REWARDS, WHY DOES NOBODY TALK ABOUT THEM?

[Mi****]

There's a whole thread here about creative punishments. Nobody made one about the other half, and honestly rewarding good behavior does more for a dynamic than punishing bad ones.
Some of mine. A scene where she picks everything and it's all about her. A full day off from her tasks. And small ones work too, staying up past bedtime with me counts as a prize when bedtime is usually a rule.
So what's yours, given or received? And which reward worked way better than you expected?

[Co****]

A reward-based D/s dynamic can be just as powerful as punishment, sometimes more so. Rewards don’t have to mean gifts. They can be praise, attention, affection, privileges, choices, special rituals, extra access, planned experiences, or increased trust.

I especially like the idea of earned privileges: instead of “you failed, so you’re punished,” it becomes “consistency, communication, service, honesty, or growth unlocks something meaningful.” And the highest reward can sometimes simply be more trust and freedom.

The only things I wouldn’t make someone earn are the basics: respect, consent, communication, emotional safety, and care.

[Co****]

I also like the idea of having different “levels” of rewards instead of everything being treated the same.

Small rewards: praise, affection, a sweet note, a little privilege.

Meaningful rewards: choosing the date, a massage, favorite meal, special ritual, or getting to request something they enjoy.

Major rewards: a planned experience, gift, new privilege, or something they’ve been wanting to earn.

Exceptional rewards: something rare and emotionally significant, like a new collar/jewelry, expanded freedom, deeper responsibility, or a major increase in trust.

The reward doesn’t always have to be “stuff.” Sometimes being noticed, trusted, and given more freedom is the most meaningful reward of all.

[su****]

I am a reward based/praise based submissive. Literally a well placed "good girl" makes me happy. Most people overwork that phrase. Simple things like a sticker or a sweet treat can be motivational. The reward is nice for me but honestly it's the praise that comes with the reward. It's being seen and acknowledged and told your effort matters.

[lu****]

I get special little treats :3 I also have a reward board where I get a star for "especially good performances" and work towards a small gift

[Ye****]

Being seeing and made to feel appreciated gone along way for me.
Good girl Not being over used like mentioned above is a big one. There are plenty of other things someone can say that get the point across.
Being submissive can often feel draining and at the end of the day you can be left feeling exhausted. When someone notices that and does the small things I like.. it goes along way.

[SE****]

I think it’s more simple than all of this. For most doms, especially new ones, rewards aren’t the point of debate and (at that time) deep exploration. There’s a lot that’s common sense and people will focus more on what they have absolutely no grasp on vs. something that’s still working at that moment.

[de****]

I mean my rewards and punishments were the same thing last round 😂 made a good shot at disk golf great I get hit with stuff, missed shot and threw disk in lake get hit with stuff 🙃

[Te****]

Because if someone’s a masochist into *** which accounts for the vast majority of submissives (in my limited experience), their idea of a kinky reward is punishment through *** and *** and many will act bratty to get what they want. Actual positive rewards for good behaviour generally happen outside of the bedroom in a 24/7 dynamic and whilst an important part of that kind of relationship, I think it has to be unique to the person and their wants, needs and interests and that isn’t really of benefit sharing on here. A DDLG dynamic for example would see very different rewards as the sub would likely want little related things.

[ey****]

I feel rewards in general are very personal to the relationship (mind, so should a lot of punishments be) I guess also a "how do I punish my sub?" is one where some subs would respond "with ice cream?!" and others would respond a "are you really a Dominant if you don't know how to punish me?" whereas "how do I reward my sub?" is easy, you go to the sub "you did x, y and z - you may suggest a reward" 

Rewards also as I say are very specific on the dynamic.  I've seen rewards given like "you have earned an orgasm" to "here is a pair of my well worn socks I was going to bin" to "you may watch the football" "you can sit at the table for dinner" - some of which would sound boggling outside of those dynamics