He Was Nice To Me Once Too

[Pr****]

One of the most dangerous misconceptions about @busive people is that they’re always mean. That the warning signs will be so obvious that you’ll recognize them immediately. Surely someone capable of hurting you wouldn’t make you feel so good in the beginning.

He was nice to me once too.

He was attentive, affectionate, charming. He made me feel wanted, appreciated, protected, and safe. He knew exactly what to say and how to make me feel like I was something special. Said he’s never felt this way too. That I was different. But I wasn’t and neither are you. He had a way of making me believe that the gentleness I experienced was a reflection of who he truly was.

And that’s the thing about people who are capable of great harm and destruction. They aren’t incapable of being kind. They aren’t incapable of affection, generosity, tenderness, or making someone feel loved. They can be wonderful company. They can be thoughtful partners. They can make you laugh until your stomach hurts.

They can also be cruel. They can call you the most awful names. They can tell you they wish they never met you.

The two aren’t mutually exclusive.

This is especially important to understand in dynamics involving dominance and submission. There’s a significant difference between a man who understands the responsibility that comes with being trusted with someone’s vulnerability and one who uses that vulnerability as an opportunity for control.

Don’t confuse someone’s ability to be gentle with an inability to be a monster you don’t recognize.

Don’t assume that because he treats you wonderfully today, that he couldn’t be the person who causes bruise, makes you question your self worth, take you to the lowest you’ve ever been tomorrow.

And please don’t dismiss someone else’s experience simply because you’ve only ever seen his good side.. when the walls start crumbling in on the place you called home, when there is only *** where love used to live. You’ll see what all those before you have.

He was nice to me once too.

I didn’t fall for someone who was mean to me from the beginning. I fell for someone who gave me plenty of reasons to believe he was a good man. I fell for the man who cried alligator tears and made hollow promises that it would get better that they would stop hurting you. I fell for the man who wrote me a letter of apology saying how “we” needed help after the night where tears and pleas were not enough to stop him.

When someone tells you who he can became behind closed doors, believe them.

I heard this spoken word once that really stuck with me. I don’t remember the exact words or the author, but the meaning stuck with me.

I will never feel jealous of the next person you love. I will hold space for her. I will send her silent strength in case she too needs to flee. I will grieve for her. I will pray she is stronger and smarter than I was. But I will never be jealous of her, because I know just how much it cost to be loved (to be chosen) by you.

[cr****]

So true, its a shame that some people deceive and play with our hearts and minds to get in, then the comfortable part is there, then one day they show true colors. It seems a waste of time, loss of time with someone you told all the things you didn't find attractive but that person was that person all along, they just acted the part you liked them to be. Then struck when it felt to comfortable.
I been there as a man, I been there

[br****]

I just left a 13yr marriage because of all this. His next gf I feel the same way about. I will never be jealous of her. I will always hold space for her and grieve for her. She already let him move in and its only been 3wks for them. 🫣