Progression

[ChasteMale]

I have been in a relationship with my wife since 2006.

My wife is more dominant but only because I am so submissive. Before me she had only been involved with dominant men sexually.

 

Evebrything was fine for a good few years but I wanted her to be more dominant and she said she would be happy to take more control over me. I began to wear a chastity device and have been mostly chaste for the past seven years.

It has had a effect in that we are less intimate and she often says she misses intercourse. I was never into penetrating her or anyone else and this has made me wonder if other submissive men feel similar? To me a woman is to be worshipped and the idea of sex seems so wrong for me!

 

This is my first post and sorry if I have rambled.

 

Ian

[ey****]

There's a lot of different opinions and ideas and wants around sexual intercourse.

So, if she wants intercourse and you are denying it to her due to being chaste, then this is not good service.  Having sex doesn't mean you don't otherwise worship her.

Of course - perhaps there's a way you can two way compromise her and make HER pleasure during sex the priority.  

[Dreamaway]

Sex is a huge part of most relationships, it's the basic connection between 2 people normally. It could be a deal breaker if you can't reach some kind of compromise to satisfy her requirements.

[Chastity_Pup_Gabbia]

Maybe to compromise you could get an over the cage strap on? Therefore, still being chaste yet giving her the pleasure of intercourse that she requires.

[ChasteMale]

@chastitypup I suggested that but she was not keen! I think there has been too much time since we were intimate now.

[ChasteMale]

12 hours ago, Dreamaway said:

Sex is a huge part of most relationships, it's the basic connection between 2 people normally. It could be a deal breaker if you can't reach some kind of compromise to satisfy her requirements.

My wife says the menopause has killed most of her sex drive but I know she still 'plays' with herself 

[ChasteMale]

12 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

There's a lot of different opinions and ideas and wants around sexual intercourse.

So, if she wants intercourse and you are denying it to her due to being chaste, then this is not good service.  Having sex doesn't mean you don't otherwise worship her.

Of course - perhaps there's a way you can two way compromise her and make HER pleasure during sex the priority.  

We need to re-engage. I adore her and want her to be something she is not in truth.

 

[Je****]

Ok so i feel for you here. 

I will guess your wife is aware of your 'situation' before you got married or you communicated this once it developed during your ? 

Chances are shes been undertsanding and accpeting of this but naturally will have grown to miss this. This could be a reason why shes been so keen to take on that dominant role for you? To bring excitement to you and her but maybe with the hope it will sexually arouse you more and eventually you will give intercourse another shot but IF this is what she hoped or something you absolutely cannot do, you both need to communicate either way. 

 

Now in my experience of this. I am dating someone who is a switch not always/usuallly in chastity, but is not an intercourse fan (other things excite them, turn them on and get them off). They dont get as much enjoyment out of it than i do but they do engage in intercourse with me knowing i enjoy this. Which i love and respect about them but i dont push them for it. There are other ways to please and be pleased by a partner sexually. We engage in that every now and then and it suits me and they dont mind either. If i was a very 'intercoursey' person and relied heavily on that for sole enjoyment then yes there would have been an issue. But again communication can put a resolve to this. 

 

So what i would maybe advise is, pleasure her in other ways, see if that is ok with her? Ask her what about penetration is so important and satisfying to her and her sexual life and see if you can compromise. 

This can include toys like strap ons, your hands or tongue, dildos and the like...

 

But if shes like me and prefers skin over silicone, why do you not speak with her about the possibility of a Bull i think theyre called? A guy who comes in to satisfy the female and have that sexual penetrative fun with her and it may open up new cucking experiences for you and her? Maybe try a poly connection if you were both open to that or just someone she likes and trusts to have a FWB situation for the sole sexual penetration side of it. All this being said assuming you cant or wont be able to help her with penetration yourself, (but never do something you absolutely cannot or do not want to do, its ok if you can compromise but do not be putting yourself completely out of your own comfort). 

 

There can be ways to do things and make it work, just takes a good hard sit down. But if open to the idea of another maybe get her to join here with you on a couple profile for instance and see if something comes up?!

 

 

Sorry if any of this has sounded rude at all its not my intent. Wishing you lots of luck

 

 

Edited August 31, 2021 by JenniferTP
typos

[ChasteMale]

7 hours ago, JenniferTP said:

Ok so i feel for you here. 

I will guess your wife is aware of your 'situation' before you got married or you communicated this once it developed during your ? 

Chances are shes been undertsanding and accpeting of this but naturally will have grown to miss this. This could be a reason why shes been so keen to take on that dominant role for you? To bring excitement to you and her but maybe with the hope it will sexually arouse you more and eventually you will give intercourse another shot but IF this is what she hoped or something you absolutely cannot do, you both need to communicate either way. 

 

Now in my experience of this. I am dating someone who is a switch not always/usuallly in chastity, but is not an intercourse fan (other things excite them, turn them on and get them off). They dont get as much enjoyment out of it than i do but they do engage in intercourse with me knowing i enjoy this. Which i love and respect about them but i dont push them for it. There are other ways to please and be pleased by a partner sexually. We engage in that every now and then and it suits me and they dont mind either. If i was a very 'intercoursey' person and relied heavily on that for sole enjoyment then yes there would have been an issue. But again communication can put a resolve to this. 

 

So what i would maybe advise is, pleasure her in other ways, see if that is ok with her? Ask her what about penetration is so important and satisfying to her and her sexual life and see if you can compromise. 

This can include toys like strap ons, your hands or tongue, dildos and the like...

 

But if shes like me and prefers skin over silicone, why do you not speak with her about the possibility of a Bull i think theyre called? A guy who comes in to satisfy the female and have that sexual penetrative fun with her and it may open up new cucking experiences for you and her? Maybe try a poly connection if you were both open to that or just someone she likes and trusts to have a FWB situation for the sole sexual penetration side of it. All this being said assuming you cant or wont be able to help her with penetration yourself, (but never do something you absolutely cannot or do not want to do, its ok if you can compromise but do not be putting yourself completely out of your own comfort). 

 

There can be ways to do things and make it work, just takes a good hard sit down. But if open to the idea of another maybe get her to join here with you on a couple profile for instance and see if something comes up?!

 

 

Sorry if any of this has sounded rude at all its not my intent. Wishing you lots of luck

 

 

All of what you say makes sense. We are now too far apart regarding strapons or toys etc because of the loss of intimacy but I know before I knew her she had a few different boyfrends at the same time. I asked her once if she felt guilty playing behind their backs and she said no because both relationships were sex based!

I have hardly had any sex with any woman ever and my wife knows this. When I first told her she thought it was odd but sweet!

 

I might be wrong but we only moved to a new town just before Covid and a local man via the net helped us with odd jobs. I could be wrong but I think she really likes him. We have socialised many times and he always makes her laugh and last week he took her to an antique auction without me. She did ask if I minded as his van only sits two and I said no.

 

This would work as he has not long split from a woman and told me he is happy to be single!

 

Of course I cannot suggest him to my wife but I could say I don't mind. She knows it is one of my fantasies but reality is another thing!

[Deleted Member]

I agree with all the advice above. The underlying message I see is, "call it out".
At the moment you're carrying a lot of weight on you and I think that's a dangerous place to be. It takes two to be in a partnership, especially any kind of DS dynamic. It takes the two of you being totally honest with one another with what your really want to make that work for you both.
Your relationship has obviously evolved into the place it is now and you've both had to make some huge changes for it to settle Into what you've got, but that doesn't mean it's all done there. It's just time to reassess and adjust the course as needed to keep it moving.
I hope asking for advice here has filled your sails a bit and given you some thought about different ways forward but in any case it's going to start with you both talking and putting your cards on the table. Change can be acary but she obviously cares a great deal about you and your relationship.
You may even find you have less to worry about than you thought, especially given your own willingness to allow things to evolve.

[ChasteMale]

21 hours ago, KinkySirXxX said:

I agree with all the advice above. The underlying message I see is, "call it out".
At the moment you're carrying a lot of weight on you and I think that's a dangerous place to be. It takes two to be in a partnership, especially any kind of DS dynamic. It takes the two of you being totally honest with one another with what your really want to make that work for you both.
Your relationship has obviously evolved into the place it is now and you've both had to make some huge changes for it to settle Into what you've got, but that doesn't mean it's all done there. It's just time to reassess and adjust the course as needed to keep it moving.
I hope asking for advice here has filled your sails a bit and given you some thought about different ways forward but in any case it's going to start with you both talking and putting your cards on the table. Change can be acary but she obviously cares a great deal about you and your relationship.
You may even find you have less to worry about than you thought, especially given your own willingness to allow things to evolve.

This makes total sense and we do need to talk and re-engage.

Now to take the plunge!

 

Thank you

[Deleted Member]

12 hours ago, ChasteMale said:

This makes total sense and we do need to talk and re-engage.

Now to take the plunge!

 

Thank you

Hope you come back and let us know how it went. Good luck!