Brat Question

[Mr****]

23 minutes ago, Bmouse said:

Performance anxiety will often make you blank, its like getting up to talk to a crowd of people. Even if you prepared, and have ideas, you can blank out. Its the stress of the situation and being put on the spot. You want to give the best answer but vapor lock - what if it seems dumb, or too easy, or too hard?

We are often harder on ourselves than others would be, it's a good way to see what your limits are, especially if you unknowingly express a punishment harsher than the dom had planned.

Yes, clear communication and establishing consensual boundaries, as well as, writing down a list of things with possible situations for specific punishments can help both Dom and Sub understand each other's limits. A list can also help mitigate the in-the-moment freeze. If a behavioral situation has a few options for punishments, I like to use a twister spinner or roulette prop. The Dom can choose the punishments, stick them on the board and then have their Sub spin it. This is playful while building suspense. The Sub, if they're feeling extra bratty😜, can also mess with the board or results and try to persuade their Dom into allowing a specific punishment as opposed to leaving it entirely up to luck😉

Then the Dom can further play around with the situation to make it more engaging for the Sub. Praise for spinning the arrow obediently or double down on punishment for bratty attitude and have them spin twice for stacked disciplinary actions😈.

[li****]

I don't know the intentions of those commenting or why the question was asked. Maybe he isn't the best dom, or maybe he is just right for her. Maybe they chose to learn and are both trying to learn together.
I chose to just answer her question to the best of my ability. I am not looking for judgment or criticism.
Take what helps you and dump the rest new-york33290. Safety first, please.

[fi****]

I assume you have both discussed punishments, funishments etc. if it's a one off I can see it being fun letting you choose and then the punishment being escalated from there because you chose something that didn't match.

[Mr****]

19 minutes ago, littleCalico158 said:

I would say it depends on what the bratty behavior is and what your limits are. I haven't experienced these yet, so i can't speak from experience. They are from books I have read and I read ddlg books...so most of my ideas are leaning towards that. So, it is a bit bias. Just please make sure whatever you pick isn't something either of you feels crosses a boundary line.

***Always use safe words!!! Even during a punishment***

Just some quick things that come to mind, depending on what your "crime" was:
- there is the obvious one of spanking
_after spanking, placed in corner
- spanked with a different object you haven't tried before (start with small amount of time)
- pussy slaps
- writing lines
- wearing a diaper (or ***d to use one)
- he gets to cum before you
- anal sex (or plugs)
- oral pleasure given to him or not given to you
- No panties for "X" amount of time
- free use for an "X" amount of time (sex when he chooses)
- no cuming for an "X" amount of time
- eating a healthy food, you don't like

I am sure there are other, I just can't think of them. Hope this helps at least a little.

You're books have given you good advice for this. If you know any good ones that can relate with the OP, share a few titles. A fun punishment could be reading the story aloud to the Dom and not missing a single word. Misses words add more time reading. Such stories can also put both Dom and Sub in the mood for after punishment playtime or rewarding aftercare, while adding ideas for more spicy and encouraging scenes together. I love this idea. I also want to say, I like your take on this post, you spent time on it and were thoughtful. Even if the OP doesn't read this, others will get good ideas from you.

[Mr****]

Your* ...🫠

[Ph****]

Assuming is the worst thing to do and judging someone that you have no clue about their dynamic... please, for the love of God, some of yall really need to stop for a second. Each dynamic is going to be different. There is no dynamic that is the same. They have may came up with an agreement where she is allowed to choose her punishment. There is no right or wrong. When it comes to that . Dynamic can be changed, however you like it...
This person asked for something that was small and some of yall pulling everything out of portion ...

And even if they are new, you still have no right to judge when you can't see inside their dynamic .

And have we forgotten everything is about consent... Dom may want to learn boundaries of punishments... who knows why .. but yall have no right to judge that..

This is worse than kink shaming someone... smh

Yall are like *** who can't play nice with each other

[Mo****]

I was very new a while ago and ran into similar challenges. It actually took me getting upset with a brat repeatedly to discover punishments that satisfied me. Now, like anything else, the punishments are tailored to the individual. Although, I have invested in some very good quality leather for the occasion. 😉

[An****]

Having your mistakes, or reason you're being punished written on you body somewhere, as a reminder od what you did. Made to write it repeatedly on paper for X amount of times. If your into physical punishment, your dom could ask you to pick your own switch for a caning session. Made to kneel in the corner for a duration of time, ( you could add a quarter that you have to hold to the wall with your nose for the time and if it hits the ground time gets added), Made to offer your dom something that pleases them that you dont particularly care for but isn't one of your limitations. I have more if you want

[SJ****]

7 hours ago, TheCalmDominant said:

How bratty do you want to be? You could tell him things that you really like, you could say that you don't deserve punishments, you could have such fun!

Not bad advice if you want to find out real quick if the D has it within them to be a brat tamer. 😆 Some people are just not cut out for that.

[Bo****]

Your dom should be finding that out for themselves through experimentation. They need to try several methods and elevate them until them until a safe word is said. Then you start finding out things you never knew you wanted

[Lo****]

I have so many questions that need answered before I can contribute a meaningful response.....
-What is his reasoning for asking you to suggest what your punishments are?
-Are you both new to this, or just you?
-How long have you been connected for, are you new to him, and he you?

• Is he mearly playing into your bratty nature? Could it be he is setting the tone, and awaiting a cheeky response b/c he gets enjoyment out of feeding the fire and playing with you?

• Maybe he wants a baseline of your comfort zone so he can edge you out of it. Using your suggestions, but tweaking them a bit intensifying them before.
Side note to this is, maybe whatever you list off as sufficient will be cast aside and treated as subpar (meant to be interpreted as him removing any bit of authority you thought you held).

• Is it due to his inexperience and is looking for a helping hand in shaping your dynamic whilst maintaining the upper hand so to say?

• Is that in itself the punishment, as eyemblacksheep already suggested?
(I know it would be for me, to be put on the spot like that, as I shy away from control due to the anxiety it creates)

[As****]

Okay but same 😭

[pl****]

He is searching for punishments that you may like to have done to you that you would enjoy to turn you on not to please him.

[bi****]

A new dom he isn’t fit

[ka****]

The punishment should fit the crime

[Do****]

^ this

[Noshgobble]

A good Dom knows how to figure out a good punishment rather than leaving you to do all the guesswork.

[Ke****]

Have him make you sit/kneel on a pile of ice. When they decide you have been punished enough the temperature change between your under regions and their hands/mouth will be extreme.

Shit im horny now.

[la****]

you'll be just fine. it's all innocent fun as long as there is mutual consent.

[sa****]

some ideas: the punishment is to go shopping with your dom and try on whatever he tells you to; to bend over his knee and ask him pretty please for spanks; to get on your knees and open wide; to spank yourself on your clit as many times as he deems necessary; to write lines 20x (something naughty ofc); to clean his room wearing lingerie; ok i could go on, but i’ll stop here.

[Mr****]

If your Dom is a very introspective person, they may be instructing you to find a punishment because they're trying to map you out in an abstract way. That isn't necessarily lazy or poor form; rather, they may be going an extra step and trying to read subtler psychological cues about who you are and what you like or dislike. That can suggest a Dom that is deeply interested in having you fully fall for them instead of just being "cool with" them.

I challenge you, gently, to consider your misbehavior in a suggested punishment. If you've been backsassing, suggest enduring a ball gag for extended time, or making your mouth free use for a bit. If you've been inappropriately handsy, suggest that your hands be bound, or that your hands be his hands for any of his tasks for a day.

This can be fun if you make it relatable, and in that case there are only a variety of "differently right" answers. No hard thoughts, only stiff ones.

[TripleXHexxx]

I'm a Dominant and a brat, so I would suggest stuff like..

Oh, it would really be punishment if you made me use your credit card to shop for new outfits