Boundary that didn’t hard to be …

[Da****]

What’s one boundary you used to be flexible on but now guard fiercely — and what taught you that?

Mine is asphyxiation. It does have severe consequences if not executed with extreme care…and something that now runs chills down my spine ..

[Zis]

Liability and loyalty.

[Sa****]

My safety whenever I'm meeting new people. Terrible experience this year 😔

[Eu****]

never let someone talk until i get their full attention first. You have to know how to ask for it because is the only way you have my full focus.

[DY****]

I will not be intimate with anyone within the first 90 days. Because men

[Pr****]

Pictures/videos and my number because people can't always be trusted

[Sweetestsadist]

"Discreet" partners. Or, being told that their spouse is cool with their open dynamic. Only to find out later, that's not the case. So moving forward, insisting on meeting the other half.

[de****]

"seeing where it will go" with people I'm not compatible with

[Pe****]

Not doing it from the back until I’m in a committed long term relationship. Had a guy stealth me. Thankfully I didn’t catch anything but still wtf

[Le****]

I will not be a hard Dom. I used to be an all rounder. I could take charge if someone preferred it, and even had a few moments where I went seeking it out. One person used that to their advantage and found ways to make me regret ever being in a position of power. I can no longer trust myself to do that anymore, so I don’t. There’s a lot to unpack there still.
Sometimes I still feel the urge, but I rarely ever act on that. I do switch on occasion, but I will never ever be “someone’s Dom” ever again.

[TheRigger]

Playing with someone who is not able define their limits - particularly the hard ones.

Now like to know and do explore these in the pre chats - the hard limits (paramount and the boundaries to all play and in the relationship that develops), medium limits (not sure limits not to be pushed unless agreed when both consenting adults are in a frame of mind to agree to push that limit, in other words something that will be NOT be agreed upon when playing) and then the soft limits - the limits that can be pushed if the right circumstances arise - (the use of safe words important for this limit)

Might come across as clinical, it is not if you have that connection where you can be open, the limits can be covered in a general chat when getting to know each other in the early stages of the relationship building process.

[ia****]

Having psychological hard limits rather than physical ones sometimes makes me feel self conscious. (Like I'm totally fine being lit on fire and taking sharps but call me worthless and I will safeword instantly. )

I know my limits well but there are other limits that have arisen in order to protect them- primarily in profiling potential partners. Once upon a time I used to believe that all BDSM players were self displined and could read a contract. Turns out there is a minority of players who fit my standards and no longer feel the necessity to lower them.

[is****]

somnophilia (getting intimate with me while sleeping), spanking and asphyxiation. the first is a recent one. its because if someday im not in the mood i might cause them a dom drop unless they're really really secure of themselves and insist - and i dont want to make them feel like shit. the other two because some people just dont stop when asked, so unless I truly trust the person to the core it has to be progressive

[cl****]

My guard is stupid people. Im happy to allign with people from differing views and ideas but if you have hate in your heart no bdsm will improve that

[Giveandtake777]

Very much like Dave L on asphyxiation - thought understood how to manage risks in theory but have never tried with any partner in practice and now never would , not least following new info here in UK at least on risks of strokes afterwards. - particularly linked to choking out by hand, all part of a toxic "New Vanilla" mysogyny spreading among UK schoolboys it seems! Also now a bit more cautious 're exploring Electro: have always thought safe so long as followed "Not above waist " and other rules, but now looks like is also a risk , though a non fatal one, of significant shrinkage of leg muscles...even if hopefully only linked to anal probes wired "bipolar"??