Little and Daddy dynamic . Whats going on?

[Deleted Member]

Okay I’m a little hi welcome to my confusion .
So many Daddy Doms /littles or all this over the past I’d say 4 years from what I’ve seen become super sexual . I hate it. I started on Kik at 19 it was super sexual to begin with but holy hell has it gotten creepier and worse. I can tell people no I’m not sexual while little and the continue to go “oh it’s fine “.. MOST LITTLES USE LITTLE SPACE AS SAFETY. We don’t want sex during it so why do so many cgs feel the need to say/do sexual things .
Idk if it’s lack of research ,vetting, respect or what going on but it’s so common lately. Idk if it’s the media side either like how tumbler made that surge of hyper sexual crazy of bdsm stuff but bro.

I feel like if you start being into Ddlg, cgl all that research is a must however it seems no one tries that anymore it’s jump in head first . Is this the new norm? I’m Uber confused lately on wtf is up.
I’m all for sexual stuff you do you boo . Humans have needs but there’s such a lack of communication just hop in a bam let’s go..
maybe it’s me but anyone else notice it’s just lacking the whole vetting process 😅.
Sorry if I sound weird i suck at communicating my thoughts yall.

[Deleted Member]

Love to have a little and look after them properly

[fo****]

I do think there’s a big miscommunication from the little and little space vs guys just like being called daddy during sex/ age play..

[Deleted Member]

I don’t see it as vetting at all. It’s about recognizing and respecting boundaries. I’ve known many littles who aren’t sexual in littlespace but to say that most don’t is a generalization and contrary to my 8+ years of real life experience as a daddy Dom. In any event, If a cg doesn’t respect that your littlespace is non-sexual, it’s the same thing as a Dom not respecting a safe word or trying to convince someone to “try” something they have labeled as a hard limit.
A lot of Doms and cgs don’t take the time to earn respect and trust or to learn about the needs and limits of their partners. The bigger issue is giving these clueless Doms too much leeway. Once they’ve shown that they don’t respect your limits, block them and move on. It will save a lot of anxiety and harsh conversations. These incidents often occur at a time early on when they should be trying to earn respect and trust which makes it even more egregious and just a sign of worse things to come.

[Deleted Member]

I find it a “daddy Dom” messages me and instantly is using pet names I know the do not respect me or the dynamic and I won’t reply to them. If someone messages me and I say no but they keep making it sexual, then I don’t bother as that’s disrespectful to.
The TRUE daddy Dom’s are the ones that want to form a vanilla relationship first and then when the dynamic starts to come into play it’s all discussed and consented to. And stuck to. I wouldn’t text a guy back in tinder if he was trying to fu(k on the first message.

I think a lot of people have learned about bdsm from the media and just assume it’s like that without doing any research.

[Deleted Member]

Why was my comment deleted???

[fi****]

You are completely right. It’s like no one understands that when we were little it’s for comfort and safety. I’ve struggled with being open about my little head space now because before it was either made sexual or I was called weird and disgusting. I just wish people were more open and understanding.

[Deleted Member]

For some reason larger comments are not popping up I have no clue why, I’m not deleting anything or getting notifications even 😅. Someone said it’s buggy for them . If anyone knows how to fix this dumb thing lemme know

[Deleted Member]

22 minutes ago, fort-worth101 said:

I do think there’s a big miscommunication from the little and little space vs guys just like being called daddy during sex/ age play..

I do too it’s also is glamorized a lot

[na****]

Thank you. I like my little space as a safe space and somewhere I won't have to decide and someone else would care for me.

[Deleted Member]

Okay weird I have to go through the forum not just my notifications -_- fet . Fix it😂

[FETMOD-TF]

4 minutes ago, nycgentledaddy said:

Why was my comment deleted???

It wasn't deleted.  All content in the Kink Academy must be approved by a Moderator, so it was just waiting to be approved. 

[Deleted Member]

3 minutes ago, firefighterbrat said:

You are completely right. It’s like no one understands that when we were little it’s for comfort and safety. I’ve struggled with being open about my little head space now because before it was either made sexual or I was called weird and disgusting. I just wish people were more open and understanding.

Exactly ! No one is and social media from what I’ve seen hasn’t helped ..

[Deleted Member]

Totally agree with you both. Littles are adorable and should always be respected

[Deleted Member]

1 minute ago, FETMOD-TF said:

It wasn't deleted.  All content in the Kink Academy must be approved by a Moderator, so it was just waiting to be approved. 

Thank you

[Deleted Member]

26 minutes ago, nycgentledaddy said:

I don’t see it as vetting at all. It’s about recognizing and respecting boundaries. I’ve known many littles who aren’t sexual in littlespace but to say that most don’t is a generalization and contrary to my 8+ years of real life experience as a daddy Dom. In any event, If a cg doesn’t respect that your littlespace is non-sexual, it’s the same thing as a Dom not respecting a safe word or trying to convince someone to “try” something they have labeled as a hard limit.
A lot of Doms and cgs don’t take the time to earn respect and trust or to learn about the needs and limits of their partners. The bigger issue is giving these clueless Doms too much leeway. Once they’ve shown that they don’t respect your limits, block them and move on. It will save a lot of anxiety and harsh conversations. These incidents often occur at a time early on when they should be trying to earn respect and trust which makes it even more egregious and just a sign of worse things to come.

I agree . Worse does come sadly and so many of these newer doms don’t see it as they are pushing the limits . I love that you compared it to using a safe word because it really is . I’ve had so many cgs and Dom just push and push because they can while we’re in little space . Then we’re like tf just happened and hurt while they are just like “cool got my needs met” -_-.
I had a cg jump head first as well within a week I was like “dude you don’t even know my name or even say a allergy I have to food how are you going to be my cg” .

[Deleted Member]

18 minutes ago, 0babymae said:

I find it a “daddy Dom” messages me and instantly is using pet names I know the do not respect me or the dynamic and I won’t reply to them. If someone messages me and I say no but they keep making it sexual, then I don’t bother as that’s disrespectful to.
The TRUE daddy Dom’s are the ones that want to form a vanilla relationship first and then when the dynamic starts to come into play it’s all discussed and consented to. And stuck to. I wouldn’t text a guy back in tinder if he was trying to fu(k on the first message.

I think a lot of people have learned about bdsm from the media and just assume it’s like that without doing any research.

I hate that . The pet names are so special and earned /given out of care for me.
Exactly it’s literally like dating anyone else in life but cuz they see bdsm they go oh “screw using my brain use my other part “ .
Also ya media hasn’t help this community at all . Not to mention all the hate and stigma

[Deleted Member]

9 minutes ago, nastassiastark said:

Thank you. I like my little space as a safe space and somewhere I won't have to decide and someone else would care for me.

Agreed . It’s my safe place and I don’t wanna make my own choices I make enough already daily lol.

[Deleted Member]

21 minutes ago, Liltulip said:

I agree . Worse does come sadly and so many of these newer doms don’t see it as they are pushing the limits . I love that you compared it to using a safe word because it really is . I’ve had so many cgs and Dom just push and push because they can while we’re in little space . Then we’re like tf just happened and hurt while they are just like “cool got my needs met” -_-.
I had a cg jump head first as well within a week I was like “dude you don’t even know my name or even say a allergy I have to food how are you going to be my cg” .

But what I don’t get is why should they be allowed to push more than once. Once you see that they’re not respecting you as a sub and or little; why do they deserve any more of your time/ service etc

Why isn’t that a dealbreaker? Shouldn’t it be? The worse can never come if it’s shutdown when it should be.

[Deleted Member]

Unfortunately this is a common thing with many D/s relationships. As I see it. And have done a post of this. The issue is confusion on the part of “Dom(me)” that confuse submission with subjugation.
I advocate for clear communications. The establishment of boundaries and treating women with respect until. A space has become safe and the bottom partner agrees to submit. Most Dominants I find. Expect subjugation right away. And part of the reason this persist is many bottoms think. Because of social media, porn hub and Hollywood, that subjugation is the same as submission. I am sure you clearly communicated this boundary with your Dom and they didn’t listen. Keep trying but weed out anyone that tries to subjugate you right away. I personally ask a partner what they want to be called and when. As one of my introductory messages. And never assume the Dominant role until we agree to it. Because I respect my sub. Even when I’m humiliating her within the confines of our agreed upon roles and kinks. Good luck. I am sure the right Dom is out there for you.

[Deleted Member]

I don't know much about that stuff. I know I'm more on the dom side but I'm a switch. But I also know that a lot of guys have no respect for someone's personal choices and only think with their dick. Nobody should have to say no more than once or feel ***d into something. If you want privacy or alone time, you should be able to get it

[VD****]

Guys are just prioritizing sex over treating their little with the care they are suppose to. Iv noticed allot if the caregiver doms want to have sex with their little in little space. To me that seems like they have more of a thing to fuck kids over people their age

[De****]

5 hours ago, Liltulip said:

Okay I’m a little hi welcome to my confusion .
So many Daddy Doms /littles or all this over the past I’d say 4 years from what I’ve seen become super sexual . I hate it. I started on Kik at 19 it was super sexual to begin with but holy hell has it gotten creepier and worse. I can tell people no I’m not sexual while little and the continue to go “oh it’s fine “.. MOST LITTLES USE LITTLE SPACE AS SAFETY. We don’t want sex during it so why do so many cgs feel the need to say/do sexual things .
Idk if it’s lack of research ,vetting, respect or what going on but it’s so common lately. Idk if it’s the media side either like how tumbler made that surge of hyper sexual crazy of bdsm stuff but bro.

I feel like if you start being into Ddlg, cgl all that research is a must however it seems no one tries that anymore it’s jump in head first . Is this the new norm? I’m Uber confused lately on wtf is up.
I’m all for sexual stuff you do you boo . Humans have needs but there’s such a lack of communication just hop in a bam let’s go..
maybe it’s me but anyone else notice it’s just lacking the whole vetting process 😅.
Sorry if I sound weird i suck at communicating my thoughts yall.

Well imo, the communication is key, if one or both parties of the dynamic decide to jump in head first then vetting and knowledge of the other is usually dismissed until something a little untoward comes up.  It is important to know each others desires wants and needs and using the usual kink acronyms during vetting is crucial if you want a safe trustworthy respectful partner and taking time in this process helps you get to know someone and far too many are too eager to jump in and just enjoy the kink which is fine if it is just kink you are looking for.  But when a dynamic or relationship is sought then vetting is essential, get to know each other whether it be two or more partners.

[is****]

No because you are very right, i had a daddy dom and he always wanted to do sexual stuff when i was in little space only meanwhile i just feel safe and cope with trauma that way, they are called "care-givers" for a reason lol. And when i told people that i'm a little they all had opinions without researching first. They confuse age play with little space. I'm getting so tired of ittttt 😫

[De****]

49 minutes ago, isabellasofi said:

No because you are very right, i had a daddy dom and he always wanted to do sexual stuff when i was in little space only meanwhile i just feel safe and cope with trauma that way, they are called "care-givers" for a reason lol. And when i told people that i'm a little they all had opinions without researching first. They confuse age play with little space. I'm getting so tired of ittttt 😫

That is just their ignorance in which you can either choose to educate or choose to leave them in their ignorance all dependent upon the importance you place upon the relationship with each person