The Paper Doll Effect

[Ma****]

Have you ever been on a date or just messaging someone and you start feeling uncomfortable or replaceable and you don't know why? There's a reason and I just saw a video online that introduced The Paper Doll Effect, putting a name to something I have seen for decades. I warn submissives about this, but it goes both ways.

For example, I am seeking more than a hookup (demisexual, wanting a LTR). When I agree to take anything off an app or meet someone, I look for a few things. If they spend the entire time talking about their kinks and what they want and never ask any personal questions about me or my life, I get out of there and tell them it won't work out. They're not interested in getting to know me, they want me as an object. I could be any submissive and they would still be having the same date. I'm a Paper Doll for them to attach their desires, wants, and kinks to with temporary paper tabs. They usually also include a combination of three phrases.

If they say 'You're not like the rest of them' that's another red flag. They're separating you from others, making you think your experience is unique so you don't compare notes. 'I feel like I have known you forever/a long time' means they are collapsing boundaries fast and not for good reason. The worst one is 'Nobody else gets me like you do' because that can make *** people want to work to be the exception even when it costs them.

Please look for these things. A bad actor will reword things, but the pattern remains the same. Stay vigilant and safe.

Do you have any stories like this that would help another person avoid a mistake? Please share so we can all learn.

[To****]

Thank you for this. I an entirely new to this lifestyle and this is helpful information

[Ma****]

I'm unsure why v*lnerable was censored. Weird.

[pa****]

Oh my god thank you for this it actually has opened my eyes to a lot now

[cu****]

It’s also super fun when they keep chasing and say they want you emotionally, mentally, and sexually and want exclusivity. Then when you agree they suddenly don’t want a “relationship “ because you’re on a “Fu*k site. You should know better than to try to find something real on here. Mind boggling for sure.

[FE****]

18 minutes ago, MaryTylerWhore said:

I'm unsure why v*lnerable was censored. Weird.

App Store rules about the censorship of certain words.  

[Ma****]

9 minutes ago, FETMod-RG said:

App Store rules about the censorship of certain words.  

That makes more sense now. Thank you!

[FE****]

Just now, MaryTylerWhore said:

 

That makes more sense now. Thank you!

Sometimes the words are obvious, sometimes the letters that are the issue are embedded in a larger word.  People who have a hobby where they use brushes and coloured oil to create a picture can get very confused when their hobby gets censored because something that shouldn't happen without consent gets identified lol 

[Au****]

No way! I needed to read that! Thanks for the info, that's wild!!!

[ay****]

Back on subject,, those are actually sop"standard operating procedure" for narcissists. Looking for prey,, and,, ? Empaths are, from what I have gathered, very much drawn to the lifestyle but, this is where bad things can happen if care isn't taken. Also hard to cry "***" I don't want to use the R word, once you've actually asked to be tied up,, and,, all the other fun things.
But stop means no. UK law states that it doesn't matter when it's said,, but getting sympathy if you have discussed impact play?
So, listen to your in-tuition,,
It's your teacher after all,, or rather,, before all.
Stay safe.

[cl****]

Each person to their own . Trust your instincts and just do you. Cant hate others for catching feelings on you at the end of the day they are human. But i agree the scenes starting to get alot of actors and fakes just dragging for the add dopamine fix.

[Ro****]

Classic chaser behavior. They put all their energy into winning you over, and the moment that phase ends, they find a convenient excuse to blame the platform rather than own their own boredom

[mi****]

This is also narcissist traits. Narcissist make terrible doms. In general be wary of love bombers . Saw a Guy for two weeks he loved bombed the hell out of me since I have dealt with this before I said just for fun I'll let it play out I was told he did nothing to me and also he's sorry for what he did to me. I'm stupid and dumb as rocks 3 hours ago I was the best thing ever he did not fail to entertain thank God he didn't know where I lived dude called and texted me so much my phone glitched and I couldn't block him. In his defense I instigated it. I never did anything but I would have stopped talking to him after the first meeting but his spiral was so funny since I was not invested so I kept in contact to just laugh but he was becoming unhinged so I stopped. There should be a website where you could warn others with proof of course I'm sorry for the next woman if she can't see the signs