What upgraded your DOMming

[Si****]

What sort of things did you learn or discover that really took being a Dom to the next level? I want to expand more, learn what I can and just be better for others.

[Si****]

Finding someone neutral to
You to do test runs on the different ideas you have, and being able to explain things well enough to have someone implement those ideas on you so you can work the bugs out of the process to find any binding points to be aware of , and to make sure there is an acceptable level of comfort throughout the experience, after all.
The style of sex we pursue should be stimulating and pleasurable for all who are involved, it’s the only way to reach a higher level of gratification in all aspects

[th****]

Cnc and just really using her to her limits. We set a safe word but she didn’t use it and all night long I did whatever I wanted to her and she loved it

[laura90]

Hey, I can totally understand your desire to learn more and be a better dom. It is definitely a learning process. But what I can also say is that the Sub REALLY matters. One could almost say that the "quality" of the Sub decides to a large extent how good you as a Dom are. Because I noticed that there are Subs where I have zero problems being a good dominant part and there are some that try to basically dominate me and so on. So if your post stems from a session that made you rather insecure, look into the dynamic between you and the Sub. Maybe there are things that you just don't want in a Sub. I personally stopped any interaction with people who cannot be reliable, consistent and offer me 24/7 respect. And no, this isn't to much to ask for. 😄

[laura90]

19 minutes ago, thick_daddy_6969 said:

Cnc and just really using her to her limits. We set a safe word but she didn’t use it and all night long I did whatever I wanted to her and she loved it

That is really cool and a good indicator.

[laura90]

I think for me the best moments have been when I was with the right Sub. What can I say. I do many things the same way first, and some like it immediately, some probably never will.

[To****]

I think the first thing you need to realise as a Dom is that your first priority should be developing yourself, not trying to become better for someone else!

I only really understood that when I stopped focusing on what I could do for anothers and started asking myself what kind of person I actually wanted to become.

Learning my own limits, understanding my authority and becoming comfortable with it made a much bigger difference than learning another technique.

And over time I also learned not to confuse intensity with depth. You can have an intense scene and still have very little underneath it.

The more time I spend in this lifestyle, the more I value patience, consistency and self-awareness. The technical stuff can be learned. Knowing yourself takes a lot longer😉

[Si****]

Laura90, my post actually stems from a really good session and not a bad one. It's just something that kind of crossed my mind and wanting to be better. I definitely agree that it very much depends on the sub and the connection with this sub as well as the trust. But I wanted to put my feelers out there to see if there was anything that stood out to other doms and subs to see what took their dynamic to the next level. In the moment of my posting, I didn't really consider that it's going to be highly dependent on individual connection, but that definitely has become more apparent to me. After reading everyone's comments and thinking about the subject a little more. It still makes me curious as to what other people's experiences were and what triggers could have potentially flip the switch to make things more intense in a good way

[Ha****]

taking a real class on shabari uped my skill not only do you learn more about pressure points the correct way in which to control another's body using a properly tied body harness you also learn more patience and anticipation there's grounding *** to go along with the pleasure and extreme situations helping your sub live in the moment it also allows you to take complete control without doing unwilling harm to another by winging it