Are we forgetting how to open the box?

[SJ****]

10 hours ago, jaxnorth said:

I've been online dating on and off for over 26 years, I was an early adopter I was out there from the time of Hot or Not AOL chat rooms Yahoo personals. And I've watched as women have become more and more impatient and intolerant of anyone who doesn't say the perfect things. Women by and large act like nobility. They say goofy things like I don't owe you an answer not responding is an answer you're not entitled to my time and it's like well okay duchess what do you want from me

A woman just explained that she's tired of men ignoring her boundaries, prioritizing sex over connection, and failing to take an interest in who she is. Your response was to ignore everything she said and launch into a complaint about how entitled and intolerant women have become.

You were given a firsthand explanation of what she's looking for, and rather than engage with her as an individual, you made her a representative of everything you dislike about women.

After 26 years of online dating, perhaps some self-reflection about how you approach people is worth considering.

[Wa****]

13 minutes ago, SJVox said:

A woman just explained that she's tired of men ignoring her boundaries, prioritizing sex over connection, and failing to take an interest in who she is. Your response was to ignore everything she said and launch into a complaint about how entitled and intolerant women have become.

You were given a firsthand explanation of what she's looking for, and rather than engage with her as an individual, you made her a representative of everything you dislike about women.

After 26 years of online dating, perhaps some self-reflection about how you approach people is worth considering.

Thankyou for defending me not many would do anything like that it shows me there are still strong male leaders Thankyou

[SJ****]

11 minutes ago, Warriors_Heart112 said:

Thankyou for defending me not many would do anything like that it shows me there are still strong male leaders Thankyou

No worries. :) You made your point clear, too. Strength in numbers. :)

[Wa****]

11 hours ago, jaxnorth said:

I've been online dating on and off for over 26 years, I was an early adopter I was out there from the time of Hot or Not AOL chat rooms Yahoo personals. And I've watched as women have become more and more impatient and intolerant of anyone who doesn't say the perfect things. Women by and large act like nobility. They say goofy things like I don't owe you an answer not responding is an answer you're not entitled to my time and it's like well okay duchess what do you want from me

With all do respect I apologize for seemingly acting like nobility or seeming impatient and intolerant there was a time where I was patient and tolerant and learned the true meaning of *** in all manners of the word my patience and tolerance earned me brain damage and C-PTSD issues and almost death from a Lethally Abusive husband who was given far too many chances to choose better behavior. The Dom guide I speak of is being made to prevent accidental extra damage to myself and to a future Dom by using psychology and Neurology and medical science as a means to educate them on my very many issues and make the relationship safe, secure, and sane. Because bdsm and relationships can kill if no one takes proper safety precautions. Though I am trying to be fair and know not all men mean harm I do feel the need to clarify my needs as a safety measure noting to a future Dom that my neurological path ways and connections are not the same each move I make Reguarding reading bios and assessing threat levels is done with the intent of safety and health as the primary objective because I know first hand that not everyone is safe for me yes this is asserting the need for certain things such as Medically minded safety precautions and protocols because I'd rather a dom be educated than frantic, fired up, and freaked out because I've gone non verbal due to Seizures, Autism or C-PTSD issues this is where experience both my past history and his experience as a dom comes into play for creating a safe and Sane interaction. In all fairness I am more interested in what makes someone tick than what I can get out of them (honestly Girls that use men infuriate me) but me being selective is primarily for insuring safety.

[Interzone]

Interesting that you arrived at this epiphany because these have been my recent ponderings after this summer.

Last night I had to wonder how much of it is financial. Many of the Rich have fallen into hard times, making none of us immune to it.

We've become protective in a world where just having someone's phone number gives them the ability to satellite track you.

[SJ****]

2 hours ago, Warriors_Heart112 said:

With all do respect I apologize for seemingly acting like nobility or seeming impatient and intolerant there was a time where I was patient and tolerant and learned the true meaning of *** in all manners of the word my patience and tolerance earned me brain damage and C-PTSD issues and almost death from a Lethally Abusive husband who was given far too many chances to choose better behavior. The Dom guide I speak of is being made to prevent accidental extra damage to myself and to a future Dom by using psychology and Neurology and medical science as a means to educate them on my very many issues and make the relationship safe, secure, and sane. Because bdsm and relationships can kill if no one takes proper safety precautions. Though I am trying to be fair and know not all men mean harm I do feel the need to clarify my needs as a safety measure noting to a future Dom that my neurological path ways and connections are not the same each move I make Reguarding reading bios and assessing threat levels is done with the intent of safety and health as the primary objective because I know first hand that not everyone is safe for me yes this is asserting the need for certain things such as Medically minded safety precautions and protocols because I'd rather a dom be educated than frantic, fired up, and freaked out because I've gone non verbal due to Seizures, Autism or C-PTSD issues this is where experience both my past history and his experience as a dom comes into play for creating a safe and Sane interaction. In all fairness I am more interested in what makes someone tick than what I can get out of them (honestly Girls that use men infuriate me) but me being selective is primarily for insuring safety.

I'm so sorry you went through all of that, but I also want to emphasize that you didn't need to justify being selective about who you allow into your life. That is your right and you owe no one an explanation of why you seek safety.

Wanting intellectual conversation, trust, and a genuine bond before exploring a dynamic is entirely reasonable, healthy-minded I would say. And given what you've described, taking the time to establish clear expectations and protocols with a prospective Dom is *especially* important. Someone entering that kind of a relationship needs to understand both your needs and their own ability to meet them. That last part is crucial-- you should know whether the prospective D even knows their own strengths and weaknesses.

I think this is what gets lost when women's selectivity is dismissed as entitlement as we are possibly seeing in this conversation. Everyone has their own experiences, boundaries, and reasons for approaching relationships the way they do. Taking the time to understand the person we're dealing with is a pretty fundamental part of getting to know someone.

[Wa****]

3 hours ago, SJVox said:

I'm so sorry you went through all of that, but I also want to emphasize that you didn't need to justify being selective about who you allow into your life. That is your right and you owe no one an explanation of why you seek safety.

Wanting intellectual conversation, trust, and a genuine bond before exploring a dynamic is entirely reasonable, healthy-minded I would say. And given what you've described, taking the time to establish clear expectations and protocols with a prospective Dom is *especially* important. Someone entering that kind of a relationship needs to understand both your needs and their own ability to meet them. That last part is crucial-- you should know whether the prospective D even knows their own strengths and weaknesses.

I think this is what gets lost when women's selectivity is dismissed as entitlement as we are possibly seeing in this conversation. Everyone has their own experiences, boundaries, and reasons for approaching relationships the way they do. Taking the time to understand the person we're dealing with is a pretty fundamental part of getting to know someone.

It's actually part of my pre scene work I was hoping to add I have a habit of extensive research

[jinxed]

On 9/24/2026 at 12:04 PM, AlexStormOffical said:

We keep the box closed because a closed box holds the infinite, flawless potential of Schrödinger’s cat—or in this case, a perfect, simulated partner.

[...] An algorithm can match preferences, keywords, and curated profiles, but it can never calculate the chemical friction of two bodies in a room, the messy vulnerability of shedding roles, or the raw, unpredictable somatic tension that makes a physical connection meaningful.

In my own little thought experiment some days ago, I went one step further. 
Say you have been sent to a distant planet, just you on your own. You know you will never return to Earth and you will live out your days alone up there in space. All you'd have would be your imagination. But through this imagination you could live out the most fulfilling, enticing and enrichening experiences. With enough faculty of imagination, your hand would feel like your simulated / imagined partner's hand, so the physical part could be replaced to some extent, if more was needed there would be high quality toys. This might be an extreme situation, but it shows that it is possible if there is no alternative.   

Engaging in this approach means you can have it all without having to go through any kind of curating, profile studying, disappointing encounters, heartbreak. Admittedly, the prerequisite for living out your relationships and sex life this way is a high level of resignation and indifference. But once you've reached this state, wouldn't it be the softest and most comforting place to land? No more outside source needed, just you and the most powerful human ability. Thus, the box is unopened and opened at the same time. 

[an****]

5 hours ago, jinxed said:

In my own little thought experiment some days ago, I went one step further. 
Say you have been sent to a distant planet, just you on your own. You know you will never return to Earth and you will live out your days alone up there in space. All you'd have would be your imagination. But through this imagination you could live out the most fulfilling, enticing and enrichening experiences. With enough faculty of imagination, your hand would feel like your simulated / imagined partner's hand, so the physical part could be replaced to some extent, if more was needed there would be high quality toys. This might be an extreme situation, but it shows that it is possible if there is no alternative.   

Engaging in this approach means you can have it all without having to go through any kind of curating, profile studying, disappointing encounters, heartbreak. Admittedly, the prerequisite for living out your relationships and sex life this way is a high level of resignation and indifference. But once you've reached this state, wouldn't it be the softest and most comforting place to land? No more outside source needed, just you and the most powerful human ability. Thus, the box is unopened and opened at the same time. 

Yes, this is beautifully is the problem within the solution focused at fixing poor human interaction. Have we created so much indifference or cost to interactions that we've reduced the value of humanity below what we can replace with technology? If the majority of people can leave a book with a smile but a human interaction with a scowl what is the next tier effects 🤔 can we survive the digital replacement for human interactions? Do we become the Calhoun experiment on a global scale? Is there a different way? Do we want a different way?