Messaging her on FB, yes or no?

[Deleted Member]

There are so much about this question on the internet, but I would like to ask you guys here as well...I met a girl while I was doing a job for her friend and we had a nice conversation, I could feel it was different and we both wanted to continue speaking... I should have remained professional (or may be I shouldn't have) so I didn't make any move... But well after losing the chance I felt very regretful. I managed to find her on FB, have already written a considerate script but haven't sent it yet. Now the question is, would it be creepy/impulsive to message her just because we had a nice conversation? Will I have to add her before messaging? I know the worst case scenario is getting blocked and I don't mind it as I at least want to try my chance, but I'd like to make the best move. I'd appreciate everyone's answer especially ladies' answers as they might have had this type of FB messages before.
Cheers

[Deleted Member]

Absolutely you should send it. 😊

[jo****]

Stay professional and don't message her.

[Ro****]

Add her first imo. If she denies/ignores it you let her and yourself save face about it

[jo****]

Gonna explain what I meant a bit more. Just cause you had a nice conversation doesn't mean anything. You messaging her on fb could make her wary about having strangers in her house. Also if she complains that someone there in a professional capacity tra ked her down online it could cost you your job.

[ra****]

You should

[sa****]

Just be real casual about it and don’t have any expectations. I’d say that at time you wanted to remain professional, ask if she’d like to pick up where you left off if she’s comfortable with doing so

[Deleted Member]

Only live once

[zi****]

Hopeless romantic here so temper my biased judgement here, but just effin do it! Initial impressions and gut instincts aren't wrong nearly as often as the brain is. Your brain stopped you from listening to your heart when "professionalism" entered your head. Careers are a human invention, but real human connection is not.

[Th****]

Never mix business with pleasure, even more so in bdsm. Unless you approach this very carefully you are sharing your fantasy with someone who has not even given implied consent for that. Tread carefully my friend.

[ge****]

Absolutely not - there's a whole heap of problems with doing so that could ultimately lead to you losing your job or further business or possibly worse.
.
Just because you had a "nice conversation" in a business capacity means nothing - it was a situation where you were there to do a job and she was probably being polite for the duration of time you were there.
.
The only way you could possibly proceed would be to follow up with the person you were doing the job for to see if they were happy with the job, and maybe mention in passing how nice their friend was (without being creepy about it) and see if they say anything.
.
If you contact her on FB out of the blue she may find it creepy that you have tracked her down that way.

[Ro****]

A thought did occur, how detailed is this message?

[Deleted Member]

5 minutes ago, RoundedSwitch54 said:

A thought did occur, how detailed is this message?

You mean the message I might send to her?

[Deleted Member]

As a woman, I wouldn't mind. In fact, I would find it... digitally romantic, for the lack of a better term. But, without adding her first, your message will go to her "message request" folder which is very very very often missed. Keep it short and sweet... "hello, hope you don't mind I looked you up but I really enjoyed our conversation and thought it might be mutual. If so, feel free to get back to me. Respectfully yours,
DOMINANT_3000

P.S. use your government name. Lol

[Deleted Member]

8 minutes ago, Scorpio_Girl said:

As a woman, I wouldn't mind. In fact, I would find it... digitally romantic, for the lack of a better term. But, without adding her first, your message will go to her "message request" folder which is very very very often missed. Keep it short and sweet... "hello, hope you don't mind I looked you up but I really enjoyed our conversation and thought it might be mutual. If so, feel free to get back to me. Respectfully yours,
DOMINANT_3000

P.S. use your government name. Lol

I get what you mean about my message getting lost, but don't want to push my luck while we even haven't had a date. Makes sense? Oh actually, I've written her a letter 🤣 and it's another thing that I'm trying to sort out. But thanks for the idea, it was helpful

[zi****]

There you go! Dominate the heck out of your first shot, WHILE ALSO being hopelessly romantic about it with the letter!

[Nylon-Nellie]

I would find it creepy, that a tradesmen has gone to great lengths to find out my full name and then to track me down on Facebook. Yes, you should of remained professional. As above, I would ask for feedback from the person that you did the job for and mention 'in passing' about her friend. 

[zi****]

Sometimes I'm torn between between pragmatism and idealism, and far as romantic ideals are concerned, Disney and Hallmark movies are wonderful. However, it does seem more likely that showing up at the digital doorstep of this unknowing girl in question is more likely to evoke the internet's equivalent of a groin kick or pepper spray.

[In****]

All honestly in my personal opinion why not I’d go for she definitely see and appreciate that fact you reach out to find her. I could promise you that much for sure tho.

[ey****]

given you have a mutual friend - why not talk to your friend first ?  It feels less like you've been combing facebook to find her

[Deleted Member]

As long as it’s simple and just a normal conversation it will be fine, don’t over think it, did you check to see if she’s in a relationship first ?

[ge****]

35 minutes ago, In2leather said:

All honestly in my personal opinion why not I’d go for she definitely see and appreciate that fact you reach out to find her. I could promise you that much for sure tho.

Thing is you can't promise that - because she may not "appreciate" that the OP has tracked her down as he has - she may find it the complete opposite and quite creepy.

[Deleted Member]

Yeah tbh I'd find it creepy and that's coming from a bitch who is into some pretty sus stuff. Defs talk to your mutual friend first, try to set this up more organically than a random FB add and you'll be ok

[Deleted Member]

Fair enough, but life can change in a day and as long as it’s a soft easy message to start with it should be fine, she will either be interested or not, but things unsaid can be amazing things missed

[ey****]

2 hours ago, gemini_man said:

Thing is you can't promise that - because she may not "appreciate" that the OP has tracked her down as he has - she may find it the complete opposite and quite creepy.

that also going the other way - while the OP stated the worst that could happen is she blocks him (not taking into consideration her feelings) it's not.  The worst she could do (that affects him) is tell the mutual friends she was creeped on by him and that affect another friendship.