Obsessed with pleasing her

[Go****]

*I'm trying my best to word this as pg as possible*

Anyone else obsessed with pleasing their SO?
Like, its pretty much all I think about 24/7. I don't even care about me finishing, most of the time, I'd never turn down a little attention though, I can't even really enjoy a BJ (which apparently is fine cause I never get them) unless im playing with her. Or I feel terrible if I finish early/before I wanted to (which Will stop me in the future)
Don't take me wrong, I live for it, I LOVE 🐈 with everything in me.
but sometimes I just want to.... Idk. If I don't initiate it, its never happening. I had a glimmer of hope when she started reading smut (I think that's the right word). Nope now she'll just say a week after the fact that she wanted some, like I was right beside her. I don't always have to go kinky, but being neglected when I do everything (or did before giving up) make sure shes happy (not just sexually). I have told her over and over and over what I NEED. And still nothing. I'm going crazy.

Sorry about that emotional dump haha I got plenty of it, this ain't even the tip of the iceberg, which is why I kink! That wasn't where I was headed when I started. Idk, anyone have advice? Before I finish losing what mind I did have, and a marriage, and everything?

[to****]

I would suggest a hooker if finances allow it or a fwb

[Lo****]

I’m not sure if I got that right 🤔 you’re frustrated because she doesn’t let you please her? Please get that point shorter, I’m confused 🥴

[aw****]

1. It's annoying that your profile says you're single when you just explained that you have a SO.- significant other and you mention a marriage.

2. You say "why I kink" which really seems like you're saying "why I cheat" according to your ending statement of losing what mind...marriage...and everything"

3. If you have guilt, stop and reflect. You say you are obsessed with pleasing her, but then frustrated that she doesn't initiate. So dwhat do you want? What is your obsession? Do you want her to initiate and then you please ber? Understand what her initiating would do for you... Perhaps it's validation, effort, or recognition? Are you obsessed with her being horny for you? Do you want to explicitly know she wants it and then satisfy her?

4. After you figure out what you really want or reflect or take effort to really understand what it is you're reaching out to others for....then have that real, serious, embarrassing, intimate, deep conversation with her about your wants, needs, desires, expectations, kinks, etc and be OPEN to teach, guide, test, modify, compromise, and grow with your SO/wife/partner.

5. Happy kinking!

[Lo****]

16 minutes ago, awsmx3rain said:

1. It's annoying that your profile says you're single when you just explained that you have a SO.- significant other and you mention a marriage.

2. You say "why I kink" which really seems like you're saying "why I cheat" according to your ending statement of losing what mind...marriage...and everything"

3. If you have guilt, stop and reflect. You say you are obsessed with pleasing her, but then frustrated that she doesn't initiate. So dwhat do you want? What is your obsession? Do you want her to initiate and then you please ber? Understand what her initiating would do for you... Perhaps it's validation, effort, or recognition? Are you obsessed with her being horny for you? Do you want to explicitly know she wants it and then satisfy her?

4. After you figure out what you really want or reflect or take effort to really understand what it is you're reaching out to others for....then have that real, serious, embarrassing, intimate, deep conversation with her about your wants, needs, desires, expectations, kinks, etc and be OPEN to teach, guide, test, modify, compromise, and grow with your SO/wife/partner.

5. Happy kinking!

Thank you rain, wasn’t able to put that together 😂✌️🫶🏻

[ey****]

there was something I was reading a few weeks ago which basically had that on the whole, women are far less likely to initiate sex - regardless if they are or would be interested

So, yeah, maybe initiate more and help make her feel safe to initiate with you. 

But however and also - if you are really interested in pleasing her, that might be not expecting things from her - or not claiming you don't expect things, and then getting ***y when you don't get em 

[Ro****]

You're in a dangerous spot right now. When the effort stops but the resentment grows, it usually leads to cheating or a messy blowout. If communication has completely failed, it's time to decide if you want to fix this through counseling or if it's genuinely time to walk away. Leaving things in this limbo is only going to make you lose your mind.

[Yi****]

If you're not happy with your relationship or the person in particular, then change it. Are they paying your bills? Do you live in their swanky Apartment . are they paying for trips? Or what's the reason you're with this person? Do you have a kid together so you're obligated, because you have a kid? It's possible your dating, a loser or somebody with mental health problems. You don't need to stick around for that Unless you are committed. hang with the winners and try and be a winner Yourself. 2 wrongs, don't make a right. You can't have a healthy relationship if one or both persons is not prepared in life.For it

[Go****]

Edited 1 hour ago by GoldfishSD