Popular Post sW**** Posted June 23, 2022 Popular Post Posted June 23, 2022 I think it is a good idea to be as open as possible. I like to respond to general queries with a bit about me. For example... To Master/Dom (small "i" to show respect): i have had slave training with a kind but talented sadist. However, i don't have the disposition to be fully submissive. I like scenes and ***. This way, they know a) I'm not an easy mark and b) I am not serious D/s, M/s partner material. Do you give a heads-up? Whats your heads-up style?
ey**** Posted June 23, 2022 Posted June 23, 2022 I think my heads up is... I'm married. My wife knows I'm here. We can do meets, casual play and it might turn into a relationship - that you'd be put first where appropriate but my wife would ultimately be the most important.
Ch**** Posted June 23, 2022 Posted June 23, 2022 My heads up is speak to me as a person and i show the same, they will know i dont call anyone by a title and dont call me one from the start. If they have taken the time to read my profile they will know some basics and hopefully work from there with on going conversation. I would never message saying stuff about me as a first message, it would be based on something ive seen on their profile and my reason for contacting them.
ge**** Posted June 23, 2022 Posted June 23, 2022 Personally my "heads up" such that it is, and it's not a conscious thing, is to be myself, communicate with people respectfully and considerately just as I would in any other walk of life - if things then develop from there into more detailed conversations about my submissive side then I'll still be myself and answer accordingly. . For me, it's connection and chemistry first and kink second all the way - and until I *am* submissive to someone I show no deference in that respect and if I do, it's because it has happened naturally and organically as we've got to know each other. . Just because someone says they are dominant, doesn't mean they are, nor does it mean they are dominant to me.
an**** Posted June 23, 2022 Posted June 23, 2022 For many men (I've heard them say), it is about being able to relax, make no decisions, have no control in a world where they feel they are expected to be in control of their emotions and actions and the lives of others on a near-constant basis. ***This isn't a man vs woman thing or a social debate, so plz for the love of drag queens, don't go there.***.
DarkArts1066 Posted June 23, 2022 Posted June 23, 2022 As gemini_man posted above, I have no agenda when I message someone for the first time. They have usually sparked my interest in some way, and my message to them will be measured, well considered, polite (I never use honorifics until we have established a rapport - for example) and will contain some information about myself, and usually a question about them. The question serves two purposes. Quite often, I will have a genuine question to ask - about their profile, or their interests, but it also allows me in part to gauge their personality through their response. First impressions count - whether you believe that as an absolute or not, as humans we make assumptions about other humans in the blink of an eye. It is inherent in our nature, and part of our ‘fight or flight’ conditioning. Once that rapport is established, then I will open up.. and hope the other party does the same. It is usually a measured response based on the amount of information they are willing to share. You won’t get my life history, just by telling me that you live in a small village near Grantham - for example. I never lie. About myself, or my interests - or my level of experience. Lies get found out. Simple. We are all here for the same thing, and coercing someone into a ‘relationship’ of sorts with you, based on a lie or lies is a bad way to start the process .. although I know a lot of people tailor their profiles to suit their ‘target matter’ In short, the advice I would give anyone would be “Be honest about yourself, but don’t be tempted to overshare too quickly”
sW**** Posted June 23, 2022 Author Posted June 23, 2022 5 hours ago, andrejackson said: For many men (I've heard them say), it is about being able to relax, make no decisions, have no control in a world where they feel they are expected to be in control of their emotions and actions and the lives of others on a near-constant basis. ***This isn't a man vs woman thing or a social debate, so plz for the love of drag queens, don't go there.***. Nice direct quote from me on another thread. :)
Lo**** Posted June 23, 2022 Posted June 23, 2022 14 hours ago, sWitchHazel said: To Master/Dom (small "i" to show respect): i have had slave training with a kind but talented sadist. However, I … I’ve never seen the use of a lowercase i to show respect. I couldn’t do it - my inner grammar tyrant simply wouldn’t allow it 😂
ey**** Posted June 23, 2022 Posted June 23, 2022 that was something things like capital protocol (which can include referring to yourself with a lower 'i') is a form of assuming a dynamic. It should never be expected (or really done) unless it's agreed
sW**** Posted June 23, 2022 Author Posted June 23, 2022 1 hour ago, Lockfairy said: I’ve never seen the use of a lowercase i to show respect. I couldn’t do it - my inner grammar tyrant simply wouldn’t allow it 😂 It's ***y hard to do; I cringe. But, yeah...I was taught by a trainer to use lowercase "i" if a slave and uppercase "You" if Master/rix.
sW**** Posted June 23, 2022 Author Posted June 23, 2022 17 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said: that was something things like capital protocol (which can include referring to yourself with a lower 'i') is a form of assuming a dynamic. It should never be expected (or really done) unless it's agreed It's true. I definitely don't recommend others using my preferred method. It can come off as presumptuous. That was just an example of a response I might give when someone approaches me and has very different needs and roles listed on their profile. Good point.
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