of time I started to think seriously about what I wanted versus what I needed. I started a journal with my thoughts where I outlined the two different things. I thought about what it was that fascinated by the lifestyle and what it meant to me in my fantasies and why it appealed to me. I tried to discover what I really needed besides the superficial answers most often given. Some things came directly into my mind when I thought like this. The first was that I was tired and stressed out from always being in control. I had kids I was bringing up and every day I was faced with that responsibility. I was constantly working hard at work to provide for my family. I knew I needed discipline and endurance in order to do that and I wanted to improve that within myself. I needed to have some time for myself so that someone else could be in charge and I could clear my mind and the stress from myself. I wanted to have some time where I did not have to be in control of whatever situation came up. I wanted to feel like I could endure almost any situation as long as I had someone telling me what to do and I could do it without thinking about it. I waned to indulge my fantasies if even for a short period of time and I knew I needed to practice that or I would shrivel up and life would pass me by. I wanted some *** to provide me clarity. I wanted that special excitement in proving to myself that I could take anything that came along. Most of all I wanted the sexual release that I was sure the lifestyle could bring to me without having to worry about about the effects either before or after. I wanted some time to be under control of someone else in my life even if if it was only temporary. In order to get those things, I had to have someone who would act as a teacher, a mentor, a trainer, a coach and someone who understood that I wanted to please him. These are the things that came to me. That person had to be experienced since I was not experienced. It had to be someone who understood what was needed and not what was wanted. Someone who would challenge me but not press so hard I would break. I wanted someone I could count on to keep me safe while still providing me with the excitement I needed. He needed to be mature, firm but yet understanding, someone who would encourage me to add that one more stroke just like a coach would get that last pushup out of an athlete. One that would drive me that extra inch but not over the limits. My ideal would be a person who was more concerned with what I needed than what he wanted even though our interests had to be aligned. I wanted someone who was interested in more than just a session or a kinky date for fun. I needed a development program and the person to develop it for me based on listening to my needs instead of his wants. I wanted to transfer that discipline and endurance into my personal life full time but learn it over time. Remember though, that these thoughts are easy to describe right now but it took me some time to develop them in any kind of fullness. After two months of journaling my thoughts I started to dream even bigger by hoping I could build something bigger. Perhaps it would be a way of life, a code of conduct, or an articulation of what all of this meant to me as a full, real life person. I began to wonder if such a person could even be real.

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Part 2 of the excerpt from the soon to be published book in the Dear Jay series by Jay D Strapper (my pen name) This is part 2 of My Online Kink Match
Slowly my thinking started to change. I reassessed the potential pool of people I had to choose from. I watched carefully the comments from other women in similar circumstances and started to see an emerging pattern. Most of the complaints I saw was the significant number of wannabes versus actual real life doms and the immaturity of the men who seemed only to want to see explore what they wanted instead of what their subs needed. Perhaps that might not have mattered at an earlier stage of my life when we could have grown together in the life but I needed someone who was already a mature dominant man who was confident in himself in all surroundings. Someone who could be firm but encouraging as well. Someone I looked up to not at. I didn't need the perfect body, the perfect look, and the 10 inch dick. I needed someone to show me the ropes so to speak, who knew how to get me off when it was time and who knew when to push me and when not to. I needed a man who was trustworthy and safe. Finally I needed a man who actually planned out a program taking into consideration both my needs and desires as well as his. When I finally hit that wall, I knew what I needed and now the only problem was if he existed and how I could obtain him.

In the midst of all of this, I did manage to have several dates or sessions which because they were disasters only rein***d the conclusions I had so ***fully drawn. I decided what I needed to do was another full assessment of my online friends, followers, suitors and throw out all of my previous assumptions of what made the perfect fit with the exception of the distance issue which would be a detriment to the program he would design. He needed to be someone local and not someone flying for an overnight visit or a one night stand. I wanted and decided I would get some kind of stability.

For several days I combed through all of my contacts, followers, fans, messages, and even likes. I assessed all of them with my criteria and some assumptions and carefully laid those that seemed best positioned in a list. Then I tried to do my best in assessing their profiles as well as a fit to my needs. Once I completed that I put them into rank order of which ones I should contact. At the top of the lost was the older man I had so callously discarded shortly after my arrival on the app. I also remembered the times he had reached out to me gently and respectfully and I had provided no response. I felt sheepishly that he was the first contact I should reach out to. I needn't have felt so. When I reached out with a tentative message:
“Hello, I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions?” he responded rapidly with
“Hi, What information can I provide for you. My profile is accurate and specific, and I am pretty much an open book. Ask away.”
“Well, I was wondering if you could provide me with an answer on how you view power exchange between a Dom and a Sub.”
“That is a question I have given great thought to over the years so it may take a little while to fully answer your question. First let me say that I view the world as a system and all things together interact with each other. The power dynamic between two people is like a contract or framework or better still, a partnership where each partner has a responsibility to the other. The Dom is responsible for building trust from his sub through his actions to keep her safe by building a framework from which she can explore her desires, whether sexual or not. He must understand her needs and desire, what she wants to accomplish through the power dynamic and how she wants to transfer that to her own life. So for example she may desire to build discipline, stamina, endurance, and receive a type of stress relief while also acting out her fantasies. She my need those attributes within her over arching life. The Dom should respond to that by understanding her initial limits, coaching her to increase the boundaries of those limits as appropriate, encouraging her much as a coach encourages an athlete but being very carefully not to damage her in the process. He should use praise when she exceeds expectations. When she buckles under pressure, he should build her up rather than bear down. Her needs are what drives the dynamics at all time. His requirements and wants, while important, are secondary to hers. At all times he should pay attention to her accomplishments and to her rewards, such as sexual excitement or stimulation. I view sessions as just one part of the entire dynamic leading towards larger goals and objectives within a larger set of sessions within a programatic view. In other words, you start at the start but with the end goals of the sub in mind. While a one off session may be satisfying and fun, each session should build on previous session experiences towards an overarching goal. I am sorry this seems like a long explanation off the top of my head but it is the way my mind works. I think of all things in my life in terms of the Outcome I wish to achieve, develop the requirements (or what you might call end results), the resources you must put against the requirements (such as venues, travel, implements etc.), processes to accomplish the requirement (the session itself), review of what was accomplished (cool down and after care, critique, measured results) and finally adjustment when you compare results with what you first set out to do. Then you continue the program and hopefully progress. Both the Dom and the Sub have to communicate with each other to ensure the desired outcomes are achieved. In many cases the dominant party does not consider what his subordinate really desires and therefor it leads to substandard performance for one or both of the parties. In actual process what this looks like is the two parties agreeing together what the sub wants to achieve or gain from the program, she must be provide detailed limitations which he must agree to observe strictly. The Dom then plans out the session within the limitations, provides the resources he needs for it to occur such as provide a venue or place, implements, tools, etc., decides how the process will work along with a set of ways to tell if he achieves the goals of the session, provides detailed information to the Sub on the process for the session including rules she must obey (think of this like a training program a coach would provide to an athlete), the perform the session under the Dom's guidance ensuring that both parties are satisfied (part of the reward system) and then provide aftercare, critique of session, praise where warranted, provide lessons learned to each other and best practices where they discuss what worked, and talk through how to do better. This last piece may extend over a lengthy period between sessions. I always start my first program session as a testing period which allows me to assess the limits of the sub. All sessions are requested by the sub so that she has an easy exit if we do not fit well. Every session after the first is transactional in that the sub must provide an improvement that I demand. It might be agreeing to a new implement, testing her limits, providing a new fantasy for either party, etc. etc. etc. The idea being one of continued improvement towards her goals. Her request to me is in the form of agreeing to the demand, providing me with some available times she is available at her convenience, and I schedule a place, provide her with the rules, and provide her with other information for her to prepare if needed. Now again, this all off the tp of my head. No matter what you call it or term it, it is how I operate. I view a sub as my partner who has free will to walk away if she so chooses. I hope this kind of answers your question.”

I was a little blown away that he had thought all of this through so thoroughly and could provide all of this information readily without reference. He typed it all out in less than 10 minutes. It was like the scales falling from my eyes. This was exactly what I was looking for and we chatted back and forth for about an hour before he told me that he had some things to do but he would be available to chat again when I wanted to.

I talked with my friend Barb later that day and told her about him. She encouraged me to chat with him more, and be open about my life with him. Three days later we agreed to meet. We met in a small town about 15 miles from my town at a small cafe he arranged and when I walked in he was sitting at a booth that was far enough from other people to they could not readily hear our conversation. He rose to meet and I saw that while he was older, he was also good looking. He did have something of a dad body but that did not distract from my liking him right off the bat. We sat and chatted idly for a while, mostly about my life and what I wanted in it in the future. After a while, we cut to the chase and he asked me if I was ready to take the leap but couching it with that if it was too soon, then he understood and we could continue to chat and have a discourse over time until I was ready. Since we had already agreed before hand that nothing was going to happen on this particular day, I felt comfortable enough to say that, if he wanted to lay our the specifics of hat the first session would look like, I was ready to jump.

I could see he was pleased but he said “Before you agree, lets ensure you have laid out wha the limits for the program will be. One of the things I would like you to do before I lay out the first session, is for you to go through the entire list of different things listed on the site of activities telling me yes/no/maybe. This will give me a guide of what your limitation are. We can, together, discuss this list in the future and change it if I recommend it and you desire. You will always have the last say of course and of course you will always be able to use your safe word to pause or end all activities between us and I will respect that. I agreed to provide him with that list later in the day along with my available days and times so he could schedule us a hotel room convenient to me. He gave me some possible locations all of which were short drives away from my town. Then he reminded me that that he would use my list, my profile and my desires/needs into account when he planned the session so I should be as detailed as I wished it to be. He also asked me to provide him with some descriptions of fantasies I would like to experience and gave me a quick list off the top of his head on costume play and role play as examples. Finally he reminded that he had expectations as well and that in all sessions, with the exception of costume play sessions, I would be fully naked and subject to his whims. One of his whims was that I satisfy him sexually before the end of the session. He also assured me that he would ensure that I would have several orgasms prior to that happening as well at least one afterwards.

I must admit that I was sexually aroused by the time our meeting was over and almost wished that we were not waiting until I finished the products he had asked for as well as provide the days and times that worked for me. He handed me a paper as well that detailed a few specific questions for me to answer either by message or in person – these were mostly my sizes so that if required he could purchase costumes, devices, implements, and other things as needed in the future. When I left the meeting my cheeks felt aglow and I was eager to answer what he asked. Somehow I felt like I had found a gold mine by accident. At least for now the ghosting, fake profiles, bots and AI chats seemed to be a thing of the past.

I actually hurried to do my homework I had been assigned. I built a small spread sheet with columns and went to the Kinks & Fetishes area of the site and carefully transcribed them to align with the columns and considered each one carefully to provide an answer of yes, no or maybe. It was amazing to me that I had never thought all of these through and instructive as well. I was very much surprised not only how many of them were yes for me but also the ones I was curious about and answered maybe. I carefully saved the small spread sheet for further use in the future. Then I turned to the task of specific questions he asked of me and provided my measurements, dress size, shoe size etc. He had even asked for ring size and if I preferred hoops to studs for earrings and other piercings. When I had that completed he could have provided me an entire wardrobe with the new information he would have on me. Then I turned to fantasies I had which included the usual role playing and costume playing and I added such things as maid, nurse, student, harem girl etc. I am not sure he was prepared for the number of fantasies I have had over the years. My limits increased a little as I ticked off the no column but I was surprised that I was now thinking that perhaps adding another person was actually intriguing to me. I took my time in completing my tasks and afterwards to significant time to contemplate my answers to see if if they were correct. It was an interesting task. My limits were pretty well defined by the time I was done although now I wondered if I had spend enough time considering how hard the impact items might be or how stringent the bondage items might be. I was ***ful that perhaps I would mislead him on how experienced I was or how much I could actually endure. Rather than try to make notations I now understood why he said the first session would baseline my limits in those areas. One of my significant limits had been anal and he asked if that was just anal sex or did it include things like Butt plugs and anal stimulation. I decided to put anal sex in the maybe column and the other stimulation in the yes column hoping that he would understand I had little to no experience in that area. FinallyI considered my personal schedule. My preference at that point was to try to schedule our first session as quickly as possible but followed is instruction to carefully consider times of 3 hours or more and to include some travel time as well to and from the venue. In the end, I gave him three options. One was over the weekend and the other two were week nights when I knew the oldest boy could arrange to watch the other kids. In all three cases I could easily stay four hours if not more. My biggest *** was that he would choose one furtherest away. I was anxious to get started.

Now came the hardest part of the day for me while I waited for him to respond after I had sent him the information to the email he had given me. I waited and watched my phone to see if he would contact me via email or chat.

I seemed to take forever but in reality he got back to me in about an hour and a half. He had picked the Saturday evening timeframe which was in the middle of the other two options I had given him. Along with the time came information that he would meet me at a hotel that was bout 20 minutes drive time from where I live. I was warned not to be late. He would supply the room number at the hotel after he had checked in about an hour before I was due to arrive. I was to arrive precisely at 5PM and come directly to the room and knock on the door. When I arrived I was not to speak unless asked a question and then to address it by answering yes, sir or no, sir. Nothing else was allowed unless asked a question that required a specific answer. I was to immediately undress totally, fold my clothes and put them aside either on the dresser area or hang them in the closet. Then I was to immediately look for a rectangular box which would be taped on the floor next to the bed in the room. I was to face the bed and put my feet on the far ends of the rectangle and put my hands behind my head in the posture of attention. I was not to move regardless of what happened until told what to do and stare directly ahead. The session was to be divided into three sections. In each section he would test my *** thresholds and my endurance. In between periods I would be afforded some rest while he played with me in less strenuous ways including bring me to the edge of orgasm. At no time was I allowed to cum unless he gave me permission. Before the end of the session, I was to the final period, I would satisfy him according to his instructions. After some final testing he would then provide me with an orgasm before we ended the session. He would then provide aftercare by applying soothing care on my bruises. My safe word was to Bismark and he carefully noted I could remember it by either being the capital of North Dakota or the famous Chancellor of Germany. If I invoked the safe word he would pause proceedings until I had either recovered or he discovered what was wrong. The same if it happened a second time. If I invoked it a third time, we would end the session. If he found I was too loud and he had to gag me, he would provide me with a physical signal that would act as safe word. I was tremendously excited just reading the instruction he had given. I wondered if I could wait the three days until the session.

Over the next few days we chatted a little on site just to ensure we were in synch and to clarify a few small issues but the instructions remained the same.

Saturday morning found me in somewhat of a daze. I attended the kid's athletic games, made them some lunch and prepared a dinner for them to heat in the oven. The oldest was in charge and had strict instruction to call me only in an actual emergency. I fiddled in the grandstands again for an afternoon game and wondered what I should wear to the session but then realized that hardly mattered. I decided I would wear long jeans and a shirt with longer sleeves just in case I suffered bruises somewhere they could be seen. He had assured me that he would not bruise me where it could be seen in normal clothing. That left my thighs, ass and chest as likely targets for him. The more I thought about what was going to be happening the more excited I remained. I was able to leave a few minutes earlier than needed to drive to the small town the hotel was located in. I had checked it out and was surprised at how nice it was. I pulled into the parking lot a few minutes early but I figured that it was better to be early than late. He had provided me with the room number 209 right at four o'clock and an admonition not to be late. I went through the lobby hoping I would see nobody I knew and of course I did not. The clerk did not even acknowledge my passing through. I went up in the elevator and found myself in one of those log hallways and saw that I had quite a wk to get to room 209. Time was starting to press now I knew and went rapidly. When I got to the door I checked my phone for the time and saw I had made it with just a minute to spare. I knocked on the door and it open quickly and I stepped inside. He barely acknowledged me as I stepped inside next to the small closet area with hangers. He locked the door and put the safety chain across and then walked into the room and sat on the far side in a chair he had pulled over from the corner. The TV was on a news channel it was on loudly I suspect to cover the noise we might make. I quickly took off my shoes and then skinned the jeans off my legs and pulled my t-shirt off over my head, standing just in panties and bra while I hung the t-shirt and jeans on hanger. I took off my bra and panties and hung them on a small hook in the closet area. I was nervous as hell. He looked vey calm watching me as I prepared. As I walked towards the bed I noted that the rectangle must be on the other side since it was not on the side nearest to me. It was a double bed and the pillows had been pushed about halfway down the bed. Despite trying to keep my gaze ahead of me, I noted he had placed a small cooler on the dresser area with ice and some water bottles and a few cans of beer. I assumed the beer was for him and the water for me so I would not get dehydrated. I noted the room was hot, much hotter than than it should have been and I had already begun to perspire a little both from *** and the heat. I saw the rectangle on the floor oriented so the long times were along the bed. I also saw that next to where he was sitting there was a blue duffel bag that was perhaps four feet long. On the bed were some black what looked like cuffs behind the pillows in the middle of the bed. I was about two thirds of the way down the bed when I placed my feet on the tape and faced the bed. The rectangle was about a foot longer than the width of my shoulders so my legs were open as I faced the bed and put my hands behind my head and stood still. I could not see him since his chair was positioned behind me and to my right. The window for the room had the d***s closed thank goodness or everyone in the parking lot could have seen my naked ass since I was right in front of it. I heard him get out of the chair and he bent forward and took up the cuffs from the bed and stood behind me. He carefully put a cuff on each of my wrists and they were made of soft cloth and held fastened to my wrist with velcro. He whispered in my ear that the cuffs were so that if wanted to tie me, he had tie points on both my wrists and ankles. Then he bent down a fastened cuffs to my ankles. I could feel a small trickle of sweat start to form in the small of my back. When he straightened back up he told me to get on my tip toes. This time he put some double sided tape under the soles of my feet and told me “Now I want you to stay on your toes when you are in your spot. I will be able to tell it you put your feet down flat just by checking to see if there is dirt on the tape. If there is, then you will be penalized. Do you understand?
“yes, sir!”
“Good girl! Now I am going to explore your body for a few minutes and I want you stand very still.”
“Yes, Sir!”

I felt him come closer to me and then his arm encircled my body and he cupped my breasts in his hands like he was weighing them. I stared straight ahead as he fondled my breast and then felt his thumb and forefinger tweak each of my nipples and they were standing straight out and hard. His right hand slipped down my side and then I felt his hand go between my legs. His finger rubbed against my slit and he said “Good, you are already getting wet which means you are excited. He slipped his finger into me and then a second and he played around inside me before rubbing his fingers along my slit and twirling them like he knew what he was ding paying special attention to those areas that always made me excited. My breathing grew ragged a little and I almost went down on the soles of my feet. When he was satisfied with what he found, he pulled his hand back and moved back a little. I was surprised when he smacked my ass hard with his hand and again I almost put my feet down off my tip toes. Standing on your tip toes is tiring and I was starting to feel the strain on my legs and I was starting to perspire a little more. He on the other hand didn't seem to mind the heat in the room. Perhaps it was my own anxiety and excitement that was causing me to sweat. He slapped my ass a few more times and then said, “Ok, we are ready to start. First I want you to bend forward and put your hands on the bed. Stay on your tip toes while you are positioned like that. The first thing I am going to do is give you a hard hand spanking to warm up your ass. It will help provide you with a glow that will help when we use implements on you later.”
I took my hands from behind my head and placed them on the bed. I was now bent over the bed with my legs opened up for him to see and the thought of that put a shiver down my spine. He went to the my left side and told me to keep my head up looking at the far wall. As I did, I saw there was a full length mirror there and I could see my self clearly in this humiliating position. I did not have too much time to contemplate that since he again slid his hand between my leg and gave me me couple more rubs along my slit which caused me to moan a little.
“Shhhh. Pretty soon you will have something to moan about for real.”
He moved back and began to blister my ass with his hand. It hurt – a lot. I could feel my ass start to warm up tremendously and I had a hard time keeping my position on my toe but having my hands on the bed to brace myself helped. This went on for a long time and I knew when he had told me I was be bruised he meant it. He spanked me both on my ass and then turned his attention to the backs of my thighs, warming them just as thoroughly. I concentrated on keeping my mind on enduring the *** he was causing and I wondered how I was ever going to actually get through all three period of sessions if this was the kind of *** I had to endure. It seemed longer but after about fif*** minutes he topped spanking me and slid his hand down between my legs and on onto my slit where he found me getting very wet ad he exclaimed “Oh good girl, that excites you for sure.” When he again allowed his fingers to enter me I moved against them to plunge them deeper but he was sly and while he played with me he was careful not to allow me the chance to even get near to an orgasm. He would pull them away from when he heard my breathing get ragged. Finally after a few moments of excitement he leaned down to whisper in my ear that it was time for him to use the belt. I felt a moment of panic when he said that since I had not even imagined he would use a belt. He pushed a very heavy leather belt in front of my face so I could take a look at what he was going to use on me next. He told me “I expect you to take this like a good girl. Stay directly in position. Too much dancing around will only prolong the punishment. Now I want you to kiss the belt!”
I leaned my lips down to the belt and kissed it as he asked knowing that I was acknowledging that he had the authority to use it on my already sore ass and thighs. I waited for the first blow. My father had used his belt on me when I was a child and I knew how excruciating it could be.

Again removed a little away from me and for a second I rested before I heard the belt whistling in the air and it struck me with a *** that took the breath out of me. Tears came to my eyes and I remembered how he had told me to make up eyes very dark. I knew the make up would soon be running down my face and I faced the mirror and saw that tears were already falling and ruining my blackened eyes. He again leaned over and whispered “I think another 20 strokes will do it for you.” and I moaned again knowing how much that would hurt but the belt was raining down on both my upper thighs and my ass quickly. I could feel the welts rising from where he had struck me. My entire backside felt like it was on fire. I was having trouble think about anything except enduring the ***. It never occurred to me that I could stop the *** by simply say my safe word. When I glanced at the mirror I saw my hair was disheveled and my face was smeared with making running down my cheeks. Now I was moaning but obviously not enough that he felt like he had to gag me. Instead I heard what sounded like a soft mewing sound emitting from my mouth. Then suddenly it was over and his hand was between my legs again. I felt the fingers go deep inside of me again and then as I began to press harder against them he pulled them back and ran along the slit and up to that secret spot that all girls have that allows them get really excited. He played around inside of me a little bit and then leaned forward again and told me it was time for me to have a small rest. He pulled pillow off the bed and under my crotch. When he got it positioned to the place he wanted, he told me to lie down on the bed keeping my my tip toes on the sides of the rectangle and my legs open. I looked into the mirror and my ass was higher than my head and I could see it was a bright red and striped with broad welts. I figured that he had positioned me just so he had a better target of my ass and my thighs. I am sure my thighs were in the same shape as my ass. I could see my breasts thrust ahead of me and my face was a mess of tear streaked make up running down in streams. Funnily enough, I did not feel unattractive and instead could start to see what he must see when he looked at me in this state. While I thought my ass was going to get beaten again I could not have been more wrong. Instead I heard a soft whir and then felt a vibrator placed against my slit and rub up and down. As he played it along my sex he leaned over me and said “Don't forget to get permission before you cum. I will punish you some more if you cum without permission.” The vibrator was diabolical as he played it along the edges of my slit. It would bring me to the edge and then he would pull back after he had built me up towards orgasm. He obviously had different attachments for the vibrator since he would once in a while affix some other piece and then it would be placed inside of me for a few minutes or directly on my clit to stimulate me even further. More and more he would bring me to the edge and then deny me. I begged him to allow me to come but he kept me from it. Finally he got me going so hard I had a hard time keeping my legs open and he must have sensed I was going grasp the vibrator with my thighs and he softly told me I had permission to cum. This time he did not pull back but allowed the vibrator to do its work and when I came I felt like the ocean was roaring around my head and and I felt waves of intense pleasure wash over me as I gushed. I must have blacked out for a moment because he was siting besides me when I opened my eyes and he was watching me. I was still breathing heavily.
“Good girl. Now rest for a few minutes. Do you need some water?”
I couldn't speak so I nodded my head and he came back and allowed me to sip from a bottle of water while he drank a beer. I noticed my entire body was dripping with sweat t this point but he still looked cool as a cucumber. Now when I looked in the mirror, my hair was matted own with sweat and my body was glistening. I took a few more sips of water while I rested and when he judged that I had enough rest he told me to resume my position on my toes with my hands on the bed. I lowed myself to the floor on my tip toe and he pulled the pillow out from under me. My breasts felt heavy hangin down. I knew we were about use the next set of implements on my ass. Again he leaned down to whisper in my ear.
“The belt leave both welts and is a blunt instrument meant to bruise. The bruises will be nothing in comparison to when we use a heavy paddle.”
He pushed a broad paddle drilled with holes in front of me so I could see what he was going to use on me next. My ass was still on fire from the spanking and belt. I knew this was going to hurt as well since once in school we kids got in so much trouble they gave each of us five swats with a heavy paddle.
“I think we will start with 25 swats and then we will see if you can endure more.
I wanted to yell at him that could not possibly endure that many now but I kept silent. I kissed the paddle when bidden to do so.

The paddle produced an entirely different sound than the belt. It truly whistled as the air rushed through the holes in it. I could hear it coming and when it hit it did so with ***. I took a few moments for the *** to build from the stroke and he waited between each stroke to ensure I got the full effect. I was dancing around as he hit my ass but kept my position well enough that he did not have remind me not to move so much. I lost count of the strokes and was surprised when he finally announced that he thought I could take another ten and told me to count. I was to scout each one with a sir on the end of it since I did not want any prolonged paddling to occur. When he completed the ten strokes, he paused for a few moments and got himself another beer commenting that “This is thirsty work.”

He rummaged around in his duffle bag and pulled some things out of it before he leaned over me again and he placed to items in front of me. One was a long bamboo switch that was very thin and the other was a bundle of five or six bamboo switched held together at one end with some Duct Tape. I actually harvest these myself since I have a small bamboo forest you will meet some of the larger canes in the last period. For now however, I mean to switch you. For this you have to remain still since the switches are going to seek out some sensitive spots. Again I kissed the implement one at a time acknowledging that he was able to use them on me without complaint.

He started with the bundle which surprised me since I thought it was the more wicked of the two things. It felt very different than anything I have ever felt. When it hit me I really felt almost nothing but after a few seconds where it had hit it start to feel like a hundred insect bites all going on at once. My ass involuntarily moved around a lot as he measured me for the beating once again waiting between strokes to ensure I got the full effect of the bundle of switches. He covered my as with with fully and ensure that he not only hit from the side but also from directly behind so that the switch welts were crossed. Again I was sobbing and my yelps wee louder and he cautioned me that he would gag me if I did not tone it down. I did my best but every time he gave me a stroke I forgot my resolve and would moan loudly. I felt that the switch bundle was curling over my ass and thighs to hit my loins and the sides of my thighs obviously marking those areas as well. I stayed on my toes as he beat me with the bundle. Then suddenly it was done and my ass and thighs were on fire. It took some time for my ass to stop moving around. Now he leaned in again and said “OK, now I am going to mark you so you remember me every time you take a step for the next few days. This little switch may not hurt as much it will rise welts inside your thighs that will rub together and bother you for a while. With that he expertly applied the switch inside my thighs and marked them up with welts. After the session, I found he was correct. Those welts made me remember him every time I took a few steps or as they rubbed on my panties or jeans. He gave me probably 20 or so strokes on the inside of each thigh. “Normally I would have a butt plug in you as well, and I would mark inside your ass crack to ensure that is welted up as well. Perhaps we will do that in the future as we press your limits.' I shuddered when he said that.
“Ok, the impact area of period is completed but I want you to stay in position. We are going to pay some attention to the front of you now.” I had no idea what he meant since I was still bent over the bed with my hands down on it and my tits hanging down. Again he rummaged inside his duffel and came over to stand by my side. He reached under me and fondled my breast tugging at my nipples and then before I realized what he was doing, he was banding my breasts with very thick rubber bands so that puffed out in downward towards the bed. He would pull the tit downward while he took a think rubber band stretch open with his other hand then place my tit inside and pull it through by the nipple. When he got it on, he would press it down to the base causing the breast to constrict at the base and puff outward stretching the end of the tit out and apart from the other one. He put five or six bands on each breast and when I looked in the mirror I could see that my tits were stretched tight and already starting to turn a shade of purple as the *** was pushed outward to the skin. My nipples wee ***d into a perpetual state of hardness now. When he got both of the tits banded tightly he told me to lie down on the bed and the I could take my toes off the floor. Then he had me roll to my right onto my back and told me to keep my legs open. He put a blindfold on my eyes so I could not see what he was doing. I felt him down by my crotch feeling around and then felt a sharp line of *** inside my thighs.
“This is just me snapping the rubber bands against your skin closer to your sex. I want you get the full effect of the welts all the way up to your sex. In comparison to what I had already endured, this was not nearly as ***ful. He carefully snapped the band against my inner thighs about ten times on each side and then moved upward above my crotch. When he got there he snapped the band outward from my sex towards the edge of my body about five times on each side like he was drawing a setting or rising sun. Then he sat on the bed next to my banded tits. When he snapped the rubber band on the side of my tits it was like a line of fire had just been drawn on my tit. He had some kind of method however with the bands and he spent some time making sure it hit me correctly each time. He had an area of each side of each tit where he snapped me exactly five times. When he was done I sensed he was admiring his work. A moment later he I heard the soft whir of the vibrator and we had finished period three. This time I was on my back with my legs open for access and he took advantage of it by massaging my clit and using a deep vibrator finger to pleasure me with. I also felt a tip of something that dug in towards my asshole and it excited me as well. Time after time he brought me close to climax while still warning me that I had to have permission to cum. I begged and pleaded with him for permission but he did not give in easily. Finally he gave me permission and I came again with a gush and again it was so powerful that it is difficult to describe. This time it was like I was in a tunnel and I have no idea how it happened but after the rush, I opened my eyes and blindfold was gone I was still lying down on my back on the bed and he was sitting next to me with a bottle of water for me to sip while he drank a beer. I gratefully accept the water and gulped it down the best I could. I managed to get most of it down but dribbled quite a bit all over me as well. I was obviously tiring out. My tits were still banded up. He had me roll over to the left and he carefully placed me so that I was back in my spot guiding my toes down to the tape marks on the floor. He allowed me to rest a few moments but told me to take a good look at myself in the mirror. I was a terrible sight to say the least. My face was red underneath all of the makeup that had streaked down my face. My breasts were squashed up together and had turned a deep shade of purple. I could see that on the side of each of my tits there some kind of design that had marked them from the rubber band snapping them. Obviously he thought I had enough rest because he then got me onto my toes with my hands on the bed.As I watched in the mirror, he took the bands off my tits and I felt the *** rushing back into causing that curious numbing *** like when you sleep on your arm cutting off the circulation. Now I could see that he had used the rubber bands to snap little stars onto each tip with the sides of the star the little bruise lines where they had snapped against the sides of my tits.He moved me and had one more little trick with the rubber bands as he dew four stars across the top of my ass explaining as he did that the four stars represented the highest grade he would give to a sub. I was now a four star sub and marked as such. The last period he explained would be the shortest of all. In this one he intended to use canes on my ass and thighs. After the second set of ten I would provide him with his sexual satisfaction before he applied the final ten strokes with the most severe cane he had brought with him. Then he promised I would have another explosive orgasm. I have to admit that I was tiring out. He placed the canes in front of me and picked up the thinest one and had me kiss it. I did so and he quickly dispatched ten strokes with it cross my ass and my thighs with it. It cut deep and I knew those marks would be visible for quite a while. Since it was thin it wrapped around onto my loins and half way through he switched sides do each loin would be marked the same. Then he did the same with the medium cane. When he was done I was weeping openly but not loudly. I was too close to the end to stop enduring the *** now. I heard him pull the chair directly behind me and he told me to stand up in the attention position with my hands behind my head. When I complied he had me turn around and kneel in front of him inside my little spot. I serviced orally. He was not big but he wasn't little either. Obviously he had enjoyed our punishment session as well since it was not long before he was struggling not to cum as well. Finally he pulled my head so that his cock slid into my throat and he shot down inside of me and told me to swallow every drop. I missed a little and when he pulled his cock from my mouth he gave me a little milk mustache and told me to clan him up with my tongue. Now we were getting to the end. He bent me back over the bed and told me that he meant me to be marked well. He added that I was really doing far better than he had expected and I felt myself swell with some pride. That pride last until the first stroke which felt like fire. He gave me six strokes that went across the tops of my thighs right where the ass and thighs meet and I knew I would be having trouble sting down at work on Monday. Then he leaned forward and said “i am going to mark you with a double X across your ass. Keep very still. He came in low on the left and high on the right side on a diagonal across my ass crossing directly about my asshole. A second one went on the same spot. Then he crossed the welts with two that started high on the left and low and on the right to give me a perfect X on my ass. When he was done I was blowing my breath in and out crying not to panic. I am afraid I cried out with the last four strokes he gave me since they were do hard.When completed he also was good to his word and used the vibrator on me and gave me the most explosive orgasm of the night. This time when I woke up, he had turned me over and was applying a soothing salve of some kind on my bruises. While it was soothing it must have also had some heat in it since it also warmed the areas he applied it. We talked over the session and he asked questions like what I liked the most, did I get the relief I wanted, did it help my tension and did it help me live out my fantasies. I gave him the bet answers I could although quite honestly I didn't know exactly what to think right then except that I was grateful it was over. When my body had been covered in soothing cream, he told me to go take a look in the bathroom, wash my face and use the toilet if I had to. When I looked at my body I daw that he had purposely put designs on it. Sure enough, my ass had a large X marked across it. Each tit had a star on both sides of it and above my as were the four starts he had drawn with the rubber band.
I had not expected my tits to be punished but it came out right. I saw he was true to his word that bruises would not be visible under regular clothes. On the other hand., my ass and thighs looked like hamburger. I noted that right about my sex in the front was a design coming out of my crotch like a rising or setting sun. Again, I was unsure how I felt about all of this but I had certainly enjoyed the orgasms. I also had a feeling of accomplishment. I was proud that I had endured so well and his praise of me made me happy for some reason. Mostly I felt like I was sweaty and sore. I figured it probably would take me some time to process what I had just been through.

When I went back into the room, he had packed up everything into his duffle and was sitting on the bed. He patted the bed next to him and I sat down. We went through each segment of the session in detail. At the end both of us felt pretty pleased with ourselves. He reminded me that it was in my hands now to request another session or not. I should take my time and make sure this was what I wanted. If I made a request, he would provide me what the transaction would cost me as far as stretching my limits or new item. It might be any number of things and then I could choose o continue the program or not depending on how I felt. We cuddled a little bit but it was starting to get late and I said so. I needed to get back to my life at home and my ***. He nodded his understanding and I dressed quickly and left.

When I got into my car I realized just how exhausted I was. I looked a mess and hoped the kids would already be in bed and asleep by the time I got home. I drove the miles back to the house slowly ensuring I was safe and I certainly did not want to get stopped by the police. When I arrived home, I sighed with relief that the kids were already in bed. I locked up and went straight into my room to get ready for bed. I undressed and went into the bathroom. I have to admit I admired my “war wounds” as I looked at myself in the mirror. The man had been a real master; an artist if you will. I checked the stars on the top of my ass over the welts and stripes covering my ass and overlaid by a large welted X crossing precisely over my ass hole. I examined my front meticulously and saw the little rising sun tribute over the top of my cunt almost like it was coming out from between my legs. The welts between my thighs were sure to bother me in the coming days I knew and I would think of him each time they did. I raised my eyes to my poor ***d breasts and held them in my hands as I turned this way and that. Each one was framed by the star on each side of each tit. My nipples were still extended to some degree and the breasts themselves were a little discolored. There was something sexy in that. My face, despite the washing I had given it, still show signs of the tear washed makeup running down my cheeks. I was sore all over. My hair was a mess and I could still smell the semen he had rubbed onto my upper lip after he had come in my throat. Even as I looked in the mirror, I felt some stirring of excitement in me. I smiled at myself in the mirror and I though I looked more satisfied than terrible. I quickly brushed my teeth and got ready for bed, turning out the bathroom lights and stumbling to bed and just was able to ensure the alarm clock was set. Tomorrow would be another long day. I had kids to take care of and a weeks worth of cooking to do before I relaxed this Sunday. Sundays were my only real day off in this full time world. As I drifted off into a content sleep, I thought about what I had done and and agin felt that stirring of excitement. I wondered how long I should take before contacting him again. Thee was no doubt I was going to make a new request for the next session. The only real question was how fast would I heal up enough to go through it again.