Fetish.com
Login FREE SIGN-UP
Jump to content

Spit or swallow?

su****

By su****
in BDSM Forum

 Share

Recommended Posts

su****

su****

Posted
How do I overcome (no pun intended) my visceral distaste of cum?

Like if somebody ejaculates into my mouth I immediately start to gag, which is rude, I don't necessarily dislike the taste of cum, but the act of a cock ejaculating into my mouth brings back memories of something I wish to forget.

But it's odd to me, because I don't let anything else about those memories phase me.

I just want to be a good sub and learn how to not essentially freak out. Because if I'm tied up and can't move and gag it could be bad.

I actually have a phobia of vomit (Emetophobia).
So any tips?
CinderElla-6366

CinderElla-6366

Posted
Hey im a new sub and have never tasted anything and have had a *** for it, but I can help with the trauma aspect, first let your partner know if they aren't willing to work with you then they aren't for you, next meditate on the memory why does the ejaculating part stick out the most?, next it's a good idea to talk to someone about it, and having a good dom that will help you and not *** you would help, I suggest taking it one step at a time with them, maybe not finish in your
Ri****

Ri****

Posted
Replace the bad moment with a good one you control. Using blindfold on partner or yourself, distract yourself with a toy or being bound and letting someone you trust use you in a way. Even change of enviroment can help like enjoyable music, also light a candle scent that enjoyable so body and mind more relaxed.
Jo****

Jo****

Posted
If something makes you uncomfortable and you don't like it, don't do it, politeness or being a good sub be damned. Memories aren't meant to come up so consistently, so the fact it comes up every time, that it "freaks you out", and you try to repress it (since everything else about those memories you don't mind) tells us that the memory bothers you more than you let on in your post. There are way to deal with it, even override the memory, but that's more the area of a sexual therapist and not random strangers on the internet or self-treatment. Just a reminder that there doesn't have to be anything wrong with you to use a therapist and even the most healthy of people use them exactly because of things like this.

In the meantime, I suggest telling this to your dom. A dom is in a way an amateur therapist supposed to help you with problems like this, and perhaps there is a way to compromise if theyre dead set on ejaculating in your mouth. Being a good sub means communication and being able to set boundaries and working with your partner. Maybe working up to it would help? Ejaculating in other places and seeing if that brings up memories too? Could work from chest to neck to face to lips to tongue until memories no longer come up or bother you as much. It's not the healthiest long term solution because you're not dealing with the underlying cause, but it could help in the short term. Perhaps doing it in a gentler way could help as well if it's the intensity that is triggering you- it would also be less likely to give you the "vomiting" sensation.
MrJim

MrJim

Posted
I don’t know what happened to you but whatever it was you are triggered by having someone cum in your mouth, don’t do it. It’s simple as that it’s obvious that it is a hard limit so don’t do it, there are plenty of other places someone can cum that if they want to be with you they can comply with your wishes. Does it do the same on your face? Or in another hole? If not problem solved. People have limits and triggers from past experiences and we all have to be aware of and respect them.
TheSpicyCleaner

TheSpicyCleaner

Posted

A good kind Dom will work with you if this is something you really want to move past. You'll need some really good foundations of trust and this will be a "work up to it" type thing. 

If it's too upsetting or risks simply re-traumatising yourself over then it's just not worth it babe. 

Use your safe words, Amber (slow down) and red (straight up stop) in my case. 

Try not to get into a position where by someone is potentially going to cum in you haven't told them about this. 

Side question, how do you feel about someone ejaculating on you? Tummy, bum, boobs, cheeks? 

I'm sure there are many people who are just as happy to see their come all over you... 

 

Take care of you first xx

 

vicvega

vicvega

Posted

Hi Sub4fun87, wanting to be a good sub should never involve forcing yourself into doing something traumatic or which dredges up traumatic memories, so you shouldn’t be down on yourself for feeling you just can’t do that. Any understanding Dom or partner should reassure you that they won’t expect you to traumatise yourself all over again just for their sexual fix.

vicvega

vicvega

Posted

If you can’t swallow the thought of it, don’t go down there or you’ll come to a sticky end. Just let it blow over and it’ll be a load off your mind. If he doesn’t like it he can suck it up. 👍

vicvega

vicvega

Posted
4 hours ago, C-2942 said:

I'm the same, I automatically gag around cum. No idea why and tbh it's annoying me, but I just carry on. I actually like the taste so I'm clueless

Actually, if you mix one load with a teaspoon of sodium bicarbonate it’s great for cleaning burnt pots and pans.

HamCoBondage

HamCoBondage

Posted
4 minutes ago, vicvega said:

If you can’t swallow the thought of it, don’t go down there or you’ll come to a sticky end. Just let it blow over and it’ll be a load off your mind. If he doesn’t like it he can suck it up. 👍

You so punny

vicvega

vicvega

Posted
10 minutes ago, HamCoBondage said:

You so punny

I just have a very punny way of speaking sometimes

DeviantInside

DeviantInside

Posted
There are two aspects of this from what I can tell, though they may be linked. It sounds like there is both a trauma response and a phobia (though it may be possible that the emetophobia was created through the trauma, I don’t know the history). There are things you can do yourself, all phobias are a pattern match in the hippocampus that tells you to react in the same way as last time. You can counter this to some extent both with positive visualisations and creating positive new matches… though the problem here is if not done well this may only rein*** the pattern match. Therapy can definitely help, I have successfully treated both and trauma with emetophobia with hypnotherapy. There are various modalities out there but ones you may want to look at are solution focused therapies as they look at moving forward without going over the past, which can be ideal for trauma as quite often the last thing people want/need is to talk about (and potentially rein***) something they have had to many times before. Then there are techniques like rewind and reframe which are proven to have good success rates with phobias (my caveat here is if the emetophobia is trauma induced it ma be better to avoid the rewind section and focus on reframing).

If you have any questions feel free to ask me here or in DM, I’m not here to shill my services so not going to just try to sign you up to anything.
Ma****

Ma****

Posted
Also dont forget that everyones cum tastes different (including vaginal secretes), same as everyone smells different
TitusSilverstone

TitusSilverstone

Posted
The best thing I can offer for advice on this is, that is just a mental block you need to get passed. If you know what is causing it, then try to break out of it, if not try to find what is causing it.


But, I would like to mention. You have a right to your limits, swallowing or spitting doesn't make a bad sub, a good dom would be supportive of your limits, and not down you for them. If you are uncomfortable swallowing or having someone cum in your mouth, then that is something you do not have to do.

Just because others do, don't feel pressured into being comfortable with it.

Now, if it is something you do want to work up to getting comfortable with, the best thing to do is just take it at your own pace. Do not feel pressured into rushing the process, and just let the comfort come naturally. The pressure of wanting it, is the exact thing that will keep you from that comfort, and also ruin the enjoyment of your experience.

Key take away from this.
1. It isn't something you have to do. You deserve the comfort of feeling safe when doing activities.

2. Do not feel pressured or pressure yourself.

3. Take this at your own pace, find a partner willing to help you experiment with it slowly, and at a comfortable pace that you determine that is needed.


The biggest thing when doing these things is the big three: Consent, respect, and understanding. Never let anyone break these boundaries as you are worth more than that.

Deleted Member

Posted
Swallow. In all seriousness never do anything you're uncomfortable with. A real Dom shall be understanding.
Su****

Su****

Posted

This is a difficult one if it is really traumatic I would say don’t do it, make it a hard limit. But if you really want to move past it make it into sometime associated with pleasure. 
 

Maybe have him cum near your face once you are near orgasm with you going over afterwards. Keep doing this slowly getting closer each time until it is on your face. Then if it is working try catching some of it in your mouth if all is good at that stage maybe try moving towards him cumming in your mouth hopefully by this time you hopefully will have begun to associate it with the following orgasm.  It can go at any s***d you like. It may also help if your orgasms are restricted to these times. But that is not strictly necessary.
 

But that is only if you really want to move past it, I have no idea what happened to you but it may be an easier option just to call it a hard limit and not do it. Just remember it is up to you and there nothing wrong with backing out if you chose to go ahead and change your mind. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH IT BEING A HARD LIMIT. It is all up to you whatever you  decide your partner should support you, communicate with him. 
 

hope that helps, whatever you decide

Good luck and be happy

 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...